Dancing With Mystery
Posted on March 14, 2016
The greatest adventures I have ever had came out of the times I ran with my heart and decided to just go for it.
I was guided into places that would add so much to my life. Those callings to turn deep within the woods only on a hunch ended up being the best times I’ve ever been lost.
The time traveled deep into the Sierra’s to a river I fish constantly…and heard a calling to see how far upstream I go…only to find a spot that felt spiritual to me.
That time I decided to hike down the backside of Donner Peak to come across a tree that had been struck by lightning and exploded into a billion pieces…and yet each of the shards were as smooth as skin. The energy of that place I will never forget.
Of course, these were only a couple of times…but the lesson remains the same.
Stay curious. Dance with the mystery of it all. Stop trying to ruin the surprise.
As the year has gone on, and I have worked on my own depth and development, I’ve started to sit deeper and deeper into my intuition and let more of my mind go. The mind races. It yells and screams at times and tries to manufacture everything that’s about to happen.
Intuition knows without knowing.
And good lord have there been a few situations that this “knowing” has proved itself to be true.
There’s a vast array of what we do not know, and if you use that space to inspire you vs. intimidate you and make you try to manipulate life, you end up being a hell of a lot happier.
You find your purpose.
You understand the path you are supposed to take.
You stop playing games and you actually show up as this dynamic fluid thing vs. this thing thats rigid and structured.
I don’t play games…I won’t even partake in them.
I would much rather dive into the surprises that are waiting for me right around the corner and let go trying to figure it all out. Because the truth is, as much as I try sometimes, I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going to happen.
I mean, I have some ideas of what would be cool to do in the future – things that I would like for myself – but everything else is really left up for interpretation. What I can tell you for a fact is that I have let more and more of the narratives we are all fed go…and started seeing what was actually going to show up in my life.
And as hard as all of that stuff was to let go, I ended up showing up in the world much more dynamic – a rock when I needed to be, a wave in other moments – and that brought me a significant amount of flexibility.
To be fluid in a mechanical world is freeing. It’s liberating. It’s something you absolutely have to try on if you are willing.
But there’s another piece to everything that’s going on in my life right now. I’ve said in previous blogs the I’m about as open as I’m ever going to be. That really is true. Because I’ve done the work, I can truly be smiling in everything that’s happening and not feel anxious about not knowing what’s coming next.
That, is new.
My relationship with anxiety has changed. I nurture it. And then, whatever is bringing that up…poof…gone.
The fact of the matter is, I don’t want to know what’s going to happen. Because time and time again, when I let go of that…I have my socks absolutely knocked off. That, to me, is a hell of a lot more fun than always trying to put together what’s coming next.
It’s all about dancing with mystery…and then letting mystery do its dance.
I feel pretty lucky lately.
Lucky to have been given the strength to hold some serious things…and the ability to keep coming back to the table every single day with efforts to try again and again. I feel lucky to have incredible people around me who are supporting me in everything I’m deciding to do…and I feel pretty lucky to have gone through a full year of one of the most incredible experiences of my life.
When I talk about this year, I really feel so happy about it. This year, I really lived. And, with living, comes all sorts of cuts and scrapes, but good lord were there some amazing moments. I mean, a year filled with love, passion, dreams, goals, struggle, challenge, overcoming things, growing into responsibilities…it doesn’t get much better than that.
It’s funny because I felt like my New Year started last year in March…and here I am sitting in March going…are you kidding me look at everything that happened in pretty much the best way possible.
In the rain or in the sun.
And that’s all that really matters.
But one thing that keeps coming back into my heart is this fearlessness in which I am loving – loving life and loving others. It’s funny, most people think that you have to be in a relationship with someone in order to give this type of love. I can tell you, for a fact, that you don’t have to be.
You can fearlessly love your life and everything and everyone around it.
This is something, I have definitely taken to heart and learned like crazy.
So here I am, smiling tonight, a happy camper without any idea of what is to come or what will happen tomorrow. But this I do know…I know exactly who I’m going to be when I show up in those moments – me.
The Better Man Project
Amazing post, you are one of a kind so much honesty and love in your soul it’s mind blowing and such a privilege to share in your journey
Beautiful beautiful post. I admire you so much and honour the depth of your soul that brought you to this place. I hope to open my heart as much as you have and to soon feel that sense of bliss. Warmest wishes to you.