Sometimes, you look back and wonder where time has gone.
Yet, in following moments you see exactly where it went.
One of my greatest challenges is fully accepting a truth that’s so glaringly simple and powerful beyond measure that it completely disintegrates an entire decade of searching for answers to problems that caused me so much pain.
That’s a lot to chew on.
I’m reminded of the book “Holes” by Louis Sachar where a group of young men were digging out in the desert seeking treasure. They dug and dug and dug and time and time again came up with nothing.
In many ways, I can relate.
Often I’ve felt like I’ve been diggin in all of the wrong places. While I’ve found some cool artifacts along the way, I never really stayed where I wanted to be.
But at the same time, there’s something to be said about at least putting the shovel in the ground somewhere to get anywhere.
I didn’t come into any of this journey with a plan.
There was no map or general idea of where I was supposed to begin.
There was only my gut – which I often mistrusted – but came back to in the end despite getting remarkably lost.
There were so many moments that I thought I had something and then I just found more sand. I sought and sought for secrets and complexities and at the end of the day found out that the solution couldn’t have been more easy to understand.
It was me.
It has always been me.
I was looking outward and as soon as I turned within, I discovered that all of the problems and solutions existed with who was staring right back at me in the mirror.
“I created this.”
Now, I’m responsible for turning this all around.
And then came the next lesson…
Responsibility is an interesting thing.
As soon as you take 100% of it, there’s this little voice inside wishing that you didn’t have to. It wishes that you could have an excuse for a scapegoat. But as soon as you point fingers, you’re stuck in a trap.
We are, in many ways, products of the decisions we have made throughout our entire lives. But in no way is that a permanent reality.
In time, many things can change.
Just as you have arrived here through those decisions you can change your destination entirely by making completely new ones.
But what really started to make me wonder was when I was taught that you could turn back the clock on a lot of the effects and ripple effects many of those decisions have created.
So here I am sitting with the simplicity of it all.
It can’t really be that simple.
There has to be something else.
But the truth is, there isn’t something else.
The truth is, for those who dive down the rabbit holes of the mind the farther and farther away from the truth they find themselves.
The answer is in plain sight.
It’s not complicated.
It’s not difficult.
It’s the easiest thing you’ll ever do and that’s what will make it challenging.
That’s the twist.
And when you get that, you’ll know.
The Better Man Project