CAPTION 1
Hi. Where do I even begin? I guess I’ll start with what’s in my heart right now.
It’s taken me 9 years to arrive to a place, that when I started out on this journey, I could never have predicted what it all would have looked like.
Those years were full of victories and defeats of the grandest proportions. And the truth is, along the way I acquired so many scars and wounds that a piece of me wanted to lock everything up and just hide.
The other side, the deeper wiser version, knew that somehow I had to take everything that happened and turn all that darkness into light.
My path was so far from over.
This all brought me to this moment thinking about what’s just around the bend.
Faith.
Redemption.
Courage.
Unfolding.
I have a thousand stories to tell. Stories that have been locked inside, held too close to my heart for too long, because I lost my own inner compass leading me back to the truth and the point of this all – to be a light.
Luckily, I found it once again.
Joseph Campbell, one of my favorite authors and mythologists once said, “Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.”
For quite some time now, I’ve been asking myself that question, “What would bliss be like?”
I can see it in color. Every time I close my eyes and let me imagination go to work the tapestries unfold in front of me.
I can see the truth that I spent so long searching for. But it’s not enough to just know the path in front of you.
You must be willing to walk it.
I am.
CAPTION 2
Rumi once said, “What you seek is seeking you.” I’ve always loved that. The very thing you’re looking for is also trying to find you.
It takes courage to look deep within your heart and allow yourself to dream without rules or restrictions.
You have to put aside all of the fear, doubt and worry. You have to let go of all of the things that other people have said to you in the past.
Root yourself deep within the earth and ask. Close your eyes and begin speaking to the heavens. Let the gifts that are within you heat up and images of possibility start to dance in your mind.
Being who you really are and calling forward what you truly want takes guts.
Will there be fear? Of course.
But the journey to bring your dreams to life is the greatest one of all.
So let them out.
Show your gifts.
Let your visions guide the way.
Step into what you know you have to do and what you’ve never done before. Sacrifices will have to be made. Commitments will have to be strengthened. But if you allow yourself to move into the world in a new way, your entire world will change.
Old stories will disintegrate.
Old fears will release.
And all of the worries of what it means to let something go will be confronted with what actually is here. Very quickly, you will come to see that what’s “here” is far more interesting than what you thought was going to be “there.”
Soak it in. It’s your time.
CAPTION 3
No matter what happens, you have to find it within yourself to keep hanging on and refuse to quit.
Don’t ever give up. Don’t ever let your fears have the last word.
That’s not why you’re here.
You’re here to show others what’s possible with their lives if they believe in themselves and what they are capable of.
You’re going to get dragged through the mud.
You’re going to fail.
But all that matters is that you keep getting back up and you continue forward.
I’ve been thinking about the last decade of my life a lot lately. Where it began, all that happened and where I am now.
I thought about all of the mentors I had come across and the endless pages of books I got lost in.
It became really clear to me that I was seeking answers to a lot of questions that I had been asking for a very long time.
While the path wasn’t pretty at times, I found those answers.
This all brings me to this moment thinking about what’s right here in front of me.
Faith.
Redemption.
Courage.
I have a thousand stories to tell. Stories that have been locked inside, held too close to my heart for too long, because I lost my own inner compass leading me back to the truth and the point of this all – to be a light.
Joseph Campbell, one of my favorite authors and mythologists once said, “Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.”
For quite some time, I’ve been asking myself that question, “What would bliss be like?”
I can see it in color.
Every time I close my eyes and let me imagination go to work the tapestries unfold in front of me.
I can see the truth that I spent so long searching for. But it’s not enough to just know the path in front of you.
You must be willing to walk it.
So get walkin’
CAPTION 4
These dreams you have exist for a reason. They are whispers coming from the soul speaking of potential, possibility and growth.
Honor them.
Listen to them.
Create them.
Step fully into them.
The path you travel will never be completely clear.
Waiting until you’re fully ready to throw yourself into it sets you up to never actually go for it.
Trust me, I’ve spent more time than you can imagine waiting for the right moment for it only to never come.
The truth is, you’re never going to feel completely ready. You’re never going to feel like you’ve got everything figured out.
But you’re not supposed to.
There’s so many elements of the future that you could never predict and only will be able to address when you reach them.
So, when you get to the place where you’re just a little more excited than afraid, that’s when you go for it.
That’s when you go all in. To hell with playing it safe…it will never get you anywhere significant.
My favorite movie drops one of the greatest nuggets of wisdom ever.
Chef Gusteau says, “You must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul. What I say is true – anyone can cook, but only the fearless can be great.
Don’t be afraid to dream big. Don’t be afraid to chase after the best version of you. If you believe you can make it happen, then go for it.
The world has seen impossible turn to possible time and time again.
But everyone who achieved that had one very important characteristic – belief.
They saw something far beyond what many could and they trusted that vision.
It’s yours to create.
CAPTION 5
It takes everything to begin something. All of your courage. All of you willpower.
The energy it takes to get something rolling in a different direction is massive.
Efforts from faint hearts will not do.
No matter what has happened in the past, you can create a different future. Each moment you have a choice of how you want to create the very world in front of you.
You can choose to live in fear or you can choose to live in love. This is your decision to make and yours entirely.
No one can make it but you.
No matter how much you try, you can’t control everything. There will be things that happen that are completely out of your hands.
Understand this deeply.
But what you can do is choose how you want to move forward after that event has happened.
You can hold onto it and let the pain fester or you can move through it with light and let it dissolve around you. You can hold resentment or grace.
Once again, that choice is yours and yours alone.
It will take time. It’s not easy. But the process frees you from the moments of the past that used to control you. It lets you escape a prison of your own making.
Be willing to let go of the things that you know in order to truly begin to “see.”
The way you’ve been doing things, the things you think you know and the habits you have can all put you in a box.
Be flexible enough to let those morph into things that truly serve you.
Don’t be afraid to start all over again. 30 days of being truly alive and living your truth can make you more alive than 5 years of just surviving.
Time is a funny thing like that.
Think about more “being” and less “doing.”
And above all, trust the path.
CAPTION 6
It’s going to take courage. It’s going to take everything you’ve got to finally let go of what you’ve been holding onto for so long.
The hardest part of the journey is the first step – finally making that decision – and when you do everything begins to snap into place.
Think about how much space has been taken up by what you’ve been holding onto. See how those memories or events have snuck their way into all different areas of your life.
Look for not only the effects, but the ripple effects as well.
Letting go isn’t about denying something’s existence. It happened. It really did. But it’s about beginning to rewrite the story.
It’s about seeing something that happened from the eyes of wisdom and compassion instead of fear, doubt and worry.
When you see through the lens of negativity, it locks you even further into the past. The prison bars become stronger.
But when you shift the narrative by applying things like understanding, forgiveness, wisdom and truth…things start to shake loose.
The very thing itself begins to loosen its grip on you and without much effort at all, you progressively let go.
It’s no small feat to head into what scares you, to old events and situations in life that you’d rather ignore, and to dig into doing the work.
But as challenging as it may be, what’s on the other side is freedom, space, and new room to create.
Never forget that you are constantly creating and unfolding. If you don’t like the book you are reading, you’re the only one who has the power to change it.
The pages are yours to do with.
Let go of the old to allow for the new. Come back to what is happening in this moment. Open yourself to possibilities instead of shutting down in fear.
See that your life is canvas on which you can create anything you’d like.
And don’t forget to breathe 🙂
CAPTION 7
I want to share something with you today that I’ve only shared with a few people. It’s a lucid dream I had a while back that eventually turned into one of the greatest practices I have.
More than anything, it’s a way to work with your emotions.
…even the most challenging ones.
I want you to imagine a room, a building, a space…somewhere that resonates with you. Could be a spiritual or holy place. Could be somewhere you’ve been and felt deeply connected with.
See yourself there.
Open every window and door. After you do, imagine setting up two chairs in the center of the room. One is for you. One is for whatever wishes to visit.
Sit.
Breathe.
Settle in.
Remember, you’re holding space for everything and anything that needs your attention. No distractions. No judgements. Just letting things be exactly as they are.
Maybe joy walks in through one of the doors and sits down next to you for a while. Jumps on the chair. Does a dance and wanders off.
Maybe a memory comes through one of the open windows and you remember a special day long ago.
But the true healing arrives when we embrace the more difficult things work with. So when sadness walks through the door, you don’t avoid it, but rather you motion to the chair for it to sit down, hold its hand, and listen.
Don’t run from it. Seek to understand it first.
Listen to what it needs. Sure, it may be uncomfortable at first. That’s the way difficult emotions are. But the more you sit with them the deeper the insights become. You see through the pain and start to recognize the opportunities for healing.
Those darker moments get lighter and lighter as you bring love to them. The heaviness of the emotion begins to lift. The more you embrace it, the more sense it makes.
…and eventually, when it’s ready, it gets up and walks away.
Make this practice your own. Let your imagination run with it. But I think you understand the core of it. Leave yourself open to hearing the messages even if they are difficult.
There’s no greater thing I could ever teach you than learning how to tap into the deepest wisest version of yourself.
This is just one of the ways to get there.
Enjoy.
CAPTION 8
Every once in a while there comes a rare moment that shifts the course of your life permanently. Let me tell you about one of mine…
One day my coach who I had been working with for a while couldn’t make her session with her own mentor. Out of the blue she called me up and asked me if I would like to take her spot.
I immediately said yes. I knew I couldn’t miss that chance. So I wiped my calendar clean for the day and a few hours later drove to the depths of San Jose.
While being very excited, I had no idea what to expect.
However, as soon as I walked into her home office and saw her for the first time, I knew I was going to be okay because she reminded me of The Oracle from The Matrix.
I sat down and within minutes just started speaking from my heart. I told her everything that was going on. I shared my fears, doubts and worries.
I spilled out all of the secrets I had never told anyone.
The mask came off and I just sat there vulnerable, exposed…and yet felt safer than I had ever been.
It became very apparent to me in speaking with her how much fear gripped my life. Then, she did something I would never forget.
She looked me in the eyes and said…
“The things we run from end up owning us.”
I think there are a few moments in life when you hear something that couldn’t have come at a better time. This was definitely one of those for me.
Her words shook me.
mentally
emotionally
physically
spiritually
She helped me realize that everything I was avoiding was running my life. It was tearing me apart. Everything that I swept under the rug hoping that it would just disappear was still there waiting to be dealt with.
It was never going to go away if I didn’t deal with it.
We are destined to continue repeating the mistakes of the past if we don’t spend time truly understanding how we came to be who we are.
But it all has to be done with a gentle heart.
You don’t have to spend your life looking into the past. But for those things that need healing, go with love.
CAPTION 9
That first step can be pretty scary.
Leaving what you’ve know behind and heading into something new?
That takes so much courage. But it’s also hard.
There’s a ton of momentum from the old ways of doing things and trying to shift that can be a challenge in of itself.
What can make or break this entire process is a sneaky idea called “perfection.”
It’ll convince you that there will be some point in the future that everything has lined up so nicely that you’ll have no problem with starting.
So you wait and wait…and wait.
But here’s what I can tell you with certainty – if you wait for the perfect moment to arrive, you’ll be waiting forever.
It’s never going to show up. Not because you don’t deserve it or anything like that. It’ll never arrive because there’s no such thing.
When is it ever going to be perfect? No problems? Nothing to face? Nothing going on in the world?
It’s just not a thing.
That’s the sneaky part about it.
The mind romanticizes perfection so much that it believes its real.
It’s just an endless trap that’s very difficult to escape from once you’re in its clutches.
You don’t need to be perfect.
You don’t need to wait for perfect moments.
You don’t need to put on a show.
You don’t need to be flawless.
You don’t need any of that.
What you need to be is you.
Flawed.
Imperfect.
Human.
Blessed.
Chosen.
Take that with you.
Take this version of yourself on that journey that you’ve been seeing in your mind. Let yourself be molded by your travels.
The adventure of it all is what matters.
You’ll go where you need to go.
It may not end up being where you thought you were going to end up, but often it’s so much better.
It takes courage to let go.
It takes courage to begin.
It takes courage to be yourself.
Be proud of that – that you have this in you to start something and see if all the way through to the end.
That’s really something.
CAPTION 10
When you have faith that the right things will be in your life and show up as they are designed to, then all of the fear of what might leave begins to disappear.
As with all things, they are meant to come and go.
But we love to hold on. We love to grip everything so tight even to the point of sometimes not giving it enough freedom. Relax your grip. Breathe. The things that are meant for you will be there.
This has been one of the greatest lessons I have ever learned (and am still learning every single day). I used to be at war with life. I had such a hard time with “going with the flow.” I figured that if I just hiked upstream against the rivers will that I could just “make things happen.”
But the problem was I couldn’t adjust when things inevitably ended and thought that the heavens themselves had something against me. What I failed to see in those younger years is that things were leaving for a very good reason.
Of course it would hurt. Sometimes it hurt badly. But every single time, something better came along. Something that would teach me, help me grow, and put me on the right path.
I know it can be hard to deal with the coming and going of things. It can be difficult to understand. But if you hold onto your faith and trust in whatever you believe in, you’ll be okay. In fact, you’ll be more than okay.
Keep that heart open. Never close off. Heal your wounds and stay open to wonderful things happening. When you lose your way, come back to who you know you are and what makes you…you.
Don’t ever forget where you came from.
CAPTION 11
I wrote this when I was going through the thick of it. When everything feels like it’s swirling around you and you can’t find your footing, it’s really easy to get swept downstream in it all.
Be right here. Even if it’s in the mud.
Because if there wasn’t any mud, there couldn’t be a lotus.
You don’t have to escape what’s happening. That’s how you get swept away. Sit in it. Root yourself deep into the ground and just breathe.
All of it will pass. And for the things that need your input and attention, if you can find your breath in it all you’ll also have your wisdom.
You’re not lost.
You’re right here.
You’ve always been right here.
It doesn’t have to be your favorite place to be. You don’t have to pretend that you like what’s happening if you’re really going through it.
But you do need…you…to be here.
Fully.
Willing to face it.
Willing to work through it.
Willing to accept your role in all of it.
And when you can do that, you’ll find your way through.
So be right here.
Here. Here. Here.
Here. Here.
Here.
CAPTION 12
The greatest challenge you will ever face is beginning to believe in yourself again after you feel like all has been lost.
When you lose faith and trust in yourself and everything around you, things begin to look pretty dark.
It can feel like there’s no one who understands where you’re at and can possibly help you through the mud you’re in.
If you’re in this place right now, I want you to hear what I’m about to say next.
No matter how bad it gets, deep within you lives a light that cannot be extinguished.
Some call it hope. Others call it courage. I think it may be different for everyone.
But for me, it was resilience.
It has always been there and no matter what was happening in my life, no matter how bad it seemed, I knew that if I just kept on moving forward, I would find my way out of the mud.
You will too.
To find this spark again, you need to quiet everything down around you – all of the voices, judgements and people – and reach deep within yourself and remind yourself of who you are beyond the fleeting opinions of the outside world.
Reach in and hold your dreams again.
See how you have survived everything that’s ever come your way.
Give yourself credit for still being here.
And then, find that one reason why it’s going to be worth it for you to keep on moving forward.
That’s all you need.
When things were hard for me, I lived by the following quote by Eleanor Roosevelt. She said…
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
You can do this.
CAPTION 13
It has been an interesting few years to say the least. There have been many many challenges across the board (too many to list) and even more changes.
But I want to talk about what’s written above more than anything because I think that’s the most important part of it all.
Acceptance is a very interesting word.
As time as gone on, I’ve really understood acceptance to be many different things.
Ownership. Responsibility. Alignment. Mobility.
There are many other words I would use alongside it.
But most of all, I’ve viewed acceptance as a deep embracing of things as they are. I also know what acceptance isn’t. It isn’t what I thought life should be.
That gap can be very difficult to traverse sometimes. There’s an incredible amount of friction that’s created when the mind is at war with how things actually are. It fights it in all sorts of ways and pain seems to compound.
It’s even more at work when something significant happens “to you.” This “shouldn’t” have happened. This “should” have happened instead. Lots of whys and what if’s also seem to come with it.
But the fact of the matter is…it did happen. It happened exactly the way it did. It didn’t happen any other way. It happened that way. And maybe coming to that realization isn’t the easiest pill to swallow. But here’s what I can tell you after witnessing some of the bravest people I know truly own this…
What comes from this type of ownership is courage, bravery, responsibility, integrity, and eventually joy.
Watching someone take the most difficult situations of their life, removing all of the judgement, shame, and betrayal, applying a whole lot of understanding, love and compassion is one of the most special things I get to be a part of on the daily.
And honestly, being a part of that and helping facilitate it gives me more courage to continue to dig into my own story that I could ever imagine.
You can’t change what happened. But you can choose what happens next.
I hope that gives you courage.
CAPTION 14
You can spend a lifetime looking back at the past – contemplating, wishing, dreading, reliving – but the fact of the matter is those moments have passed.
They are gone. What’s leftover are just the movie reels from those moments in time.
And you can play them again and again.
The good. The bad. The dark.
With eyes of judgement we dig ourselves even deeper into those moments and the ripple effects they have had on our lives.
With understanding we can find wisdom and compassion in the same moments that have challenged you down to your core.
But you have to come back.
This is all you’ve got. What’s right here.
What happened doesn’t matter anymore. It has been written. For better or for worse.
But now…that’s still yours…over and over again. You can come back from anything. I’ve seen it over and over again.
You are not the tragedies that have happened to you in your life. You are so much more than that.
It’s up to you to bring yourself back time and time again.
To settle the mind. To listen to your spirit. To course correct as you learn to trust yourself more and more. You are your responsibility.
So write the story you’d be proud to read one day.
Write a story about a hero coming back from the depths of despair. Write of teachers, guides, courage and determination.
Write a story about grit.
That no matter what came your way, no matter how badly you have fallen, that you persisted. You never quit. No circumstance was adequate enough to dim your light.
Don’t focus so much on letting go. Focus your intentions on coming back. Gently. With grace. “Back to this moment.”
Breathe. As it has been said in so many different ways throughout time…be here now.
It’s all you’ve got.
CAPTION 15
There are these moments that you keep close to the chest that you’ll never forget for as long as you live.
Moments that changed you in some way. So much so that you could never go back to who you were before them.
For me, those moments have always brought warmth. Even though situations and people change as time goes on, those moments stand still in time.
Working through resentment is a tricky thing. There’s the part of you that wants to be right about it all and prove a point. It only breeds more anger and bitterness.
And then there’s that ancient part of you – I guess you would call that the soul – that understands that you can honor both: that things have changed and the moment you still treasure.
When that happens…all the resentment and negativity just flows away.
All your left with is love for someone, even though things couldn’t be more different now.
Maybe that’s what opens doors are…
Opportunities for people to walk through – as different human beings – but ones that have impacted you in some important way.
It’s okay for things to change.
They are going to change despite your best efforts.
You can only go with how things are and ride that current.
But I hope you leave doors open along the way. Even if things didn’t end well. Because people are capable of extraordinary things.
And maybe, just maybe, they will walk through that door again.
Wouldn’t that be something.
CAPTION 16
One day you’re going to arrive at a door in your life.
This isn’t just any regular door.
It’s a door that holds a very specific set of rules and can only be opened when those rules are followed.
This door leads you to the next stage of your life.
You might arrive at that door and spend some time trying to open it but it remains locked.
Some people turn away. Some try to go around it.
And then there’s the few who sit by it and learn everything they can about it.
Each door that we come across is made differently.
They are beautiful in their own way.
No two doors are the same and you can’t use the exact same knowledge to open the new one.
They also hold completely different aspects of your story and take you on a path that you are meant to travel.
You can decide to ignore the door if you wish, but it won’t take you to where you need to be.
It will take you off course for as long as you wish and you’ll experience many different things.
But it will never be what you’ve know deep down in your soul that you were supposed to do.
So eventually, if we allow ourselves, we arrive back at the foot of the door reflecting on what it took for us to arrive at this point in time.
Sitting.
Thinking.
Remembering.
Questioning.
Then, when you’ve finally committed to moving forward in a different way, the door swings open and you’re exposed to an entirely new world.
But that door only opens when you’ve made the decision with every ounce of your being.
That’s when you’re granted access. The key to every door is faith.
Without it, you can’t go where you need to. You spin your wheels and reject your path.
But with it, anything is possible.
All doors open.
All paths can be realized.
All journeys taken.
Don’t ever stop believing.
CAPTION 17
You are not deficient. You are not lacking. You are not a piece or a part of a soul. You are not a victim. Let me repeat the last one – you are not a victim.
At one point in time you may have thought that, but not now. No longer. You have what you need. You have more than enough. You are whole. You are healing, moving forward, and taking the lead role in how the rest of the story is written.
It’s easy to find yourself in the clutches of fear. If you let it settle in for too long, it will begin to crawl into all areas of your life. One day you go outside and look at the garden and see that it has been completely overrun by weeds. That’s how fear works…it’s consuming.
Roll up your sleeves.
If the garden is a mess, it’s time to start pulling. There’s no mind trick that erases habitual patterns and choices. There’s no slogan that dissolves fear on contact.
There’s only awareness and choices.
You first have to be able to see what are you doing. You have to be aware of it. You have to know whether or not it is helping you grow or holding you back. That’s half of the battle there.
Then, you need a new way. Imagine a way of showing up in the world that serves you. Now that you’ve imagined it, step into it. Do it. Try it out.
This is how your entire world changes. You have to be willing to take the chance of trying something new in order to grow into who you are meant to be. There’s no way around in.
The cycles will repeat themselves endlessly until you choose differently. This is where you have to realize that you have everything you need to be who you are meant to be. It’s staring at you right in the mirror.
You are the source. You are the solution. You’re it.
CAPTION 18
As much as you love other people, you must also fiercely love yourself. Compassion can be very soft but it can also roar like a lion. There’s a wonderful balance between the two.
I’ve always thought of self-love and self-care through the eyes of a big redwood tree. What happens if you stop watering the tree completely? The tree starts to suffer. Not only does the tree fail to thrive, but the entire ecosystem that the tree supports also doesn’t get to benefit as well.
Is the tree selfish for bringing water up through its roots and nourishing the rest of itself? No. It’s just doing what it has to naturally to continue to thrive and support everything that depends on it. It’s simply in its nature to do what it’s intended to do.
And similarly, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish whatsoever. As much as you go out into the world and offer your love, care, compassion and support to others, you also have to make sure you are looking after yourself. Of course other people will be able to offer you the same things you offer them, but that doesn’t negate the need for you to do the work that only you can do.
“What can I do today that would really nourish me?” That’s the question I want you to ask yourself. Sit there, quietly, and listen. Listen to what your wisdom says. Beyond all of the noise of the mind, it’s going to tell you directly – hey here’s what you’ve been neglecting or really need right now.
And then, go do it. It’s not just enough to hear the wisdom. You have to act on it.
Go offer yourself that nourishment and care. Pull water and nutrients back into your roots. Sometimes we don’t feel like ourselves not because the outside world is getting to us but because we aren’t playing an active role in making sure our internal world is well taken care of.
You are, and always will be, a beautiful work in progress. As the layers unfold, nurture them. Move past the critic and take extraordinary care of yourself.
This is how you begin to really thrive.
CAPTION 19
What do I need? What does the deepest wisest version of myself say? When you can answer that question (and the answers might change every day) you are at the essence of self-care.
There’s a very common story that flies around in peoples heads (for many different reasons) that self-care = selfish. But they couldn’t be farther apart. Self-care is about nourishing the deepest elements of who you are to make sure you can show up to the best version of yourself. Selfishness at its core is about caring about yourself only.
One doesn’t equal the other. When you can let go of the story that taking care of you is such a bad thing, you open yourself up to the possibility of finally getting what you need. For most people, it’s like finally getting a sip of water after walking through an endless desert.
Pretty damn refreshing.
And the big payoff is this – when you finally start taking care of yourself, you vastly improve your capacity to give to and take care of others. You thought you had a big heart before? Wait until you start giving yourself what you need. Your ability to bring forward compassion, empathy, hold space and every other wonderful element of what makes you, YOU…will come to the forefront.
Give it a try. Answer those questions above. What does the deepest wisest version of myself say that I really need here? Patiently wait and listen for an answer. The, and most importantly, go do it.
CAPTION 20
It’s not easy letting go. Everything inside wants to hold onto what we know. Even if it isn’t the best thing for us, there’s some sense of comfort in the familiar.
And yet, everything that’s meant for you is right on the other side of what you’ve let go of. Your future. Your dreams. The life you want to live. The things you’ve imagined for yourself. They are all there. But there’s a price to pay.
There has to be space. Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. What you’re holding onto takes up room and prevents what’s supposed to be from entering into the equation.
I know it’s scary. It’s one of the hardest things to do. But once you see through all the fear and release your grip on life, things just have a way of working themselves out.
The unknown can either be a terrifying prospect or a great opportunity. It’s entirely up to you in how you would like to approach it. That one is in your control. My hope is that you open up to a world full of possibility and trade what you’ve known for even greater mysteries and surprises.
Be brave. You can do this.
CAPTION 21
You never get “there.” There’s no island where it all turns out. Rather, you’re a constantly unfolding being always learning and growing.
Always in the act of becoming.
A beautiful work in progress.
A soul with boundless potential.
Imagine a lotus unfolding endlessly layer after layer after layer. It never ends. It just continues on and on. Each layer you arrive at a new stage of depth where you come to an understanding. And then the next layer unfolds, you begin again, and arrive at a place of depth and wisdom in time.
You have absolutely no idea of just how much you are capable of. It goes beyond what your mind could “see.”
Why limit yourself then? You only “know what you know.” But that’s for right now. Isn’t it the story of your life that you eventually come to “know” things that you never knew before?
The possibilities are the same. You’re capable of things…that you don’t even “know” you’re capable of. That should excite the hell out of you.
So stop putting so much pressure on yourself to get “there.” There is no “there.” There’s only here. It’s all you have, all you ever had and all you ever will have.
And when you really take the time to stop and just connect, you’ll experience so many wonderful things flooding in it will overwhelm you. You get to see the process for what it actually is – endless growth.
You’ve spent a lifetime running to a place where you think it all pans out. But that place has always been right here. That’s what the seeker eventually learns – that everything they were ever looking for existed within.
At times we may feel completely disconnected from our intentions and who we really are, but we don’t need to go searching outside of ourselves for that version of ourselves. All we have to do is plug back in – like plugging in a lamps chord into the wall.
Be here. Be here. Be here. Over and over again. Repeat it to yourself. Sit in the silence and just feel into what’s “here.”
CAPTION 22
There’s this Buddhist slogan that I love that says “When things are going well, be patient, they’ll change. When things are going poorly, be patient, they’ll change.”
Everything, and I mean everything, is always shifting and changing. Things are either coming or going and it’s a process that we can’t stop. It’s a river that no matter what we do always carries us with it despite our best efforts.
Many will try to dam up the river. Try to manipulate it, change it, move the rocks around within it or swim up stream. They will rage against it and do their best to try to force their will upon it. But in time, it always takes them to where it intended to go.
Peace and mindfulness are about traveling with the river and addressing whatever arrives when it does. It’s not about speculating what will come. How could you possibly know? It’s about taking your oars out of the water and enjoying the ride. Take in the scenery. Sit back and stay a while.
So that leads me to this. No matter what is going on in your life, you have a choice to make. Fight against how things actually are, yielding a significant amount of pain and suffering. Or, going with the way things are unfolding, and meet those events with courage, understanding and wisdom.
Remember, the circumstances change constantly. Things will go up and down and those situations you can’t control. But you can control what you do with those situations. You can control who you decide to “be” in those moments. These are the most powerful decisions of all.
Joseph Campbell, a famous mythologist and great thinker once wrote, “The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight.” I think you get the point of what he is saying here.
Don’t spend much time looking back. It’s good to from time to time to really gain a deeper understanding of who you are and how you arrived here. But most of all, be here. Ride the current and have faith you are going where you need to be.
CAPTION 23
Sometimes there are lines from movies or books that really stick with you. They resonate on a level that’s hard to understand but always seem to come right when you need them the most.
One for me has always been a line from Hagrid in The Goblet of Fire. He says to Harry, “No good sittin’ worryin’ abou’ it. What’s comin’ will come, an’ we’ll meet it when it does.”
It’s easy to get in your head about things.
Fear has a way of gripping the soul. You sit there worrying and catastrophizing…thinking about all of the ways things could or might go wrong.
That energy feeds upon itself and can soon paralyze you completely if you allow it to.
And yet, once you come back to what’s actually here and begin to clear your mind, you see that you’re only “here” and all of the things you were thinking about don’t actually exist.
False Evidence Appearing Real.
From that space, making decisions and allowing for courage to shine through are infinitely easier. The deepest wisest version of you comes out to run the show and you make the decisions that are right for you.
You’re going to get through this.
Maybe you’re right at the beginning of something or have been navigating through it for quite some time. Nonetheless, you’ll find your way.
You’ve done that time and time again in your life. No matter how bad things were you found your way. There were probably times during that process that you thought there was absolutely no chance of making it out.
I know I’ve been there. But every time you find yourself sitting in the dark, take a moment to recognize that you are the light.
You’re the one finding your way through all of this. What’s coming will come. You’ll know what to do when it does.
You always have. You always will.
CAPTION 24
There’s these surprising little nuggets of wisdom that you pick up along the way. This has been one that’s really helped me get through tough times. It came from one of my teachers who studied with monks for over a decade. He obviously learned and passed on many many more things…but this one particularly stuck with me.
“Life’s hard enough. Don’t make it worse.”
The challenges are going to come. There’s no arguing that. But when they do, there exists a choice of what to do with them.
You can fundamentally make things better, or worse. If you meet those challenges with fear, doubt, worry, judgement, anxiety, criticism etc…it’s going to make it worse. Sometimes a whole lot worse. Now you’re not just in the hole you fell into but you’re digging yourself deeper. It takes even more work to climb out.
But if you do happen to fall into a hole, understand that these things happen. Sometimes they happen no matter how much you tried to prevent it from taking place. Since you’re there, understanding that it is indeed, just a pit, and that you have what you need to get out of it.
Meet it with understanding, love, skill, strategy, compassion, courage and all of the great qualities about you.
When you do, you’ll see that very same pit from a completely different angle. You’ll use what you’ll have and find your way out of a difficult situation.
And if you’ve found yourself with not the best mental attitude about things, that’s okay. Don’t judge yourself from that either (remember – don’t make it worse). Just recognize that’s where you’ve been and make the shift to something more productive.
Be gentle with yourself. That’s how you get through.
CAPTION 25
Even the smallest acts of love can change the world. If the intentions are pure and matched with actions that are in alignment, the ripples can go far beyond what you could ever imagine.
People, events, moments can be impacted by positive waves of cause and effect. And it’s kindness, one of the qualities that we seem to overlook the most, that often makes the greatest difference.
Life is hard enough as it is. Can you make it better for yourself and also for others by meeting the moments in front of you with a sense of compassion and understanding? It’s incredibly easy to fall into the trap of fearing and judging everything. And often there seems to be a pretty compelling case for it all.
But we lose ourselves when we come from that place. We disconnect with the best we can put forward. Our courage. Our ability to transmute the darkness into light. Our ability to walk with faith without necessarily being able to see the end.
So meet these moments with kindness. If your compassion needs to be fierce at times, let it. Don’t ever underestimate how incredible you are and how much of a difference you can make, even if it’s just you. It starts with one. One becomes the many.
CAPTION 26
Faith can wax and wane at times. Life gives out beatings – I think we’ve all been there – and a lot of questions can pop up as to the point of it all. Just the straight up “WHY?” pretty much covers all of it.
But it’s important to remember that you are so much more than the things that have happened to you. They are absolutely pieces of your life but they are not the whole thing – no matter how bad things were.
Yes there can definitely be scars and deeper wounds. But your capacity to heal those things – even if help is needed from others at times – is unmatched. Love, compassion and wisdom heal many many things with time and effort. And while you may feel broken, you’re still here and that matters.
Don’t ever underestimate how much you can drastically change your life even if you’ve been sitting in the mud. With enough faith and courage to move forward and do what needs to be done, you can suddenly find yourself in a place where the past just seems so far away.
Be patient. Take your time. The actions you take with pure intentions of heart matter. The ripples you create stretch far beyond what you can see. The future rests upon those decisions. Take care.
CAPTION 27
It can all change so fast. In a blink of an eye what you understood to be so rock solid can shift drastically. You can either fight against it or go for a ride. But that choice will determine everything.
Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to like what’s happening. It’s about embracing the reality of the situation. “This is happening. It’s not happening any other way.”
From that statement alone – no matter how challenging what’s in front of you may be – you can gain a tremendous amount of strength. Since you’re not fighting against life as it is and instead aligning with how things have changed, you are given one of the greatest things of all: choice.
You can’t always control what’s happened to you. But you can absolutely get on board with what is happening now and make your decisions from there. Whether you want to call it destiny, the plan, luck or just chance it’s important that you roll with how things are.
Remember, you don’t have to like it. But you do have to accept it. Embrace it. Understand it. Approach it with wisdom. That’s where the good stuff happens. That’s when your best self comes forward.
CAPTION 28
Every step you’ve taken has been part of the path. You never lost your way. You’ve only been “here.”
There are no steps backwards. There’s no going back in time. You’ve only been finding your way – a perfect succession of “nows” over and over again.
Every fall.
Every mistake.
Every victory and defeat.
They have all led you here, to this place, waking up more and more as the days go by. How could you ever say that these things that happened – while maybe painful at times – were not meant to be if you are finding the gold that lays within them?
They were what you needed to learn. To become. To shift and morph. So here you are.
Awakening.
Seeing.
Rooting and discovering.
And the big question becomes…who are you going to be in your next moments?
The events of the past have turned to fluid paintings and are almost like a dream. How can you nourish them? How can you soften them? How can you take something so dark and bring light to it?
No one can travel this path but you.
The rocks in the river can be moved. The barriers can be broken. The moments can be transformed. They all can shift. But you have to let them. You have to finally let go and step forward.
Trust. Trust in your heart. Trust in who you really are. Then, become.
What you think you are is only a fraction of what you could really be. You have so much in front of you. You have many lifetimes left.
All of that time you spent struggling and battling against the cards that were given to you can be reclaimed as well.
But you have to make the choice.So when you’re a little more excited than afraid, begin.
CAPTION 29
Not everything that comes back around is meant to stay in your life. We attract all sorts of different things. Not all of them have your best interests in mind. So it becomes incredibly important to learn how to say “no.”
Strong. Healthy. Boundaries.
We aren’t looking to build walls. Walls, while they do keep things out quite well, also tend to trap things in. When you try to block out fear, doubt, worry, anxiety etc. you only suppress your compassion, joy, courage and other wonderful qualities as well.
Instead, think of healthy boundaries like a big golden protective net.
The net’s holes are big enough to let things in that are meant to be there and yet they are small enough to catch what’s meant to be put at a distance. As you walk throughout life you learn more and more what’s meant for you and what’s not.
But that’s not the end of this.
Life has a funny way of testing the boundaries you created. It’s almost as if it says, “Oh yeah? You’re feeling quite confident that this person isn’t meant for you or that you won’t do that anymore? Well…let’s just drop that right thereeeee and see what happens.”
And then all the speculation goes right out the window and you actually have an opportunity to step up to the plate and back up what you said.
Or, not.
Which is a lesson as well.
You’re not going to be perfect with this. No one walks into this world knowing how to set healthy boundaries. They are either going to come on too strong or not exist at all.
But find the balance.
Find where your “no” comes across as wise, compassionate and strong.
Boundaries aren’t set out of fear. Those only end up limiting and hurting you. Boundaries are there out of love.
They are created with the best intentions in mind. It’s about honoring your experience and what your wisdom tells you. It’s about making distinctions between compassion and tolerance.
So, be mindful of the things that come your way and how they fit into your life.
CAPTION 30
Our own growth and development is a lot like crossing a river. When we first arrive at the river bank, we stand there with a mixture of emotions at what exists in front of us.
Fear, doubt, courage, excitement, worry and everything else in between. We think about what the journey is going to be like, sometimes delaying for great lengths of time, and deny ourselves the journey at first.
But eventually, there’s comes a decision to enter the water. We feel everything in that first moment. It can almost be a bit shocking at first. But if we allow ourselves to just stand there for a bit – without running back to the shore – we get used to the water running over our toes. In time, we make many steps forward and continue the journey.
At some point, the water climbs up our calves, up our legs and even at points to our chest. We battle the current, do our best to keep our feet in contact with the rocky bed underneath us and manage keeping ourselves afloat.
Time after time we stub our toe, accidentally dunk ourselves, float a bit downstream and have to trek back up again. But we keep going. We can see the other side of the river and there’s no sense in turning back now. We must stay the course.
Eventually, we reach a point where the water begins to slow down again, it moves back down from our chest, to our waist, to our thighs, down to the calves and then as we climb the bank on the other side, we see the water trickling around our toes once again.
The end is similar to the beginning. But what has changed? You. You did what you didn’t think you could do before and the entire time you spent in the water fundamentally changed you down to your core.
You believed in something, had the courage to see it through, and now you walk up the river bank, completely out of the water, and move onwards to the next river in front of you somewhere along your path.
This is your journey.
CAPTION 31
It’s not so much about what you think. It’s more about what you “know.” What exists deep within your bones? What do you know to be true – a wisdom that cannot be taken from you?
Those whispers will guide you. They will take you in the right direction – the places you’ve always needed to go.
But if you think about it, you are already heading off path. It’s not going to make sense to your mind – it lives far outside of that.
That intuition, that wisdom, doesn’t live in the head – rather it arises from the bottom of the ocean and pops like a bubble once it reaches the surface.
Then, you just know. You know without a doubt.
It’s not always easy to trust your gut. Do things always happen the way you thought they were going to? No of course not. But it was never about that. It has always been about learning what you need in order to grow.
I think if you spend your entire life avoiding hardship you’re doing yourself a massive disservice. You are going to build a castle around yourself, and while you may feel safe temporarily, the costs and consequences begin to mount.
I know what it’s like to be in that place – the place where you want to shut yourself off from the rest of the world and go into protection mode. That can be fine for a while if you need to regroup, but you really can’t stay there.
What happens when you wall everything out to protect yourself from anything bad happening?
You contract.
You revert.
You push things away.
You lock in your most authentic self.
Life is risky.
There’s risk in everything. But if you embrace that and know that no matter what happens you’re going to find a way through, you’ll have a lot easier of a time navigating through the challenges when they come.
Stay open. Take your time. Be patient with yourself. Piece by piece open up. Doesn’t have to be all at once.
Take a step outside the walls. There’s magic in the risk.
CAPTION 32
You’re not lost. You’re finding your way. Every step, every movement, every decision and every breath is part of the path.
The ups and downs. The contractions. The expansions. It is all part of learning to find your way. It’s all part of the road you are supposed to travel.
Once you start letting go of the old ways of doing things some pretty interesting things start to happen. You come into full contact with the present moment, release yourself from the present and the future and all there is…is here.
The past seems like a collection of distant memories in a shoe box somewhere and the future just becomes a succession of “nows.”
Now. Now. Now. Now.
Brick by brick. Ripple by ripple. Intentions and decisions cascade into the unknown.
As the old stories begin to fall apart, room opens up all around you. Possibilities flood in. Adventure begins to call. Even though there is nothing, everything can be created from that place.
You’ll always be able to travel down old paths if you wish. It will bring you back to everything you’ve already known. It’s almost as if you’re in a dream state when you go back and do the things you used to do in the places you used to do them.
There you are, witnessing yourself in action almost as if you were out of your own body.
You can play around with that for a while, but you always have to come back. Dig into what’s going on right now. These are your only moments.
At times that can be a bit intimidating. I think there’s a tendency to want to doubt everything that you’re going through and question whether or not it is the way.
But that’s where faith comes in.
Faith dissolves the doubt and lights the stepping stones up in front of you.
You have the freedom to choose. You always have. But do you have the courage to trust?
See the way in front of you. Trust the wisdom guiding you. And most of all, commit to it. The heavens smile upon those who believe in their dreams.
If the heart whispers it so.
CAPTION 33
Closure is a pretty interesting thing. Sometimes we think we need closure from someone or a situation because that will be the thing that really helps us move on.
But it’s not always the case. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen someone seek out closure and it actually got worse.
The person who they went to didn’t show up in a way that would allow for any healing to happen. Sometimes the wound even gets opened back up and there’s a sense of regret for even going down that path in the first place.
They might not even know why they did something. Seriously. Or even if they told you, it might not even be the truth. It really takes a lot for someone to even admit wrongdoing to themselves let alone another person.
Not saying this always happens…but it happens more than you might think.
So that brings me to this. Closure, amongst many other things, is about coming to a deep acceptance of what happened and taking it upon yourself to truly – 100% – decide what happens next in your story.
It’s not about denial. It’s not about living in la-la land. It’s not about tolerating that behavior. It’s about an understanding that you’re here now – the good and the bad – and you are the only one that can take it upon yourself to make choices going forward.
Blame, judgement, anger, hatred etc are all human emotions and they are completely okay to experience as long as you’re not pointing them inward at yourself or outward at someone else.
Feel it. It’s part of being human. But what you decide to do with those emotions and how you act is on you. You can choose to continue cycles of pain or begin cycles of healing.
Not saying it’s going to be easy. This is NOT easy. But, it’s worth it. And if you want to exit lands of trauma – whether they were someone else’s fault or not – going through all of this is required.
A challenging path…but a worthwhile one.
Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Tell me your story of what you’re working through.
CAPTION 34
You’re going to meet people who will change your life forever. Some are there for years, a few for a lifetime and many for what seems like just a flash.
But everyone changes you in some way.
They are all pieces of who you are and who you will become. Then, there are the rarest of few, who stick with you no matter what you’re going through in life.
The ups. The downs. Everything in between. They just show up over and over and over again. And because they do, those relationships continue to grow and deepen.
When you let go of the idea that you fully “know” someone, you give yourself the opportunity to learn about them each and every day.
Because honestly, even if you did spend endless hours with someone you care about, it’s nothing in comparison to every moment they spend with themself.
There are countless stories, moments, thoughts, emotions, dreams, fears that you don’t know about or they never even thought to voice them.
I’ve always viewed people as icebergs. What you see is just the expression of the entire thing. It’s not even remotely close to all that’s there.
That doesn’t have to be something that’s scary. We are all mixtures of darkness and light (no matter how much we don’t want to admit that at times). But that doesn’t make you a bad human being. It makes you just that – a human.
Stay open to “the more.” See what’s there. Continue to nurture the relationships around you and the right ones will grow immeasurably.
It’s a beautiful thing.
If you have someone in your life that’s this for you, tag them. I’m sure they’ll love it.
CAPTION 35
This one takes faith. You can look into the outside world and find a million reasons as to why you think this is untrue. The mind can jump in and start comparing and contrasting against everything that you see.
But it’s forgotten one very very important thing – nothing you’re comparing yourself against is traveling the path you are on and meant to travel.
It’s your journey. No one else is on it but you. So knowing that, it’s time to start turning back within.
It’s time to start looking at who you really are, the light within your soul, the gifts you have been given and listening to the whispers in your heart telling you which way to go next.
When you ignore the inner work, you will be lost forever.
Wandering. Floating. Miserable with all the time you spend looking outside of yourself.
And then when you finally make that shift to go within, you find exactly what you’ve been seeking all along.
The treasures are “here.” They are not “there.”
I started that journey nearly 10 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. Did I get lost at times and lose sight of what really mattered? You bet. Many times.
But every single time you find yourself feeling lost, all you have to do is to tell yourself to “come back.” Come back to who you really are. Come back to what matters to you. Come back to seeing your feet hit the ground again and understand the importance of your own path.
You are far far more than you give yourself credit for. Sometimes we just forget that. Turn back within. You’ll see it.
CAPTION 36
The decision to face your deepest of fears is amongst the most courageous choices you can possibly make and yet presents the most challenging of circumstances.
On one hand, the monumental will it takes to finally turn and face the darkness is to be celebrated in of itself.
But the journey doesn’t end there. That’s only where it begins. What comes after that moment is where each of us are truly defined in our ability to light a once opaque path – holding onto our faith as much as possible – and move through whatever comes our way.
The bog of failures and missteps will be endless. Fear, doubt and worry will rush in at any possible chance. The temptations will try to tear you off course. And yet, if you stay true to your cause, you will have your victory.
I believe that the journey begins once you decide in your heart that you’re actually going to do it. From that point on, you are on the path.
You may spend days, months, or even years trying to make any sort of noticeable progress. You may feel like you haven’t achieved anything much at all. But the truth is, you’re still on the path.
You made the hardest decision of them all and that counts for something. That counts for a lot. Don’t ever forget that. If you can find it within you to recognize that the only way to lose is to quit completely, then somewhere along the line you will find the courage to begin again.
As much as it might not feel like it at times, even the long pauses between efforts still count. While you may not like how long it took you to regroup and build up the courage to make another attempt, it’s still a worthwhile piece of the journey.
There’s a lot of wisdom that lives there. In fact, there’s a lot of wisdom in the whole thing no matter the current circumstances.
More than anything, never let failure stand and have the last laugh. Always come back to try again and to refuse to let something end on a bad note. Make it right within yourself.
Whatever it takes. Redemption at its finest.
CAPTION 37
It’s been an interesting couple of years to say the least. There have been many many challenges across the board (too many to list) and even more changes. But I want to talk about what’s written above more than anything because I think that’s the most important part of it all.
Acceptance is a very interesting word.
As time as gone on, I’ve really understood acceptance to be many different things. Ownership. Responsibility. Alignment. Mobility. There are many other words I would use alongside it.
But most of all, I’ve viewed acceptance as a deep embracing of things as they are. I also know what acceptance isn’t. It isn’t what I thought life should be.
That gap can be very difficult to traverse sometimes. There’s an incredible amount of friction that’s created when the mind is at war with how things actually are. It fights it in all sorts of ways and pain seems to compound.
It’s even more at work when something significant happens “to you.” This “shouldn’t” have happened. This “should” have happened instead. Lots of whys and what if’s also seem to come with it.
But the fact of the matter is…it did happen. It happened exactly the way it did. It didn’t happen any other way. It happened that way. And maybe coming to that realization isn’t the easiest pill to swallow. But here’s what I can tell you after witnessing some of the bravest people I know truly own this…
What comes from this type of ownership is courage, bravery, responsibility, integrity, and eventually joy.
Watching someone take the most difficult situations of their life, removing all of the judgement, shame, and betrayal, applying a whole lot of understanding, love and compassion is one of the most special things I get to be a part of on the daily.
And honestly, being a part of that and helping facilitate it gives me more courage to continue to dig into my own story that I could ever imagine.
You can’t change what happened. But you can choose what happens next.
I hope that gives you courage.
CAPTION 38
There’s an old saying that goes, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
So with the seeds that you have in your hands, plant your intentions.
Be careful of getting lost in the past thinking about all of the things that could have been. It’s an endless abyss that’s incredibly hard to disconnect from. Very quickly those stories can turn dark on you if you’re not mindful.
Be careful of getting stuck in the future. You can get equally as lost in the land of possibility as in the memories from the past. It’s okay to imagine where you want to go and dream about who you want to be. But you must always come back.
Come back to being right…here.
Think about what you want to create in the moments in front of you. Because truly, those are the only ones you have.
They are the stepping stones to the future.
They are the seeds that mend the past.
You’ve heard it over and over again – be in the now. Reel your mind back in. Take a deep breath. Trace it moving through you. Breathe again and again.
You are here.
CAPTION 39
I’ll never forget one of the lessons my teacher shared with our class the last day of coaching school. He said, “You want to know what 10 years of studying with monks really taught me?”
Of course were are all interested. Who wouldn’t be? Everyone responded back with a resounding “yes!”
“Life’s hard enough. Don’t make it worse.”
Learning to love the things that come across your path is a challenging task to say the least. Life’s not all sprinkles and rainbows. There are really tragic and difficult situations that face just about everyone and they strain the soul.
You don’t have to like what happened. Shoot I don’t even blame you at all if you have the desire to hate it. I can understand that. I feel for you.
But what consequences does holding all of that in you have as that moment has passed along? Remember, life’s hard enough…don’t make it worse.
Meeting your challenges with a sense of love, understanding, compassion and empathy is not decision that happens once and then you’re done and everything is all good.
It’s an endless process. You’re going to sink back into your negative feelings from time to time. That’s okay. Come back to your intentions and work through it again.
But the greatest project of all is meeting yourself with that same amount of grace (maybe even more). Learning to love yourself. Learning to carve out space for who you really are.
That’s the good stuff. That’s when you’re really growing.
Meet yourself on deeper planes and you will find that you can hold space for others as well. The work you do within will reflect outwardly…and visa versa.
When in doubt, apply more love. When really in doubt, apply even more.
CAPTION 40
It’s funny how that works. Spending so much time seeking answers for things you already know the truth to deep down. It’s not about finding it “outside.” It’s about plugging back in and reconnecting to your intuition.
That voice that “just knows.”
When you make that turn within, you will hear a gentle but powerful whisper directing you towards the path that will help you become all you are meant to be.
There, lives ancient wisdom. Older and wiser than you could possibly imagine. All caring. All loving. All knowing. And your greatest task is to trust that voice that comes from within and to follow all the way through to the end.
Quiet your mind and listen. You’ll know you’re “there” when you can feel it in your bones but find it difficult to put to words. That’s because your answer is not it a thought. It’s something far deeper than that. It’s a “knowing.”
While there are endless choices, paths and options in front of you, don’t be afraid of the one that has the most heart in it.
It may be the toughest choice. It might be the one that you know deep down will challenge you to your core. You might deny the calling time and time again because you are scared of what it’s asking of you.
But in the end, no matter how far you may wander, you will always come back to what you already know.
The path. The call. The adventure.
Every step you take is part of the journey. There’s no steps backwards. You don’t start all over again. The path unfolds right before your eyes with each step you choose to take.
Take those steps with love. Keep your heart open. Always rise to the higher version of yourself even though it may be the hardest thing at times to do. Let go of what’s happened in the past because it’s already long gone. Free yourself from always looking away…and just be here.
It’s all you have. It’s all you ever had. Step by step. Breathe by breathe. Here. Here. Here.
Home.
CAPTION 41
It’s interesting that as you continue on your path, you learn that it’s far more about letting go than adding on. It’s about dissolving stories, habits, patterns, rituals, relationships that don’t serve you.
The result ends up being a new sense of joy and peace coming into your life. The more and more you let go of the more space you create for things you actually want to be there.
My mentor once told me that there are two really simple but significant rules on growth and development. One, continue doing what you’ve been doing well. Two, stop doing what hasn’t been going so well.
I laughed when I heard it. Not because I thought it was a joke but because of how sophisticated that simple truth really is.
So I can pass that along to you at the beginning of this new year. Look at what you’re doing well and take note of it. Look at what hasn’t been going so well or what’s been holding you back and begin to wind it down.
If you can take what you have in your life as it stands right now and modify it in ways that really serve you you’re going to grow like crazy.
It’s always about adding on things that are “outside” of yourself. It can be about embracing who you are already and improving up on that.
Little by little. Piece by piece. Decision by decision. That’s how you bloom.
CAPTION 42
Through all of the twists and turns, ups and downs, victories and defeats…you have arrived, here, at this very moment. But what you tell yourself, about yourself, matters more than anything. Your entire future depends on that story.
Coming to a place of acceptance isn’t always the easiest of things. There are situations and events that are often incredibly difficult to deal with and even harder to let go of. Resentment, more than anything, has a very seductive quality to it. While you get to be “right” about something and wage a moral crusade, it often has a serious side effect of the negative elements of the past sticking to you like molasses.
It takes courage to arrive to a place of taking responsibility for what happens next in your life. It’s not to say others weren’t responsible for what they chose to do. They are. But to own the fact that this is your life and that you’re the only one that can decide how you are going to move forward is incredibly empowering.
Self-love isn’t about epsom salt baths, wine and candles (although, hey, those are niceee). It goes far deeper than that…all the way down to the core of how you treat yourself.
Do you speak to yourself with love and respect? Or do you rip yourself apart any chance you get? As I talked about yesterday, this story of negativity or positivity determines how your life looks and unfolds.
When you can embrace who you are, flaws and all, and learn from your mistakes without destroying your own sense of worth…you engage in the greatest act of self-love there is. You are refusing to let the darker seeds to plant themselves in your mind, heart and soul and are instead cultivating light.
It’s the purest act of defiance in a world that’s constantly telling you that you aren’t good enough. Continue to stand up for yourself. Watch the conversation that’s going on in your head. Uproot any weeds that have taken up lodging and sit in your wisdom.
This is the path of learning to love who you are.
CAPTION 43
“Take your oars out of the water and enjoy life a bit.” I’ll never forget that piece of advice. I had always been striving to get to this place where it “all works out” that I completely forgot to be enjoying where I was.
Stopping the rowing to that island can be pretty challenging. All these different things start running through your mind…
Fear
Doubt
Worry.
Anxiety.
Panic.
But if I let go trying to control everything I might not end up where I want to be! Sure, but you might actually end up where you need to be. There’s a big difference there.
It takes a lot of faith to just let go. But when you do, you recognize that the current of your life is heading in the right direction. Takes trust, sure. But if you can have faith in your intentions and know that what you put out will come back to you, you’ll arrive. It will happen.
You’re never quite “there” because there’s no such thing. The layers unfold like onions endlessly. Every new layer brings new fears to work through. New commitments to make. New acts of courage.
And once you work through that one, you’re onto the next. If you can embrace this process for what it is – endless unfolding – and you take good care of yourself while you’re doing it, you can enjoy the next ring of the tree when it comes.
Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up.
Really when you get to the roots of it, it’s about faith and trust. It’s about letting go of your grip on life. It’s about floating in the water, enjoying the weather and allowing the connection with life as it is to flow right through you.
Nothing to change. Nothing to grip onto.
Just…being.
CAPTION 44
It has to go both ways. Relationships should be relationships…not transactions.
So if all they are doing is taking, taking, taking…it’s time to communicate. Speak up. Tell them how you feel. Tell them what you think needs to be done in order to grow the relationship. Give them the chance to make some changes.
And if they don’t, it’s time for them to go.
Strong healthy boundaries are about communicating from a place of wisdom and establishing lines in the sand that protect everyone. Most of all, you have to make sure you are looking after yourself. If you aren’t your biggest advocate, who will be?
This is about honoring and respecting who you are. It’s not about holding anger, resentment, grudges or bitterness. It’s about making sure that the environment you’re in is a healthy place for you to expand and unfold.
Relationships are beautiful. Having people in your life who bring in joy, love you like crazy and can support you when you’ve fallen is one of the best gifts of all.
But you have to cultivate that. That garden doesn’t just show up randomly and grow itself. It’s created intentionally. It’s nurtured with purpose.
Look after yourself. Make sure you’re surrounded with people who bring out the best in you. Continue to cultivate those relationships day in and day out and watch your life bloom.
That’s what it’s all about.
CAPTION 45
“You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” I’ll never forget the first time I heard that. It struck me because it’s so true. How can you see yourself…when you are yourself.
The blindspots will always be there. You’ll wander down paths that for one reason or another you think are good for you but then when you look back on it years down the road you’ll see where you went a bit off course. This is where you learn. Toss out all the judgement and look with eyes of wisdom.
What does all this tell me?
What can I pull from this?
How has this shaped me into something far wiser?
How do I course correct from this place?
When you look at these things deeply, you’ll see them in a whole new light. That’s the gift. Perspective. Wisdom.
Here’s something I always want you to keep in mind: the journey isn’t a straight line. It’s not even a squiggly one. That would imply there’s a start and an end. Instead, it’s a constant unfolding. Think of a lotus flower that opens layer after layer after layer after layer. Unending…for infinite amounts of time.
There’s always more to learn. Sometimes the same lessons come back around with a slight variety and you learn them all over again in a far deeper way. Sometimes, you are going to be “tested” to make sure you maintain your resolve with something you promised long ago.
And here’s where faith comes in. Being able to trust in something greater than yourself – whatever it is that you believe in – grants you unbelievable amounts of strength. You can, and you always have been able to, handle whatever is thrown your way.
Forget understanding “why?!”‘ it all is happening. Instead, dig your heels into the ground and move forward with courage. No matter how far you may have wandered off your path, you can always come back to what your heart knows to be true. That’s always available to you.
All it takes is connecting with your breath…slowing down the mind…and returning to a far deeper and wiser version that has always known which way to go.
CAPTION 46
I have been in deep conversations with my maker. For weeks I wandered in the mountains asking questions and searching within.
The answers arrived in their intuitively packaged forms, the doors opened once they were knocked upon and the paths illuminated before me. And that word came back again and again…
Trust.
There’s this moment in The Matrix when Morpheus looks at Neo and says, “There’s a difference between knowing the path…and walking the path.”
Finding the answers is a victory in of itself. Sometimes it can take your entire lifetime to find the ones you have been looking for. But an entirely new challenge arrives when you start to actually walk the path you know you have to travel.
Joseph Campbell didn’t call it “The Heroes Journey” by accident.
He knew better than anyone else that when you begin to answer the call, that’s where the greatest victories and defeats begin their outpouring.
And it’s true. The endless failures you may have to endure in order to become who you are truly meant to be. That’s where I have been. That’s why I’ve been silencing everything around me and just listening to that guiding voice.
“Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.”
I have put to rest that seething voice of the dark wolf that has kept me in the harbor for so long. It looked at the past constantly and trapped me with judgement as thick as molasses.
But with trust, faith, and courage I’m free. There is and always will be fear in this heart. But there’s great courage as well.
And it’s still true, the most beautiful thing about life is that you can start all over again and be everything you were always meant to be.
CAPTION 47
Dream. Dream as big as you can. Dream as if there were no limits. When you find your dream, give yourself the chance to dream even bigger.
No matter what you do, the world will tell you it’s impossible, improbable, impractical and everything else in between. But if you believe in what you’re doing, and it’s done with a good heart, you must make it come to a reality.
Why?
Because you can.
And because you can, you must.
You are the only one who sees what you see. The dream is completely unique to you and it lives and dies with you. So while you are here on this planet, give it one hell of a run for its money.⠀
⠀
One of my favorite quotes of all time is by a Nike advertisement and it goes something like this, “All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you’re not good enough or strong enough or talented enough. They’ll say you’re the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. They will tell you no, a thousand times no until all the no’s become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly. They will tell you no. And you will tell them yes.”⠀
⠀
Step into what you’re afraid to do. It’s going to help you grow. It’s going to give you a path to becoming more. That’s why you’re really here in the first place – to discover who you were always meant to be.
That path is a long one and it doesn’t happen overnight. It’s easy to get discouraged at times. In fact, with all of the things that happen in life, it can be really easy to lose your way completely. ⠀
⠀
But I want you to always tell yourself this when you are lost. “Come back.” Come back to who you know you are. Come back to the beat within your chest guiding the way. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been lost.
Come back. Come back. Come back.
CAPTION 48
When the lessons finally arrive, all you can really do is embrace the. Accept them as they are. They are messengers from an unfinished past. And if you can hold them, you’ll learn. My oh my you’ll learn.
You were never meant to be perfect. This life you’re navigating through is messy and complicated just as you are. And that’s exactly how it’s meant to be. Balanced.
So you can let go of trying to be anything but what you are. There will be things along the way you discover that you want to work on and begin to shift. But you make those choices from a place of love and not judgement.
You decide to change because you want to. Not because you thought you had to. The soul makes that choice. It chooses out of what best serves you and will help you grow into more and more of who you are.
What’s always given my mind a bit of a bend is thinking about how maybe we aren’t creating ourselves minute by minute, but uncovering something that was there so long ago we never even really knew it existed…
Because it seems to me, all these years later, I’m learning to let go of more and more and even though that can be a bit scary at times, all that shows up on the other side is joy.
Layer by layer the mud comes off and you’re left with just, you. You as you really are. You as you were always meant to be.
Embrace the messiness of it all. Endless color rather than a world of grays. Complicated. Mysterious. Just as it should be.
CAPTION 49
When it’s time, you’ll know. You’ll feel it in your bones. It will be like you’ve known it all along. When that moment comes, the feeling is unmistakable.
The mind is constantly trying to figure out where or where.
Release that.
Let it go.
Trust yourself.
Faith is a very personal conversation for pretty much everyone. As the years have gone on, I’ve had some significant events happen to me where I first completely lost my faith but then it came roaring back. It was hard to deny what I saw and experience. Those stories are for another day.
But what I was left with was this – no matter how dark things may get, you can never forget that you are a light. I think we forget that at times. We look to find something outside of ourselves, but forget to look within.
You are so much more than you ever give yourself credit for. I know there are times where it’s easy to forget that. It can feel that life gives out beatings. I’ve been there I don’t know how many times. But you are far more than the things that have happened to you and the difficulties that come your way.
You’re beautiful…and I don’t want you to ever forget that.
Faith teaches you to trust in something far deeper than what you mind can see. It reaches into the depth of your soul and helps you come into contact that you may never have felt before.
That’s why I said you’ll feel it in your bones.
Because that’s the only way to describe intuition. It runs deeper than all the oceans. It’s at your core. It’s a knowing without “knowing.”
It’s your guide.
Trust it. Follow it. It only has your best interests in mind and would never hurt you. It may take time to tune in and really hear it, but it’s effort well spent.
You’ll know.
You already do.
CAPTION 50
I hope you find the courage to live as you truly are. Let go of the fears, doubts, worries and judgements from the outside world and what they make think. This is about you and your journey of truth, love, compassion and wisdom.
My teacher told me something a few years ago that I haven’t forgotten and remind people in my life of from time to time when they really need it. In fact, it has been one of the most profound lessons I’ve ever learned and I will pass it along to you today.
She said, “You must remember the hierarchy. First, there is The Higher. What you believe in. It is the most important part of the hierarchy. Then, there is The Higher and your relationship with it. Then, it’s The Higher, you, and then everyone else.”
“The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is between you and what you believe in. At the end of the day, you have to make sure that’s solid. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about anyone else. It just means that you come to your decisions about life in a conversation between you and above.”
The outside world shifts and changes at will. If you let it dictate your self worth and how much you love who you are, you will be in for one very bumpy ride. One day people like this thing, the next day they hate it and move onto the other thing.
Don’t allow the health of your soul to be subjected to opinions, judgements and criticisms that are literally worth nothing.
You are here to learn who you truly are. Create a safe space of vulnerability with you and yourself as you’re learning. Remove all judgement. Silence the critic within.
And when you have questions, do not seek outside of yourself. Turn within and seek the relationship you have with what you believe in. It will never abandon you. It will always guide you upon the path you are meant to travel.
Go out there and shine.
CAPTION 51
When you turn within, you will hear a gentle whisper directing you towards the path that will help you become all you are meant to be. There, lives ancient wisdom. Older and wiser than you could possibly imagine.
All caring.
All loving.
All knowing.
And your greatest task is to trust that voice that comes from within and to follow all the way through to the end.
Quiet your mind and listen to what you know.
You’ll know you’re “there” when you can feel it in your bones but find it difficult to put to words. That’s because your answer is not it a thought. It’s something far deeper than that. It’s a “knowing.”
While there are endless choices, paths and options in front of you, don’t be afraid of the one that has the most heart in it.
It may be the toughest choice. It might be the one that you know deep down will challenge you to your core. You might deny the calling time and time again because you are scared of what it’s asking of you.
But in the end, no matter how far you may wander, you will always come back to what you already know. The path. The call. The adventure.
Every step you take is part of the journey. There’s no steps backwards. You don’t start all over again. The path unfolds right before your eyes with each step you choose to take.
Take those steps with love. Keep your heart open. Always rise to the higher version of yourself even though it may be the hardest thing at times to do. Let go of what’s happened in the past because it’s already long gone. Free yourself from always looking away…and just be here.
It’s all you have. It’s all you ever had. Step by step. Breathe by breathe. Here. Here. Here.
Home.
CAPTION 52
It’s pretty easy to feel like you’re losing yourself in this world.
There’s a thousand things pulling you in every direction trying to tell you who you should be.
Everyone is seeking attention in one way or another but forgetting to give each other love.
All of this can lead to this feeling of emptiness inside.
Feeling like you’re “doing it wrong” or need to change who you are for some unknown reason.”
But it’s never been about conforming to what everyone else is doing. That comes and goes.
It’s about discovering who you really are and peeling back the layers of the onion day after day.
You’ll find some things that you need to work on.
You’ll discover some things that you really love that you didn’t know were there.
But you have to stay true to yourself and continue discovering no matter what.
Every day, I hope you become more and more of what makes you – you.
I wrote that because I want you to remind you of where most of your focus needs to be in this wild world.
You’re never done.
There’s no “there” to get to.
But that’s the point.
That’s the beautiful part of the journey.
It’s just layer after layer after layer and it never ends.
If you feel stuck right now, understand that will also pass and you have so much more left to see and become.
So stay wide open.
Learn about yourself day after day.
Put yourself into the mindset that life is a great mystery and you’re here to explore it – one of the biggest mysteries being yourself.
And when you do inevitably discover some cool stuff, celebrate it.
Life’s too hard to not have some fun and feel joy in its deepest form.
Keep on unfolding.
CAPTION 53
The best people are the ones that stay. Everything is always changing. Things are always coming and going and we don’t really have much control over the point in time the path runs out. It just suddenly arrives and we can only see that when it’s here.
But then there are the rare and special few who ride with you all the way until the end. Who make you a better version of yourself, help you regain faith in who you are when you feel lost and who stand with you when you are going through hell and high water.
They’re just different. To feel like someone has “got you” no matter what happens is one of the best feelings in the world. Because no matter how much you may think it at times, we can’t go through this life alone. The support and love of others is a critical part to our growth and development. It helps us arrive to who we are meant to be.
Have faith that whatever has come into your life is for you and whatever has left wasn’t meant to be. You can let go of the past, bring yourself back from the future and just be here. Here with what’s here for you. Deeply connected to it. Grateful for what you have. That’s when the joy comes out.
And at the same time, all of this is not an excuse to be in denial about unfinished business you need to take care of with someone. I see that all the time as well. If your integrity is out of alignment, don’t just “let someone go” and pass it off as something spiritual. It’s not. You’re just using a concept to serve your agenda. And you’ll know this is the case when there’s a festering soul splinter that just refuses to go away as time goes on. Do the work. Fix what you need to.
If you have these people in your life, tell them that you love them. Let them know. They are gifts, guides and mentors.
Diamonds in the rough.
CAPTION 54
When I was little, my parents dragged me kicking, crying and screaming to baseball tryouts. I was so afraid of going to do something new that I threw a legendary fit. They used to tell me that when I would get incredibly mad, you could see my beet red head through my platinum blonde hair.
And when I finally got there, I fell in love immediately. Isn’t that something…that the very thing I resisted the most ended up being one of the great passions of my life. Every ounce of my heart ended up going into what was once my greatest fear.
This year has been many things for me. But more than anything, I have realized I’m having another “being dragged to tryouts” moment, but instead of it being my parents, it’s my intuition dragging me.
I spent most of my life seeking answers to problems that no one seemed to have solutions for. The lack of answers at moments made me feel hopeless and broken inside. And that’s just the truth. For those who have had something taken away from them, something rooted deeply within their soul, they know a type of pain that others might not.
It’s easy for darkness, fear, hopelessness and despondence to take root within you and begin to overrun your joy.
And yet, while I might be incredibly stubborn, I have also been gifted with relentless amounts of grit. Sometimes, they battle against each other…but the search for answers continued no matter how many “No’s” I received.
It’s almost as I didn’t quite believe I had come across a “Yes” when it finally came from the most unexpected of places. I wasn’t ready for it. I discovered I wasn’t quite ready to let go of who I was in the sea of “no” because that’s what most of my life was defined by.
I was given what I needed. The answer laid on the table in front of me for well over a year. I tried to pick it up but I kept putting it back down. I was scared. The kid all over again being driven to tryouts. Refusing to surrender.
And here I am again. But different now. I know I have to surrender through and through. To let go…the message that’s echoed within my soul for eons. And I will.
Surrender. Let go. Batter up.
CAPTION 55
You must reveal what’s inside. That’s what I’ve always come back to time and time again. The more vulnerable you are – sitting in truth – the deeper your connection grows with life. The more you see yourself as you actually are.
Everything else just falls away.
This has been true in my life time and time again. And hey, even though things don’t always go right and you get burned while cooking in the kitchen sometimes, you really do always come back to cook again. There’s something about being on the field willing to try something new. I guess you could call that hope.
Open yourself up…even if it’s slowly.
It’s not that you can’t keep everything locked up. Of course you could. But when you start to let yourself be seen, the world changes in front of you. More importantly, you change.
As much as others get to see you, you also get to see yourself.
Everything on the outside often acts as a mirror to what’s going on in the inside. A reflection. I know life can be tough. Things happen that really can bring you down to your knees. But you are so much more than what’s happened to you.
I really need you to understand this.
You are more…than what’s happened to you. There’s so much light. So many talents. So many dreams. So many good qualities.
It’s just that sometimes the events in life can make you feel like you’re covered in mud. You forgot who you are because you couldn’t see it past what happened. But that doesn’t mean you lost it. It just means you have to uncover what’s been hiding underneath this entire time.
I know it can be scary to show yourself as you truly are.
But my god that’s brave. To be yourself. To refuse to fit in just out of comfort. Everything that’s unique and special about you suffers in that place. Squished between the walls of what’s acceptable.
So be you. Reveal it all. Defeat your demons and conquer those mountains. Leave a blazing trail of light behind you.
CAPTION 56
…and that’s where it all happens. It all starts to unfold once you answer the call that’s been ringing for so long. Maybe you were scared of the journey in front of you so you delayed for as long as you could. But honestly, who hasn’t?
Who hasn’t denied themselves from moving forward because of fear? Who hasn’t limited themselves because of events that happened in the past?
Surely everyone has.
But you don’t have to stay there. You don’t have to allow the events that have unfolded in the past to control the decisions that you make right now. You can see them in a new light. You can begin to heal those old wounds.
And eventually, you can gather up the courage to try again. When you do, that’s when the magic happens. That’s when you grow. That’s when you develop. That’s when you start making movement towards the place you’re truly meant to be.
It takes embracing risk. That’s the secret sauce.
If you focus on the chance that things may not work out, you’ll never move. You’ll never change. You’ll never see what you have the capacity to see.
If you focus on your reasons why you’re doing it – your intentions – then you’ll start making those meaningful steps along your journey.
Can you ever really know what’s going to happen as you head in a new direction? No. No one really can predict the future. But that voice deep within you knows it’s good for you. It knows that there’s heart in the path and that’s all that really matters.
So take the risk. Put your heart on the line. It’s worth it.
CAPTION 57
Every step you’ve ever taken, the tragedies and victories you’ve experienced, the mistakes, the wins and losses, the courageous moves and wanderings through the unknown, have all brought you here.
Here being this moment, as your eyes hit these words. Present. Pure. A endless amount of possibility. And in this brief moment we have together, I want you to remember something you’ve always known but at some point may have forgotten.
What you’ve been seeking for so long is not out “there” in the world. It inside of you. You’ve been searching for something you’ve already had. That’s why you could never find it. You’ve been looking for your keys and they have been in your pocket the entire time.
And you’ll hear many say that your journey here is to remember who you really are. What that means is that you have to come back to the core of your being. To get there, you have to wash off all the stories that have covered up that essence like thick mud.
The past is gone. It’s done. And the only way you’re ever going to be able to move on from what’s happened in the past is if you view if through the eyes of wisdom, compassion and understanding. If there’s judgement, you’re tethered to whatever moment you’re judging.
Seek out those moments you can’t let go of. See how you are viewing them. Is there anger, bitterness, resentment, judgement or criticism? It’s okay if there is. But recognize that all of those emotions keep you trapped. Begin to view those events through a different set of eyes.
The eyes of healing, understanding, love, acceptance. You’re not dismissing what actually happened or what they did. Those healthy boundaries are good. But you are saying to yourself, “It’s time for me to get my life back. To own this story so I can have all the power I need to move into the future the way I want to.”
That’s what this is all about. Embracing the story. The dark and the light. When you do that, everything changes. You grab the keys in your pocket and see that the doors open when you realized you had what you needed all along.
This moment is yours.
CAPTION 58
Because reaching it isn’t the point. It’s never been the point. As you grow, become wiser, learn, deepen, expand…that version that you see, it will always just be beyond your reach.
And what a gift that is. That you can always have something to move towards. To learn from. To grow with. As you become that version, you end up so much farther along than you ever could have imagined. Then, it moves again, and again, and again.
We are all human (news flash). With that, come deficiencies, mistakes, old patterns, bad habits, flaws and the rest of the works. Embrace them but then get to work. Forget all the judgement that serves absolutely no purpose. Rather, see them for what they are and start making the shifts you need to make.
You’re bound to repeat the past if you fail to see it for what it truly is. How you interpret those events is fully up to you. You can deny it if you want to. But as the old saying goes, “You can deny reality, but you can’t deny the consequences of denying reality.”
Keep on going after it. You will fall. You will sit in the mud from time to time. You might even just lay there not wanting to get back up because life has been exhausting. I understand that fully. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been there myself.
But deep within you is a sense of resilience that always helps you get back up again. It’s worth going after that version of yourself that you can see just around the bend. It’s a challenge, but it’s worth it.
I can promise you that.
CAPTION 59
And the only way to receive what’s meant to be is to let go of what once was…
We are taught all our lives to hold on. Most of the time it’s out of fear. Fear of loss. Fear of the future. Fear of the unknown. But when you hold onto things that are no longer for you, you prevent the things that are actually supposed to show up from arriving. You stop yourself from receiving the gifts of life and traveling the path you were always meant to take.
The things in the past are gone. Their time came and went. They’ve drifted off into the ether. You can’t go back and change them. You can’t redo them. Those moments cannot be touched. All there is left is a memory. So embracing that reality is the key to looking forward.
It’s not about denial. It’s about acknowledgement. It’s not about hating the past (no matter what has happened). It’s about understanding and healing.
And then you are left with what’s happening right now…this moment…and what you do in this moment determines the story that exists in the future.
It’s hard to let go. I know. It’s one of the greatest lessons I keep learning over and over again. But when you do, there’s so much room for possibility. You are free to create. Free to be. Free to choose. Free to write the story in any way you see fit.
The most important part of all of this is that you can’t let the pains of the past prevent you from getting back out there in the world and trying your best again. You’re going to get hurt form time to time. It’s inevitable. That’s part of living. But refusing to play at all because you’re scared delivers the greatest pain of all – regret.
You have to be willing to lose…in order to win. In everything. You only learn and grow when you put your heart on the line. It’s not the end of the world if you lose. It’s just a moment in time. Get back out there and try again. Give it your all. Learn from the past and move forward with a deeper wisdom.
You can do this.
CAPTION 60
Life in its endless twists and turns brought you to this place – one that is uniquely fitted to who you are – with an opportunity to wipe the slate clean and to right so many wrongs that still call within your soul.
There are things that happen in life that you would never ask for. You didn’t manifest them. You didn’t claim them for yourself. They came in out of nowhere and impacted your life on so many levels.
And yet begin to understand the value that those moments bring. Even through the darkest of nights you can learn compassion, understanding, wisdom, trust and so many other valuable things.
The price is heavy, but it’s worth it.
But it goes beyond the experiences you have. Somewhere, deep inside, you probably still know that there has to be a change down to the foundational level of who you are.
And this is why you’ve arrived to where you are. Life has brought you to this place where you can radically shift and completely realign yourself to your greatest purpose.
It’s a chance to finally rip down the old structures and start building once again on solid ground. It can be anxiety inducing. Fear will rear its ugly head at times. But this is the work you are here to do. Don’t be afraid to take those steps.
There’s this one scene in Indiana Jones that always resonated with me where he has to cross over an “invisible bridge” purely based on faith that something would be there to support him.
And yet, when he finally makes that leap, there is in fact something there that he didn’t expect. He had to move through his fears and step out unknown without a guarantee of certainty.
These moments in front of you are the very moments in which you can begin to walk upon a completely new path if you so choose.
You are standing at the banks of your greatest challenge and yet most incredible opportunity. Everything that has ever happened has led you here. While that can be a bit intimidating, it’s also incredibly exciting.
Because deep down, if you really listen, your gut knows you can change everything. It knows this is the place where you build something new out of faith.
And that this is your finest hour.
Own it.
CAPTION 61
“Tell me about this plant here.” I looked at my teacher confused. I had no idea what this had to do with anything or how it was going to help me fix my problems. But…I played along.
Well, there’s the roots, the stem, the leaves and the flowers. I don’t know what you’re really getting at here and I definitely don’t how this going to help me?
She looked at me with a smile on her face and said, “Good. Now, can you stand over that flower and yell at it to make it grow faster?”
Damn. I knew exactly what she was getting at. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had fallen into the trap of always trying to get “there, there, there.” You know, make it to that island where it all turns out. The one that will make you happy when you finally get there.
I looked at her and smiled. She knew I got it. I then looked at the plant, nodded, and went back to my desk with a far better sense of what I had to do. I needed to be “here.” I had to pull my mind back from always trying to get to this imaginary island that you really can’t ever get to when you see it for what it is.
It can be pretty hard to trust the process and the unfolding of things. It can be even harder to be patient enough to see something through all the way to the end. But I can promise you this…
If you allow yourself to connect with the journey you are on, embrace the moments in front of you and continue to learn about who you really are, the things that are meant for you will arrive.
I can’t tell you when. I can’t tell you how. But what I do know is that if you stay open to the possibilities of life and accept the fact that this truly is all a great mystery
you’ll go on one amazing ride.
You can’t yell at a flower to make it grow faster. You can only nurture it, love it, support it and embrace where it’s at during the natural course of things. Align yourself with where you’re truly at on your journey. Enjoy where you are. Of course there’s still room to grow. You’ll be doing that for the rest of your life. But when you can be “here” and truly connect with these moments, you’ll find the peace you’ve always been looking for.
Onward.
CAPTION 62
Find somewhere to escape. Lose yourself deep within the mountains and let the forest wrap its arms around you. Sit. Breathe. Put your hands upon the earth. Settle the mind. And just…listen.
Let silence be your guide. Patiently wait. Witness it all. After a while, something will arrive like a bubble arising from the bottom of the ocean floor. It will hit you all at once and you will just “know.”
You’ll know exactly what you need to do and where you need to be. The answers to the questions arrived without trying to muscle through it. It just showed up – effortlessly – as if you knew it all along.
My teacher once told me, “Once you stop thinking so much there wont be anything you do not know.” That has been the truth through and through. Even if I had lost myself along a path that didn’t serve me, I came back to what I already knew deep down.
You have to end your war with life. You have to let go of what you think you know in order to begin to discover all that exists for you to tap into. Once you open yourself up to the great mystery of it all, you start to learn from the greatest teacher of all.
It’s easy to find yourself lost in the complexity of everything. The farther and farther you zoom in the more and more complicated it becomes. It can be so overwhelming to the point that you just want to throw your hands up in the air and give up.
But while things can be so complex, they can also be so impossibly simple. When you sit back and let go and detach from it all, the answer you seek was there all along.
That’s half of the battle. The other half is trusting the message. I have in many moment been an expert in getting in my own way. I’ve distrusted the messages that I inherently knew were right and eventually came crawling back to what I knew I had to do in the first place.
But there’s value in these experiences. Although they are tough lessons to learn, after enough times of going through the wringer you discover just how important it is to trust your intuition.
Don’t be afraid to walk the path. The deepest wisest version of you will never lead you astray.
All you have to do is trust it.
CAPTION 63
The only way to receive what’s meant to be is to let go of what once was…
We are taught all our lives to hold on. Most of the time it’s out of fear.
Fear of loss.
Fear of the future.
Fear of the unknown.
But when you hold onto things that are no longer for you, you prevent the things that are actually supposed to show up from arriving. You stop yourself from receiving the gifts of life and traveling the path you were always meant to take.
The things in the past are gone.
Their time came and went. They’ve drifted off into the ether. You can’t go back and change them. You can’t redo them. Those moments cannot be touched. All there is left is a memory. So embracing that reality is the key to looking forward.
It’s not about denial. It’s about acknowledgement. It’s not about hating the past (no matter what has happened). It’s about understanding and healing.
And then you are left with what’s happening right now…this moment…and what you do in this moment determines the story that exists in the future.
It’s hard to let go.
I know. It’s one of the greatest lessons I keep learning over and over again. But when you do, there’s so much room for possibility. You are free to create. Free to be. Free to choose. Free to write the story in any way you see fit.
The most important part of all of this is that you can’t let the pains of the past prevent you from getting back out there in the world and trying your best again. You’re going to get hurt form time to time. It’s inevitable. That’s part of living.
But refusing to play at all because you’re scared delivers the greatest pain of all – regret.
You have to be willing to lose…in order to win. In everything. You only learn and grow when you put your heart on the line. It’s not the end of the world if you lose. It’s just a moment in time. Get back out there and try again. Give it your all. Learn from the past and move forward with a deeper wisdom.
You can do this.
CAPTION 64
The perfect moment will never arrive. There’s no such thing. It’s not because the idea of perfection isn’t seductive. It is. It has people chasing after it all the time.
Rather, this idea of perfection is impossible to quantify. Turning the purely subjective into something objective is a task that leads to endless time being wasted.
So instead, begin. Begin your journey wherever you are. This moment is as good as any. The thing you really have to look out for is spending an entire lifetime waiting for that perfect moment and to be stuck idling on the side of the road.
If you’ve found yourself delaying for days, years or decades, begin now. Reset your intentions and learn from what it means to be out of action. The important part is that you actually start. Don’t throw judgement on top of all the time that has already gone by. That will just make life worse.
Courage is not about being completely fearless. It’s about what we decide to do in the presence of fear. Courage can’t exist without it. It needs it. It’s the opposite side of the coin. In fact, you can look at the fear you’ve been feeling and see that the courage that has always been within you is right around the corner.
Every step you taken in your life is new. You’re different. Life is different. Everything around you has shifted and changed.
No matter how “the same” things seem, they are completely and entirely different. Everything, in every moment, is coming and going. Don’t allow your mind to trick you into thinking that you’re the exact same person as you used to be. Even if you’ve “stalled” on the side of the road, you’ve still changed.
We don’t exist in a box that has an on or off switch. We exist across many different planes – mental, emotional, spiritual, physical etc. – and while we may not be chasing our biggest dream, our life is moving in so many different ways.
All we have to do is acknowledge it.
Allow your courage to set you upon a path of your greatest growth and development. Fear will always be part of the equation. But learning to work through it is one of the best practices there is.
That’s how you grow.
CAPTION 65
A long time ago, I read a line by T.S. Eliot that sparked something deep within. He said, “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” I immediately knew that whatever I had imagined didn’t even come close to how incredible things could be.
For some time now, I’ve had this lingering pull within my intuition that I had to take a journey that would lead me on such a path.
I’ve delayed and delayed again, but no matter how long I put it off it always came back to me relentlessly demanding my attention and commitment.
“You have to do this.”
The whispers have been pretty undeniable.
I think in many ways that’s how you know your intuition is speaking. You can deny The Call as much as you’d like – pretend that the phone isn’t ringing – but no matter how much you pretend you always know it’s there.
You always have known what you had to do. Now you just have to go out and do it.
The chapter of my life in front of me brings together so many different lessons and rights so many wrongs it’s hard to explain. In the end, the only way I’m going to be able to help you begin to understand what I’m talking about is to show you.
What would you do to feel truly alive inside?
What would you do to live in a way that you’ve never had the chance to experience yet, but you know is there?
What would you sacrifice to finally make it yours?
These questions have been echoing within me for a long time and with some patience I’ve come to my answer.
Whatever I need to let go, I will let go of.
Whatever is needed, I will do.
Complete surrender.
Eliot’s quote was right on the mark in so many ways. No one truly knows how far they can go until they go. And while I’ve gone out into the unknown forest time and time again, I’ve never gone as far as I’m being asked to go.
I’ll leave you with this.
Somewhere along my path someone told me, “You must because you can.” While it might be a very simple piece of advice, it’s also incredibly profound. You must do it…because you’re capable of it. And if that thing resonates within your soul, you have to show the world what’s possible.
So go show them.
CAPTION 66
It’s easy to find yourself feeling lost in this life. There are so many different paths to take and everyone is telling you a different way to go. The noise can be so loud that you can hardly hear yourself think.
But as you quiet down the mind, you will come to hear the powerful voice of your intuition. It is the guide to the path you are meant to travel and the wisdom that helps you see that everything happened the way it did in order to you arrive “here.”
Time and time again we are called to cross the rivers of life. When we first arrive at the shore, we stand there with a mixture of emotions at what exists in front of us.
Fear, doubt, courage, excitement and everything else in between. We think about what the journey is going to be like, sometimes delaying for great lengths of time, and deny ourselves movement at first.
But eventually, there’s comes a decision to enter the water. We feel everything in that first moment. It’s almost a bit shocking at first. But if we allow ourselves to just stand there for a bit – without running back to the shore – we get used to the water running over our toes.
In time, we make many steps forward and continue the journey. At some point, the water climbs up our calves, up our legs and even at points to our chest. We battle the current, do our best to keep our feet in contact with the rocky bed underneath us and manage keeping ourselves going.
Time after time we stub our toes, accidentally dunk ourselves, float a bit downstream and have to trek back upstream again. But we keep going. We can see the other side of the river and there’s no sense in turning back now. We must stay the course.
Eventually, we reach a point where the water begins to slow down, moving back down our chest, to our waist, to our thighs, down the calves and around our toes. We have made it through.
The end is very similar to the beginning. But what has changed? You. You believed in something and had the courage to see it all the way through. That’s called courage.
You aren’t lost. You’re finding your way.
CAPTION 67
You’ll know. Trust me, when that moment comes, the feeling is unmistakable. The mind is constantly trying to figure out where or where. Release that. Let it go. Trust yourself.
Faith is a very personal conversation for pretty much everyone. As the years have gone on, I’ve had some significant events happen to me where I first completely lost my faith but then it came roaring back. It was hard to deny what I saw and experience. Those stories are for another day.
But what I was left with was this – no matter how dark things may get, you can never forget that you are a light. I think we forget that at times. We look to find something outside of ourselves, but forget to look within.
You are so much more than you ever give yourself credit for. I know there are times where it’s easy to forget that. It can feel that life gives out beatings. I’ve been there I don’t know how many times. But you are far more than the things that have happened to you and the difficulties that come your way.
You’re beautiful…and I don’t want you to ever forget that.
Faith teaches you to trust in something far deeper than what you mind can see. It reaches into the depth of your soul and helps you come into contact that you may never have felt before.
That’s why I said you’ll feel it in your bones.
Because that’s the only way to describe intuition. It runs deeper than all the oceans. It’s at your core. It’s a knowing without “knowing.”
It’s your guide.
Trust it. Follow it. It only has your best interests in mind and would never hurt you. It may take time to tune in and really hear it, but it’s effort well spent.
You’ll know.
You already do.
CAPTION 68
You never know how long you will be walking the path with someone. Life has its own plans and no matter how much we try to look to the future and predict what’s going to happen, it’s all still a huge unknown.
But don’t let the constant coming and going of things make you fear what’s around the bend. Because all of the things in your life at one point in time were unknown to you. All of the wonderful moments you have lived were once just around the bend and you just didn’t know it yet.
So see it all through the eyes of possibility. Know that what could be…could turn out to be far more than you have ever imagined.
And then look to what you have in the moments in front of you and plant the seeds of joy, connection, gratitude and compassion. Immerse yourself in the moment. Because as wonderful as around the bend may be, it’s never as certain as what we have right here.
Be here. Be here. Be here.
There are some really special people that come into our lives that bring out the best in us. They might be friends, family, or relationships. Each of them bring a gift, something to teach you, something to offer you, and a path to you becoming who you are meant to be.
Appreciate them.
Tell them that you love them. Hold onto them while they are here and if at some point in time the path runs out – as hard as it may be – you can at least acknowledge that you were really here with them while they were as well.
It takes just a moment to let go of all your fears, doubts and worries and to connect with the fact that you are alive, loved, and looked after. People like this bring you back to who you are. They can help you re-discover what you thought was lost. They are guides to where you need to be.
Diamonds in the rough.
CAPTION 69
The greatest challenge I’ve ever faced in my life was beginning to believe in myself after I felt like all had been lost.
When you lose faith and trust in yourself and everything around you, things begin to look pretty dark. It can feel like there’s no one who understands where you’re at and can possibly help you through the mud you’re in. If you’re in this place right now, I want you to hear what I’m about to say next.
No matter how bad it gets, deep within you lives a light that cannot be extinguished.
Some call it hope. Others call it courage. I think it may be different for everyone. But for me, it was resilience. It has always been there and no matter what was happening in my life, no matter how bad it seemed, I knew that if I just kept on moving forward, I would find my way out of the mud.
You will too.
To find this spark again, you need to quiet everything down around you – all of the voices, judgements and people – and reach deep within yourself and remind yourself of who you are beyond the fleeting opinions of the outside world.
Reach in and hold your dreams again. See how you have survived everything that’s ever come your way. Give yourself credit for still being here. And then, find that one reason why it’s going to be worth it for you to keep on moving forward.
That’s all you need.
When things were hard for me, I lived by the following quote by Eleanor Roosevelt. She said…
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
So stop and look fear dead in the face. When you do, it shrinks. You see it for what it really is. It was never a wolf chasing after you. It was only the shadow of a kitten.
You’ve got this.
CAPTION 70
Roald Dahl once said, “I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good.”
As I’ve been thinking about this, I also recognize just how important it is that we take that same intensity about life and turn it towards deeply loving ourselves.
Each of us are on a journey to discover who we truly are down to our core. There are a million distractions, diversions and pitfalls on the path that can throw us into a multitude of different situations.
Some will cast you off your course for a moment. Others will take a lifetime to come back from. But if we all follow that deep whisper within our hearts telling us which way to go, we will find our way back home.
The way back isn’t through judgement. I remember one of my teachers a few years back saying, “Life is hard enough. Don’t make it worse.” And that’s what judgement does. It makes everything that’s already challenging 100x worse.
Loving yourself isn’t just about affirmations, slogans and self care activities. It goes far deeper than that. It’s about offering yourself things like grace, compassion, kindness in the face of our greatest challenges.
It’s about recognizing the toxic language of the inner critic, acknowledging its existence, silencing it and moving forward in a way that truly serves you. It’s about stepping into the deepest wisest version of yourself and letting that voice run the show.
The love we give to others is something incredibly special. Relationships bring so much depth to our lives it’s impossible to even describe. People come into our lives and impact us in ways that go far beyond our own understanding. They are even there for us in moments where we feel like we can’t continue on.
But nothing will ever be able to replace the relationship you have with yourself. That relationship (and the one with what you believe in) is what will define your entire life. So make sure you’re writing the story in a way that you can be proud of.
And be kind, always.
CAPTION 71
What I’m about to tell you won’t be easy. What I can promise you though is that this practice, while challenging, will be one of the most worthwhile things you will ever take on in your life. And if you’re up for trying something new, keep reading on.
The story you are telling yourself about what happened is far more powerful than the details of what happened. Tracking with me so far? It’s how you are viewing it that determines everything.
The greatest shift you can possibly make is moving from judgement to compassion. Judgement is like a thick molasses that causes you to stick to fear, doubt, worry, depression etc. and just makes everything worse. It’s a trap. It magnifies the events of life that are already painful and the suffering compounds.
But love and compassion are the solvent to all darkness. They lead to curiosity, wisdom and understanding and send judgement to flight. They disintegrate all boundaries and barriers in the stories we have written – even and especially if those stories have existed for decades.
To be able to view the mistakes and failures in life through the eyes of understanding, love, wisdom and compassion is not to let yourself off easy for the things that have happened, but to inherently understand that we are all fallible as human beings and missteps are part of the journey. They are one of the biggest ways we learn and we can only learn those lessons once we come to a place of acceptance.
You cannot learn when the environment that’s been created in the mind is full of toxic negativity. There’s no room for wisdom when fear, guilt, self-hatred and judgement are present. It’s impossible to grow anything there.
Eventually, the shift has to be made to more wholesome ways of looking at things. That is how you will move on. Learning through the lens of light instead of darkness. That’s how you see beauty in failure. You begin to understand that in the seed of failure exists boundless lessons about paths that need to be traveled and who you can be along the journey.
This is the way.
CAPTION 72
The other night, I had one of the most vivid dreams I’ve had in a long time. I was standing in the house of one of my close friends, and saw this version of me – a different version – that was very striking.
I saw flashes of what I looked like when I was young, a message that kept echoing “the clock turns back” and this version of me – the same age as I am right now – but more in alignment with what I looked like many many years ago.
I woke up perplexed. It was like I had experienced something happening at the exact same time, in the exact same place I had been many times, but I was completely different.
These messages have been getting louder and louder as the months have gone on. It’s hard to explain what it feels like living a life that you know you’re not destined for. The way I’ve always imagined it is walking on two paths that are parallel but diverging significantly over long stretch of time.
You can see the other path. You know what it would take to walk over to it – managing your way through the thicket and possibly suffering some scrapes and bruises – but you struggle to defeat the momentum of the path you had previously taken.
All of these dreams, the things I’m being told in my meditation and the pull deep within my bones have led me to this point – right here – making the decision to travel to the other side no matter what it takes.
This all reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Charles Bukowski…
“If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”
The perspective that I’ve gained from years and years of walking these winding paths cannot be replaced. It has offered me so much and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I’m not sure exactly where it’s all going to take me but that’s not the point. That’s the mystery of it all.
My job is to just have faith.
And I’m up for that. That’s all that ever really matters.
CAPTION 73
To be with someone and be truly seen and heard is one of the greatest gifts of all. They understand on a deeper level what you’ve been through, who you are now and all you wish to become.
They see the progression, the pain, the stories, the broken dreams, the will to fight on and the great ambitions that still exist. They understand you in a way that no words can describe. A true connection.
You’re never done.
There’s never a place that you reach when you are officially cooked. There’s always more to learn, understand, grow into and relearn. That’s the incredible thing about this journey.
It’s never-ending. It’s always unfolding.
So when you are being a bit hard on yourself for not being “there”…realize that place doesn’t exist. It’s never going to look exactly how you thought it would. But that’s the point and it doesn’t actually mean it’s a bad thing. It could be so much more.
A long time ago I heard someone say, “What if it could be so much better than you’ve ever imagined?” And I thought about that for a while and really tried to understand it. Our minds are limited in what we can “see” in the future. So at some point you’re going to have to let faith take over and know that there’s so much more out there for you that could completely knock your socks off.
Surround yourself with people who believe in you and support you through and through. Make sure you stay open to their guidance because it’s coming from a rare place of truly wanting the best for you.
And even more importantly, make sure you are your best guide as well. Practice removing judgement from your daily conversation. Seek wisdom and understanding when you make a mistake or head the wrong direction. Learn rather than beating yourself up with toxic language and practices.
Grow. Grow. And never stop growing.
CAPTION 74
Learn to let go of the old to make room for the new. We are taught all our lives to hold on. Most of the time it’s out of fear. But when you hold onto things that are no longer for you, you prevent the things that are actually supposed to show up from arriving.
You stop yourself from receiving the gifts of life.
The things in the past are gone. They’ve drifted off into the ether. You can’t go back and change them. You can’t redo them. Those moments cannot be touched. All you have is now, this moment…and what you do in this moment determines the story that exists in the future.
It’s hard to let go. I know. It’s one of the greatest lessons I keep learning over and over again. But when you do, there’s so much room for possibility.
You are free to create.
Free to be.
Free to choose.
Free to write the story in any way you see fit.
The most important part of all of this is that you can’t let the pains of the past prevent you from getting back out there in the world and trying your best again.
You’re going to get hurt form time to time. It’s inevitable. But refusing to play at all because you’re scared delivers the greatest pain of all – regret.
You have to be willing to lose…in order to win. In everything. You only learn and grow when you put your heart on the line. It’s not the end of the world if you lose. It’s just a moment in time.
Get back out there and try again.
Give it your all.
Learn from the past and move forward with a deeper wisdom.
You can do this.
CAPTION 75
Of all the things I’ve learned this year, understanding perfectionism and it’s different shades has been the most valuable lesson of them all.
“Is it good enough to win?” There’s usually a pretty large gap between being perfect and what it actually takes to win. Winning for me has never been about competing with someone else. It’s always been about going head to head with my potential – what I’m capable of. That can be infuriating at times because, as the old saying goes, “I hate losing more than I love winning.” And when you’re going up against your potential, there’s a lot of learning moments to be had.
But there’s no greater challenge and payoff in life than competing against what your capable of. There’s the person who we are now and there’s always…just a bit ahead of us…the deepest wisest version of who we are and can be. The goal post constantly moves. And that’s actually the point. While you will spend your life growing and developing, your potential will as well.
It’s not always pretty. It’s not always fun. You might get caught in loops of a thousand days of succumbing to past habitual patterns. But the commitment to discovering your best is what brings so much value to living. It’s the constant unfolding of who you really are that adds so much color.
Perfectionism is fundamentally about fear. That’s what I’ve learned. Fear that if you don’t do it perfectly, and something goes wrong, you won’t be able to handle the loss. But greatness and excellence are about courage. It’s about embracing your humanity, working through the fear and doing the damn thing anyway.
So…ask yourself…”Is it good enough to win?” That’s where the bar should be.
CAPTION 76
You are exactly where you need to be in order to become who you are meant to be. This one takes faith. You can look to the outside world and find a million reasons as to why you think this isn’t true.
The mind starts comparing and contrasting your life against everything that you see. And you’ll find no shortage of things to be bitter about. It will just compound over and over again until you’re utterly convinced everything about you is deficient.
But you’ve forgotten one very important thing – nothing and no one you’re comparing yourself against is traveling the path you are on. They are unfolding in their own ways…just as you are.
It’s your journey.
No one else is on it but you. So knowing that, it’s time to start tuning back in.
It’s time to start looking at who you really are, the light inside, the gifts you have been given and listen to the whispers in your heart telling you which way to go.
It’s time to put your heart on the line.
When you ignore the inner work, you’ll feel lost. Wandering. Floating. Miserable with all the time you spend looking outside of yourself. And then when you finally make that shift to look at what you do have and who you really are, you find exactly what you’ve been seeking all along.
The treasures are “here.”
They are not “there.”
So take that risk. Because that’s where the magic happens.
Everything snaps together and conspires to make it work for you once you decide. Your best qualities come to the surface. Guides come out of the wings.
And most of all, you learn things about yourself that you might have never known before.
You are far far more than what you give yourself credit for.
You’ve just forgotten.
Remember.
CAPTION 77
A lot of things are difficult to understand when you’re going through them. It’s easy to think that when things aren’t working out the way you wanted them to, that it’s somehow not part of your path.
“Oh no, that’s my true path over there. Let me get back to that.”
But it’s all part of it.
Every step.
Every choice.
Every cause, effect and ripple effect.
No piece of it is separate. No part of it is untrue.
Because “the path” isn’t a traditional path you walk on and arrive to a specific location. That’s what the mind thinks it is. It’s trying to visualize something that it just can’t make sense of. Like some island you can row to where it all turns out.
But it doesn’t work like that. There’s no end point. No location to get to. You take yourself with you every single step of the way.
There’s only here. Then another here. Then another.
It’s the farthest thing from being liner. Rather, you expand, contract, shift and grow in ways that are difficult to understand at the time. You can’t possibly see it all.
How could you? How can you see the picture when you’re in the frame?
The straight line is a myth. It doesn’t exist out there. It only exists in the head.
And yet, this makes intention even more important. Intention reaches down to the roots of who you are and brings forward the deepest expression of yourself.
Whatever you plant at the core impacts the rest of the tree. The universe doesn’t care what you plant. It only gives you more of what you put into the soil.
Plant mango seeds, you get mango trees.
Plant poison oak, you get a field of it.
While trying to see where you want to go has its benefits, what you must always come back to is in what ways are your feet falling upon the path as you create it.
There’s only what serves you and what doesn’t. What is an authentic expression of your true self and what isn’t.
From that place comes the greatest act of faith you can bring forward. Not knowing exactly where you’re going or how it’s all going to turn out…
…but trusting that with light in your heart, you’ll arrive exactly where you need to be.
CAPTION 78
..and that’s where it all happens. It all starts to unfold once you answer the call that’s been ringing in the background for so long.
Maybe you were scared of the journey in front of you so you delayed for as long as you could. But honestly, who hasn’t?
Who hasn’t denied themselves from moving forward because of fear?
Who hasn’t limited themselves because of events that happened in the past?
Who hasn’t found themselves lost without any idea of which way to go next?
Surely everyone has.
But you don’t have to stay there. You don’t have to allow the events that have unfolded in the past to control the decisions that you make right now. You can see them in a new light. You can begin to heal those old wounds.
And eventually, you can gather up the courage to try again. When you do, that’s when the magic happens. That’s when you grow. That’s when you develop. That’s when you start making movement towards the place you’re truly meant to be.
It takes embracing risk. That’s the secret sauce.
If you focus so much on the chance that things may not work out, you’ll never move. You’ll never change. You’ll never see what you have the capacity to see.
If you focus on your reasons why you’re doing it – your intentions – then you’ll start making those meaningful steps along your journey.
Losing your way is part of the process. And the funny thing about it is, you always end up finding something you really needed to get back on track.
Maybe, when you really look back at it, it wasn’t losing your way at all.
Can you ever really know what’s going to happen just around the bend? No. No one really can predict the future.
But if you trust that voice deep within you, the one that has your best intentions in mind, you’ll be okay. You’ll end up where you need to be.
So take the risk. Put your heart on the line.
It’s all worth it.
CAPTION 79
Failing hurts. Putting your heart into something and it not working out can be brutal. But like with all things, if you take time to really sit and learn from the experience, you’re going to grow.
Losing at something can become one of your greatest teachers if you let it. You can learn things about yourself and life that you just can’t learn from winning. Of course you’re not aiming to fail. But knowing that it’s going to happen (and that it happens to everyone) is a huge part of moving forward.
While the events that took place can be difficult to deal with on their own, the real focus has to be on your interpretation of those events. The stories you tell yourself about what happened can either make things infinitely better or worse.
You’re in charge of that. Make sure you’re looking at it in way that truly serves you.
Here’s a few lessons from failure:
1. you can’t avoid it. it’s part of the process. if you’re playing on the field of life, you’re going to lose from time to time. embrace it.
2. what you do with it matters. you have a choice – judgement or compassion. choose judgement and you’ll never learn. choose compassion and you will gain wisdom.
3. it’s a teacher. let what doesn’t work help you discover what will.
4. you’re amongst great company. anyone who’s ever done anything in this world has failed. welcome to the team.
5. it can unveil your greatest qualities. compassion. courage. fearlessness. wisdom. relentlessness. determination. the list goes on.
6. you don’t have to like it. it hurts when you put your heart into something and it doesn’t work out. it’s okay to not be okay. see it for what it is.
7. it’s not the end. failure is an integral part of learning and a stepping stone to becoming who you want to be.
Remember, you’re going to fail. It’s going to sting. But that’s nothing to be ashamed of nor does it mean that the journey is over.
It’s just the beginning.
And if you never give up, you’ll get to where you want to be. Just keep at it.
CAPTION 80
There’s an old saying that goes, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
So with the seeds that you have in your hands, plant your intentions.
Be careful of getting lost in the past thinking about all of the things that could have been. It’s an endless abyss that’s incredibly hard to disconnect from. Very quickly those stories can turn dark on you if you’re not mindful.
Be careful of getting stuck in the future. You can get equally as lost in the land of possibility as in the memories from the past. It’s okay to imagine where you want to go and dream about who you want to be. But you must always come back.
Come back to being right…here. Think about what you want to create in the moments in front of you. Because truly, those are the only ones you have.
They are the stepping stones to the future.
They are the seeds that mend the past.
You’ve heard it over and over again – be in the now. Reel your mind back in. Take a deep breath. Trace it moving through you. Breathe again and again.
You are here.
CAPTION 81
In order to make things better, you first have to stop making them worse.
It’s like being in a boat that has holes in it. While you might be bailing out water, there’s always more coming in. The goal isn’t to bail out water faster. It’s about stopping, plugging the leaks and bailing out what’s left over. Then, you move on.
But why is that so hard to do?
Maybe it’s just the mind always wanting to get to the next place and refusing to stop? Maybe it’s trying to figure out what to fix first?
Understanding that there’s a leak in the first place is half of the battle. But knowing what’s wrong isn’t enough.
The other half of the battle is trying to fix it. Arguably, that’s the most difficult part. Disciplining yourself to tackle one thing until it’s done isn’t easy. But it’s worth it.
If you’ve never traveled intentionally into the unknown and have absolutely no context for what’s possible, it can be pretty scary. You might want to start all over, try something new, go back to what you were doing before – mainly do anything but what you had decided to do.
The thing is, you’ll always come back around to what you know you needed to do in the first place. Funny thing that is.
A while back, I had this dream about the rings of a tree.
Each of these rings signifies a point in life. A story. A lesson. A trial. But as you hear the calling to adventure and traverse the challenges in front of you, you expand to the next ring.
Some rings tell stories of growth and others of great drought. But they are all part of you. They are all to be embraced.
I’ve been stuck myself at a single ring for quite some time. I’ve made attempts. I’ve succeeded and failed. I’ve risen to the occasion and quit a few times. But in my heart, I know exactly what I have to do to move into the next ring. I know what it takes.
Where I stand now after a period of my life where I felt like I was getting ground down into dust is coming back to an idea that made its way to me a long time ago.
It could be better than you’ve ever imagined.
Yes. Yes it can.
CAPTION 82
As a recovering perfectionist, this has always been something I’ve needed to remind myself. Progress is progress. No matter how small the steps might be, they still matter.
Even continuing to just hold your intentions and not letting go of what you know you need to do is a win. Think about what happened this past year? Everyone had their lives upended in an unprecedented way over and over again. But if you come back to your path no matter how many times you get thrown off of it, that’s a huge W in my book.
There are no L’s. Only lessons.
But you have to look for those teachings. Because if you start to look at the past through the eyes of judgement and criticism, you’re going to have a long day. Your critic will endlessly rip you apart for things that happened or mistakes you’ve made. There’s no growth in that though. There’s only toxicity.
If you’re going to go there, you have to go with eyes of understanding. Silence the criticism and try to learn. That’s the only way you grow anyway. You can’t learn while you’re ripping yourself to pieces. You can only learn when you can sit down with yourself and compassionately look at what’s taken place and understand how you can improve next time.
It’s not letting yourself off the hook. It’s taking responsibility. There’s no responsibility in judgement – just a brutal take on yourself and life. But there’s a whole lot of responsibility that’s present in owning your story and learning from it. Gives you the power to become who you’re meant to be.
That’s worth it. Little steps count.
CAPTION 83
For a long time now, I’ve been seeking context. As I’ve been navigating through the land of a thousand tomorrows, it’s been pretty easy to begin to look at everything through the eyes of judgement.
The Critic has been vicious at times. But even in all of that, I don’t know where I would be if I had just given up or even refused to change courses. Both of those options would have been disastrous.
Even if I wasn’t ready to take on what I needed to, there’s a strange feeling in arriving to a place that you know will change the foundations of your life. I think that’s been the hardest part of this.
I’m not being asked to do something simple or easy. I’m being asked to do the hardest thing of all – let go of who I have been and embrace the process of simultaneous tearing down and rebuilding.
And that’s honestly a bit scary. But through it all, I’ve maintained course no matter how delayed movement has been. The intention is still there. The will is still there. Belief hasn’t left the building.
The context I eventually found goes back to something I learned from one of my coaches a long time ago. The truth is, we are all beginners. When we grow and shift, we reach new depths of life where we have to learn all over again. When the expectation exists that we are “experts” that’s when all of the wheels start to fall off.
And when I look back on why I’ve struggled so much moving consistently on this path it comes down to the fact that I’ve had to let go of years and years of previous ways of thinking and acting that solidified themselves deeper than I could have ever imagined.
I did this to survive. These are the remnants of a previous life where I was at war. It’s been hard letting go of that. To tell myself that I’m no longer in battle and now I can rest. That’s been the most challenging aspect – learning to let go, get out of the way and let the process take care of itself.
I learned in a past life how to exert my energy in such a way that could move mountains. Now, I have to learn how to conserve that same energy in such a way that will still…move mountains.
yin and yang.
Just have to let go.
Let the garden unfold as it’s meant to.
CAPTION 84
There’s a voice within you that just knows. When you quiet everything down, you’ll start to hear it whisper. What is it guiding you to do? Who is it telling you to be? Where is it telling you to go?
No one can tell you more about your path than this ancient voice. Its wisdom is infinite. But the hardest task of all is learning how to trust it. Most of the time, there’s not much traditional evidence to support its callings. In a world where everyone walks by sight instead of faith, learning how to correct your course because of a feeling within your bones is incredibly challenging.
But you’ll never regret trusting it. You’ll never find yourself on the wrong path. It may take some time to accept what it’s asking you to do. I promise you this though…when you finally do it will be the greatest adventure of your life.
Learn to trust your voice. Others may guide you, but in the end, you have to make that decision for yourself. You have to discover that connection with something far deeper than you could imagine.
Ignite your faith. Listen and believe. The answers you have been looking for have always been within.
Just tune in.
CAPTION 85
In those moments of silence, when you hear the voice coming from within, who are you? Who are you being? What matters to you? What are your intentions, ambitions and dreams?
Do not be scared of the quiet. Welcome it with open arms. Even though you may hear the voices of criticism, you can let those go. Quiet them down. Do not fear them. Do not run from them. Hear them. Calm them. Be fiercely compassionate with them.
What does the 95 year old version of you say? You know, the voice that speaks with endless love, compassion, wisdom and care. The deepest wisest version of you. The one that has been guiding you all along. What does that voice tell you to do? Who does it tell you to be?
Loving yourself through the endless unfolding of life can be difficult at times. It’s easy to travel the path of judgement and be brutal. But you are far more than the mistakes you’ve made, the habits you have and who you’ve been. Your soul is so much more than you know.
So be kind. Sit in the stillness. While it may seem like there’s nothing, there’s the potential for everything. The universe moves when you do.
Breathe. Then be.
CAPTION 86
You have to maintain a light heart. You have to claim that for yourself. I know this life isn’t easy for most everyone. I’ve been there. I understand that. I’ve been beaten, broken, abandoned, shamed, abused, bullied, cheated on, lied to, betrayed and everything in between. Those scars are endless. Some of them took forever to even begin the process of healing.
But…and this is the big thing…they don’t own my soul. They can’t take the light. That’s mine no matter what.
It’s not about being positive all the time. It’s about choices. These are hard to make, but hen the wold feels like it’s crumbling around you, you have to make a choice not to quit and move forward no matter what.
That’s why I’m here writing to you today. I made that choice nearly a decade ago and trust me, there were many compelling reasons to quit.
Make your decisions out of love.
Fear is always ready to grip you and take you out. It’s easy to succumb to the darkness. At times, you might find that you have. That’s okay. Recognize when you fallen into its hands and then make your decisions out of love once again.
You’re not supposed to be perfect. It’s impossible to be. But you can do your best and really give it a go. That’s all that matters.
Be gentle with yourself. The judgment only makes life worse and it’s already hard enough. There’s no point in it anyway because you have to get past it to release and grow.
So let go of the criticism, shame, bitterness, guilt and anger and trade for the light. Root yourself in wisdom, compassion and love. That will help you see the big picture and truly learn from your past footsteps.
After all, they end up being some of our best teachers. Oh and don’t forget to laugh. Joy works wonders.
CAPTION 87
…and that’s where it all happens. It all starts to unfold once you answer the call that’s been ringing for so long. Maybe you were scared of the journey in front of you so you delayed for as long as you could. But honestly, who hasn’t?
Who hasn’t denied themselves from moving forward because of fear? Who hasn’t limited themselves because of events that happened in the past?
Surely everyone has.
But you don’t have to stay there. You don’t have to allow the events that have unfolded in the past to control the decisions that you make right now. You can see them in a new light. You can begin to heal those old wounds.
And eventually, you can gather up the courage to try again. When you do, that’s when the magic happens. That’s when you grow. That’s when you develop. That’s when you start making movement towards the place you’re truly meant to be.
It takes embracing risk. That’s the secret sauce.
If you focus on the chance that things may not work out, you’ll never move. You’ll never change. You’ll never see what you have the capacity to see.
If you focus on your reasons why you’re doing it – your intentions – then you’ll start making those meaningful steps along your journey.
Can you ever really know what’s going to happen as you head in a new direction? No. No one really can predict the future. But that voice deep within you knows it’s good for you. It knows that there’s heart in the path and that’s all that really matters.
So take the risk. Put your heart on the line. It’s worth it.
CAPTION 88
You’re never done. There’s no getting “there.” There’s no island where it all turns out. Rather, you’re a constantly unfolding being always learning and growing.
Always in the act of becoming.
A beautiful work in progress.
Imagine a lotus unfolding endlessly layer after layer after layer. It never ends. It just continues on and on. Each layer you arrive at a new stage of depth where you come to an understanding. And then the next layer unfolds, you begin again, and arrive at a place of depth and wisdom in time.
So stop putting so much pressure on yourself to get “there.” There is no “there.” There’s only here. It’s all you have, all you ever had and all you ever will have. And when you really take the time to stop and just connect, you’ll experience so many wonderful things flooding in it will overwhelm you. You get to see the process for what it actually is – endless growth.
You’ve spent a lifetime running to a place where you think it all pans out. But that place has always been right here. That’s what the seeker eventually learns – that everything they were ever looking for existed within.
At times we may feel completely disconnected from our intentions and who we really are, but we don’t need to go searching outside of ourselves for that version of ourselves. All we have to do is plug back in – like plugging in a lamps chord into the wall.
And when you do, and settle the mind, you will “feel” it coming back into connection. Be here. Be here. Be here. Over and over again. Repeat it to yourself. Sit in the silence and just feel into what’s “here.” You’ll feel the electricity, the energy, the source. Soak that in and see what arrives.
Here. Here. Here.
CAPTION 89
What you have in front of you, right at this moment, is a blank piece of paper. What you write on that piece of paper depends entirely upon you. No one can write it for you. The pen isn’t going to magically move by itself.
So knowing that, what do you want to write? How do you want this story to take place from this moment on? Do you want it to be filled with courage, love, compassion and joy? Or do you want it to be filled with bitterness, greed, resentment and self-pity?
Yes, the pages of the past have been written and unfortunately you can’t go back and make physical edits. But that doesn’t mean that story is static. While the words may be permanently inscribed onto those old pieces of paper, the way you see them is not set in stone.
You can choose to look back from time to time at those chapters with the eyes of judgement or with the eyes that seek wisdom. How you choose to go back in time will determine how you feel about it. It shouldn’t be a surprise that darkness yields darkness and light yields more light. That’s also your choice as well.
While there are events that come into our lives that are out of our control – someone accidentally spills ink onto the book we are writing in – what we decide to do in response to that spilled ink is also in our control. How you respond to these moments – the good, the bad and the ugly – also is a choice.
And what you will come to see is that everything is a choice. They are yours to make and when you make them, they shape the reality you are in. If you want a different reality, don’t spend time and effort beating yourself up for how things look like now.
Step away from that choice. Instead, embrace where you are at – the darkness and the light – and move towards making the choices that you know will resonate deeply within your soul.
That’s the good stuff.
CAPTION 90
There’s a fine balance between learning to let go and learning to hold on. Something I’ve noticed a lot going on is everyone is talking about “letting go of what’s no longer for you.” In many respects, that’s completely right and something valuable to practice.
But there’s a distinction that exists between when is an appropriate time to let something go and when it’s absolutely critical not only to your relationships but also to your own growth as a human being to learn to fight for the truth.
Often, an “Oh I just let go of it” is actually disguised as a deeper underlying fear. Fear of what might happen if it doesn’t work out so you got out in front of it. Fear of actually entering into vulnerable conversations and really putting your heart on the line. Fear of investing in people and eventually having something shift and change in a way that you couldn’t have predicted.
There are times when you truly have to let something go. Something or someone is being toxic in your life and you have to clear that space out in having compassion for yourself.
But the universe doesn’t always take. If I’ve come to understand just a handful of things, it also provides great opportunities. Chances and moments for significant growth because you decided to do the thing that was hard. It will honor you for that choice.
The greatest treasures of life are not right on the surface that can simply be taken by the wind. They are deep within the earth and you have to dig and work for them. The path of faith and belief is not an easy road. It’s challenging to the core at times. Fear, doubt and worry have a way of creeping into the soul and causing internal strife.
So how do we get there? This balance between holding on and letting go?
We refuse to make our decisions out of fear and sit deeply within our inner wisdom – the deepest wisest version of who we are – and listen. Listen for the simplicity of the truth and the path you are being guided on.
Open your heart. Use the constructive mind. Listen. Be patient. Cultivate balance.
CAPTION 91
While you are going out into the world and taking care of everyone, who is taking care of you? Who nourishes, supports and believes in you? Who is there for you when everything feels like it’s going wrong?
There are going to be many different types of people you come across in this lifetime. Most everyone will be seen as just a flash of a moment when you look back on it all. But then, there are going to be those rare few who ride with you all the way through.
They’ve “got you.” They look after you, remind you of who you are and all that it has taken for you to get to where you are, and bring out the best in you. These are the best types of people. The ones who planted roots with you and stayed.
You have to be patient as you are going along your journey and you’re looking for these types. And then, you have to be even more patient in growing that relationship every single day.
Because the gift of patience is roots that stretch deep into the earth and can weather any storm. And the deeper you plant yourself, the higher you can rise. Relationships are exactly the same way.
And most of all, you have to stay open. People come and go in our life. That’s just the reality of it all. It’s on wavelengths that can be really difficult to understand. But if you stay open to receiving the gifts, they will come.
Surround yourself with good people. Let go of the ones who only bring unrest. Set healthy boundaries out of love and strength when necessary. And always look after yourself as much as you are looking after other people.
The garden will come. You just have to patiently tend to the seeds.
CAPTION 92
Every once in a great while we are given a unique opportunity to rise to the best versions of ourselves and embark upon a path of discovering who we are meant to be.
If we find the courage within to step forward and answer our calling, we begin a process of such infinite change that predicting exactly where we will end up becomes impossible. All we know is that who we will become is closer to our true nature.
These paths that exist in front of us come at a great cost though. Sacrifices need to be made. And usually, those sacrifices require the letting go of old ways of showing up in the world and trying on completely new things.
In order to cross through the threshold of your new journey, you have to let go of the previous one you have taken to get to this point. That’s the raw truth of it all – that new beginnings only arrive after embraced endings.
And that’s the hard part isn’t it? Embracing the ending of something. Coming to a place of full acceptance and watching what’s familiar – even if painful – drift off into the ether.
Many of us have a column within our soul labeled “unfinished business.” These are promises that have been made, dreams left undone, wrongs that need to be corrected and old karma to clean up. And as the days go by, that list becomes clearer and clearer to us that we need to step forward and finally begin.
And yet, sometimes the Long Pause sets in.
We put off what we know we have to do. We refuse to let go. We hold on. Even though you know internally that what’s on the other side is what truly aligns with your heart and soul, there can still be a lot of fear that holds you back from making the steps necessary to move forward.
The holding pattern commences as nothing fundamentally changes. Everything is still. Waiting for you to finally decide. Waiting for the choice. Waiting for the will.
And then, one day, you finally do make that choice and everything changes. The story of your life is rewritten and you become who you were meant to be all along.
It’s going to take courage. It’s going to take some sacrifices. But everything that has ever happened has prepared you for this moment.
This is becoming.
CAPTION 93
Courage, dear heart, courage.
Find the courage to do this. Find the courage to dive as deep as you can and go back with the intention of learning and understanding. There are things there that you need to see again. There’s a story that needs to be retold.
Find forgiveness – you’ve been holding onto things for quite some time. Find passion – there are pieces of you that you have lost along the way. Find healing – there’s a calling that you know you’ve needed to answer for some time that you’ve finally had the courage to get in touch with even just now.
I know there are pieces of you that are scared to do this again. But you’ll be fine. You’ll enjoy the journey and the process of going through it all again.
Just don’t quit.
Don’t give up. Don’t quit on yourself. When you seem to hit a wall just continue on. That’s the way you’ve always done it in the past and it has served you over and over again. Don’t lose faith now because this is the most important time for you to shine.
You’ve gone through bouts with demons before.
You’ve stepped up and followed through on what was right.
So have courage dear heart, courage.
These are interesting times. They have presented challenges in many unique ways, driven me to making decisions about which way I wanted to go, and given me strength to make choices that I’ve been avoiding making. This one last mountain to climb, if I can climb it, will truly make me feel incredible. I will thrown another chain down off of me.
There’s a lot fighting that inside of me right now. The dark side is rearing up and I’m being challenged in all sorts of ways. But that’s part of the process. That’s how all of this works. You make a decision in the light and have to face the upheaval from deep within that has a few things to say about all of it.
It’s unhappy.
It wants to convince me that I don’t need to make this change.
But I know I do.
I know that I need to face this last wolf that has been following me around and quiet it down.
There’s no need for it anymore.
There’s no need to avoid it.
So, courage it is.
CAPTION 94
Through the greatest of sacrifices we open the gates of possibility – witnessing a version of ourselves greater than we are now – and begin to embody the true essence of our spirit.
We become who we are meant to be.
And for the first time in our lives, the images of who we thought we were begin to shatter and disappear back into the ether.
For thousands of days, I have sat down at my desk to transcribe the whispers of my soul.
When I found the courage, I would write about the great tragedies and victories of my life, express my dreams and try my best to come to an understanding of how lost I felt at times.
What came out was pure, honest and as authentic as I could possibly be. Even though my fears arrive and try to stop the ink from flowing, there’s always something within encouraging me to go on and move forward.
All these years later, I’ve landed here.
And where is that?
Climbing a mountain that seems to be made of brittle shale that constantly shifts underneath my feet. It is one of the most encouraging and yet unbelievably frustrating times of my life.
Constantly failing. Relentlessly recommitting. Getting so close to stepping through the gates my visions continue to show me and then falling all the way back down the mountain.
I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you how challenging this process has been. And yet, every single time I fall, the flames within my gut begin to burn with greater intensity.
There’s a fury within.
One that’s fueled by being able to see what’s just on the other side of my flawed humanity.
It’s as Robert Frost said, “The only way out is through.”
I will figure this out.
Whatever it takes.
However long it takes.
Because at the end of the day, it’s worth it. This is what I’m here for. This is my journey – my mountain to climb – and exactly what I’m supposed to be doing with my life right now.
When I finally make my way up the hillside – bumps, scrapes, cuts and all – and lookout upon the heavens I will know exactly how much it took to get there.
I’ll know what it means to me.
I’ll know who I had to become.
And in that moment, I’ll smile, and be ready to climb whatever comes next.
CAPTION 95
Every step that you have taken has been part of the path. You’ve never been lost. You’ve never taken steps backwards. You’ve only been finding your way this entire time. You’ve only been starting to discover that the footsteps you have made, no matter how you viewed them, have been the steps you needed to take in order to become who you truly are.
Every fall.
Every mistake.
Every victory and defeat.
These all have led you here, to this place, waking up more and more as the days go on. How could you ever say that these things that happened, while painful at times, were not meant to be if you are finding the gold that lays within them?
They were what you needed to learn to shift and morph as is willed.
The only trouble that comes is when you use the paths of the outside world to judge your own. They are inherently and distinctly different. The pointing of fingers is misguided and unhelpful. So here you are.
Awakening.
Seeing.
Rooting and discovering.
The events of the past have turned to fluid paintings and are almost like a dream. How can we nourish them? How can we soften them? How can we turn them into something beautiful no matter how dark they were at times?
Remember who you are.
Remember that as tough as things may become, there’s still great beauty in your life and there’s always light in the presence of the darkness. You have always wanted to repaint the scene.
No one else can travel that path but you. These rocks in the river can be moved. These barriers can be broken. These moments can be transformed. They all can shift. But you have to let them. You have to finally let go and step forward, one mindful step after another, in a way you have always been asked to.
Trust.
Trust in your heart.
Trust in who you really are.
Then, become.
Who you think you are is only a fraction of who you really are. Awaken.
You have so much time in front of you.
You have a many lifetimes left. All of that time you spent struggling and battling against the cards that had been given to you, that time can be reclaimed as well.
But you have to make the choice.
You never lost your way.
You’ve been here the entire time.
CAPTION 96
From time to time, I think about the end. There I am, sitting in a chair somewhere on top of a mountain looking out across the valley reflecting on everything that has happened in my life.
I think about all of the victories and defeats, what I created and left behind and how far I had come since I started off on my journey.
But more than anything, I think about the people who I’ve come across and how they have impacted my life. And in that moment, it becomes immanently clear to me that the only thing that really matters is to have lived a life of virtue and to have loved other people as much as we possibly could.
I don’t know what comes after all of this. I’ve heard many things. I’ve seen many things. I was once told it was like “crossing the street.” I’ve always liked that. The simplicity of continuing to walk into the unknown but just in a different way.
But I do know that each of us are here to give a gift. First, we must learn what that gift is. And then, when we do, we are destined to pour that out into the universe as much as feasibly possible.
We aren’t here to create more barriers. The world has enough of those. We are here to bridge all gaps and to come to the realization – like Thich Nhat Hanh said – that we are all made of the same stuff, the same cookie if you will, and we have simply forgotten that “other” is actually “me.”
Our lives are defined by who we decided to be. That’s our choice and ours alone. While many things will happen, wounds will need to be healed, fears overcome and doubts extinguished, we must always rise to the version of ourselves that reaches into the depths of our root and continues to offer our deepest of gifts.
I hope that you give yourself the chance to make your decisions out of love rather than fear. Those choices, no matter how small they may seem, add up to be a reflection of who you’ve been.
If you don’t like how the story has been written so far, the good news is you can change it. Create whatever you want. Touch the lives of those around you and countless others in a way that they will be left better off by knowing you.
Love. Love hard.
CAPTION 97
metanoia
(n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life.
I’ve always loved that word and what it stands for. More than any other word, it is the complete embodiment of my entire purpose of writing and why I started this project.
I’m doing my best to change my mind, heart, self and way of life. All of them. There’s noting off limits and they are all so intricately connected.
The other day I came across a quote that read, “It ran into your family until it ran into you. You’ve been anointed to break the cycle. Generational curses end with you.”
Throughout the past year or so, I’ve had some difficulty stepping up to the plate and answering that call. To be honest, it can seem daunting at times. I also believe that the reason why I’ve struggled so much with it is because I’m also finding my faith again.
Many many years ago I lost touch with what I really believed in and through a series of perfectly timed events, I’ve started to reconnect with it. That process has been far from easy as I’m still dealing with these old elements of myself that continue to pop up and get in the way.
I think this is where the persistence comes in. Even though I’ve been crossing the river and falling in more times than I ever could have imagined, there’s still that desire to get to the other side.
I’m not the most talented person in the world, but the one thing I do know I have is a sense of resilience that can never be doused out completely.
The journey to discover who you really are isn’t pretty all the time. It can get messy. It can hurt. It can drive you batshit crazy at times. But it’s worth it.
It’s worth going through the endless amounts of failure so you can finally experience what it’s like when it finally clicks.
The task I’m taking on every single day isn’t small. It’s a big ask. But deep within my heart, I know that I wouldn’t be asked to do this if I wasn’t capable. So I’m going to keep on trying.
Keep on looking for answers and asking for help when I feel stuck. In time all things will come to fruition. When patience meets persistence, beautiful things begin to happen.
Just keep going.
CAPTION 98
There’s this moment in The Matrix that always stuck out to me and I never really understood why until recently. Morpheus looks at Neo and says, “There’s a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.”
For a couple of years now, I’ve known the path. I’ve studied, learned, practiced and even from time to time really started to travel up on. But eventually, I always returned back to where I started. The comfortability of the struggles I had known was all too alluring and so I repeated an endless cycle countless amounts of times.
Coming back to this place over and over again was never where I was meant to stay. I learned over time that I arrived here because the roots of fear, mistrust and guilt had spread throughout parts of my foundation over the years. The fear of letting go of what I had known – even if I knew of a better place to be – was overriding my commitment in moving forward and experiencing unexplainable amounts of growth.
As much as my intuition told me to “let go”…I couldn’t. There were too many memories throughout the years that were replaying themselves in my mind that I just didn’t have the ability to make it happen.
But one by one, I started to yank out those ancient weeds and opened that space to be filled with something that I knew was good for me.
And that has led me here. Finally deciding to walk the path through and through.
Life isn’t linear in the way we think it is. We believe that because we count our age by some numerical quantity that we are moving on a straight line somehow.
But if I’ve learned anything, this is far from how it actually works. We grow, expand, and contract in ways we don’t often recognize. We start walking on paths, move in different directions, fall into unexplored areas and come back to where we need to be.
But the gift of all of this is understanding that the road to where you want to be is one of progression and not perfection. One of unfolding and constant learning. You’re never done.
All of it is about deeply honoring who you are, what your wisdom is telling you to do and the series of choices that will inevitably lead you to who you are meant to be.
Forward you go through fear.
CAPTION 99
What is the story you’re telling yourself about what’s happening? Without a doubt, this is one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself.
Humans are “meaning” creating machines. We create stories about everything. You have a stories about people, locations, household cleaning products, colors…and you definitely have stories about yourself.
There’s this line in Peaky Blinders where Tommy responds to his maid in a bit of a drunk rage (which is pretty common for him) “I know what this is. It’s just myself, talking to myself, about myself.” And considering how things were going, you could tell exactly which voice inside was running that conversation.
We have the voice of the inner critic and the voice of inner wisdom. I’ve talked about these plenty in other posts and the massive difference between the once that is filled with toxicity, fear and judgement vs. compassion, understanding and wisdom. Whichever one you allow to take the front seat in your mind will determine a whole lot about what happens next for you.
It takes a great deal of practice to even become aware of these voices and distinguish between the two. However, it’s some of the most important work you will ever do. When you’re creating stories in life, if they are rooted with unwholesome seeds, that experience itself is going to have a lot of negative effects and ripple effects.
So the most powerful thing you can do is to hunt out any negative stories you have and to begin to expand your awareness around them in an effort to come to a view that is much healthier.
It’s not about faking it or bs’ing yourself. It’s about searching deep within to hear the voice of reason and wisdom and see something for what it truly is. When you do this, you free up so much space in your life that was overrun by negative stories and perspectives. You open back up to possibility instead of retreating in fear.
So start small. Look at some of the narratives you’ve created about things and see if they serve you. If they don’t, challenge those narratives. Then, watch your world begin to change.
This is what we call “doing the good work.”
CAPTION 100
The way you speak about yourself, to yourself, matters. That voice can either be one that is full of toxicity or full of healing. It can make things better or it can make things far far worse. Let me help you hear what’s inside…
The voice of the inner critic is the one that’s constantly spewing fear, doubt, worry, hate and judgement. It is the shadow. It is the balancing mechanism for our inner wisdom. The opposite side of the coin. And, in many different ways, it says, “You’re not good enough.” It knows exactly what to say to get under your skin and cause you to fall subject to fears (false evidence appearing real) and continue down the path of letting this voice tear you down.
The voice of inner wisdom is the one that’s soft but powerful. Wise, loving, compassionate and “knowing.” I call it the 95 year old grandma/grandpa version of you. It sees the truth through all the lies that the critic spews and speaks to you in short but powerful messages. It’s the deepest wisest version of who you are. It’s the guide towards the light.
Remember, one is the opposite of the other. You can’t get rid of the inner critic just like you can’t get rid of inner wisdom. They both grow and develop with you as you continue to change and move forward. But you can learn to work with the inner critic – to not fall prey to its toxic judgements – and to respond to its attacks with wisdom.
Just as your mom or dad gave you “the look” when you were acting up, your inner wisdom can do the exact same thing to the critic. “Heyyyyyy…knock it off.” Respond with powerful wisdom and truth. With love. With compassion. With joy. Your inner wisdom will help you see all of the lessons in the events of the past without an ounce of tearing yourself down.
Oh and by the way, your inner critic is pretty dang good at what it does. You’re going to fall to it from time to time. But get back up. Get back to your wisdom. Making this shift from judgement to compassion is the biggest change you’ll ever make in your life.
I can promise you that.
CAPTION 101
A huge story shifted for me recently. Recently, my dad and I were on the phone talking about the difficulty I was having with stepping back from “perfectionist” mindset and how much it was getting in my way.
He then told me this story about an old business partner of his and a slogan that was used over and over again as the measuring stick for success. He would say, “Is it good enough to win?”
This hit me like a sack of potatoes. Immediately I visualized this massive gap between perfection and what it actually takes to win. It became very clear to me in that moment that it’s not about being perfect. It’s not about being flawless in your execution of the task. It’s about putting in the time, work, and energy to put forth your best and win – in whatever way that looks like for you.
The gears started turning in my mind. It made me question really what standard I had set up for myself from the start. I couldn’t really even identify it. But I knew that it was an an impossibly high level and sabotaging many different areas of growth. And then, it really started making me think of what does it mean for me to grow and develop in this season of life?
What it would look like?
What it would feel like?
Who would I have to be?
Is it good enough to win?
Of course, you’re the only one that can define that. But when it’s just you answering to your soul, you really have to dig in and start to answer that for yourself.
It’s not about beating someone else.
It’s not about proving something to the outside world.
It’s not about being “perfect.”
It’s about you making you proud.
That’s what really matters. That’s what you have to answer to in the long run. Because at the end of the day, it’s going to be you sitting there reflecting upon how you lived your life and you want to make sure you are happy with how the painting turned out.
Did you spend every moment trying to be perfect and as a result never getting anything done? Or did you do what was necessary to take things to the next level, live in the best way you possibly could and make as much of an impact as possible?
You get to choose.
CAPTION 102
In the end, that’s all that really matters. How did we impact the people around us and touch their lives in a positive way? Did we leave the ones who came across our path a little bit better off than we found them? Did we love our hearts out.
Love hard. Get your heart broken. Laugh. Cry. Suffer. Explore. Wear your scars with pride. Allow life to teach you in its mysterious ways. Risk it all. Put your heart on the line. Fall down. Get back up no matter what. The only guarantee we have in life is that everything is going to change. So knowing that, you really should take that chance and go for it.
Play to win. Don’t play to not lose. What that means is, as much as things have happened in the past, you have to make a conscious decision to go out into the world with your wisdom guiding you and give it your all. You can’t play to not get hurt. Because if you do, you’ll suffer the greatest pain of all.
Regret. Regret stings worse that anything else when you’re looking back at your life wishing you had left behind all the past heartbreaks, opinions, judgement and fears. Regret is a deep aching of the soul in knowing that there was so much more out there.
So get on the field. If you need to take some time to rest and recover, that’s perfectly fine. There’s always time for that. You need your strength. But don’t sit in the stands for a lifetime wondering “what if” because you’ll only know once you get out there and start playing. And on the field is the only place where all the gifts of life are.
Play on. Love hard.
CAPTION 103
Is it possible to turn straw into gold? Yes. Yes it is. But it’s a process and it takes quite a bit of time. And you’re going to need a whole lot of love, understanding, wisdom and a light heart on your journey to get there.
The greatest shift you will ever make is letting go of wisdom and moving towards compassion. When you do this, you turn on the light. When you’re constantly judging everything that’s happened or happening in life, you’re trapped. There’s no visible way through because you’re at war with how things are.
But when you let go of all the judgement and start to view life through much gentler eyes, you see that even though what has happened in life may have been painful, you can understand how you can transform it into something productive. You may use your voice. You may support others. You may heal yourself down to the core and show others the way.
And this is how we turn straw into gold. You turn on the lights. You find the dark spots still residing within your heart and see it in ways that you may never have before. What you will come to find when you look at things in a completely different way is that the thing itself changes. It moves, shifts and morphs and often of times washes right back out into the ocean.
Trust in the path. Shine a light on what hurts. Allow yourself to feel everything deeply and it will eventually leave you. Let the story you tell yourself about what has happened be one of healing and not one that will continue the pain. Let go. Breathe. Let go again.
You’ve got this.
CAPTION 104
I’ve come too far to quit. This one scene of my life from a long long time ago continues to play over and over again in my head…
‘You mean to tell me there’s miracles?’
“Of course there are.”
The road to getting to this place has been difficult, challenging and full of mystery at times. I’ve spent thousands upon thousands of hours of learning and digging into areas of life that I never could have predicted I would have to dive into.
The answers were a bit strange.
Not strange in the sense that they were bizarre and hard to understand. More strange in the way that they are so unbelievably potent but virtually unknown. It’s like they were the greatest secrets of all but just a few layers deeper than where most would think to look.
Maybe the inner child in me that loves to dig holes inherently knew that if you continue to dig long enough, you’ll eventually run into something cool.
It was right.
I didn’t get here alone. Far from it. I got here with a handful of mentors, healers and teachers who, once again, I could have never predicted finding. They showed up and echoed the messages that my intuition had been saying for years.
And that brings me to this…
The other day when I was thinking about my struggles with consistency, I came to a particularly interesting insight. It suddenly dawned on me that my difficulty stemmed not from discipline (I’ve got that when I’m locked in) but rather from trust.
Time and time again I felt like my heart had been ripped out…and I don’t know if you can resonate with this feeling, but when you physically feel your chest – like it’s being pulled away from you – because you’re in so much pain, you really don’t want to feel that again.
That doesn’t stop the calling to trust.
All I know is that it takes time to build back your sense of faith. It’s not all gained back overnight. You’re still going to have to work through all of your old baggage – a lot of which is there for good reason – and have the courage to navigate what has been avoided for so long.
But on the other side of all of this is a new way of life.
Miracles do happen.
Trust that.
CAPTION 105
I believe that no matter where your journey has taken you, you can always find your way to the path you were meant to travel. Mine, when I look back on it so far, has had its wild twists and turns.
I’ve lost my footing a handful of times. I’ve walked in directions I knew I shouldn’t have. I’ve experienced the darkest of darks to the brightest of lights. And oh I struggled. Deeply. Like that soul wrenching struggle that shakes you to your foundations.
I’ve raged against what had come to be. I’ve battled currents I couldn’t overrun. I’ve given up and been swept downstream by fear, doubt and worry. I’ve suffered at the hands of others mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually and by the time I was in my late teens felt like I was so scarred and wounded that my soul was like Swiss cheese.
No matter how mad I was or how much others were to blame, I soon figured out that it didn’t fix anything that I was dealing with. I was only drinking the poison over and over again and it turned bad to worse.
So, as hard as it was, I had to shut my ego up and “own it.” I had to own the story that I was part of for better and for worse. That wasn’t easy. It was a very bitter pill to swallow. Something inside of me hated it but it’s what I knew I had to do.
Here’s what came of that. Choice. No longer did I have to be a victim. I could decide for myself how the pages of my story were going to be written after someone threw ink all over the beginning pages of the book. And even though I tripped up thousands of times trying to turn it all around, eventually I started to get some things right. Then, some more. Then, even more.
We are all meant to take grand adventures. If you listen carefully, you will hear the calling of your soul telling you which way to go. It takes time to align with that, but when you connect you will “know” what you known all along.
I’ll leave you with this today. There’s a line that Morpheus says to Neo in The Matrix that has always stuck with me. he says, “There’s a difference between knowing the path…and walking the path.” Don’t be afraid to take it.
Courage, dear heart.
CAPTION 106
I think as you grow older, you look for very different things in people. Honesty. Loyalty. Respect.
But most of all, you look for someone who will stand right by your side when the walls start crumbling down and the fires rage within.
They are right there, and in that moment, you know they’ve got you.
Never lose sight of the fact that actions speak far louder than words.
We live in a world where anyone can say anything and make it sound good.
But when the time comes, are they actually there when it matters?
Do they actually back up what they say or do they fade into the distance when you really need them.
There will be a few people in your life who show up no matter what the circumstances are. But they are rare and hard to find. That’s how they are supposed to be.
If you have faith enough to know that they are out there, you will find them. It may take some time and searching and you’re probably going to have a lot of relationships that don’t hit that level, but that’s okay.
Because when you do find them, you know they have your back no matter what.
If you have these people in your life, cherish them.
Ride on your journey with them as long as you can.
They are diamonds in the rough.
Oh and the last thing…don’t ever settle.
I hope you don’t accept anything less than what you deserve.
Run away from average love. Run like all hell. You deserve someone who will make your blood stir.
You deserve to be deliriously happy. It’s okay to be patient.
It’s okay to wait for that.
You’re waiting for the best and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.
CAPTION 107
Your faith will guide you right back to where you need to be.
We get so lost from time to time. It’s hard not to in this world. Things happen that we never could have predicted and we get hurt in ways that rock us to our foundations.
It’s hard not to look up to the sky and yell, “What the actual fu*k is going on?! Why me?!”
But come back.
Come back to who you really are.
Come back to your heart.
Come back to this moment.
Never forget that you’ve been able to get through the worst of the worst every single time.
I know that doesn’t feel like much when you are struggling right now, but it really does count for something.
Everything is changing. It’s always changing.
When you’re really in the thick of it, remember…it’s on it’s way out.
When you are feeling wonderful and really in flow, remember that things are always subject to change.
That’s how we grow.
And as the old phrase goes…no mud, no lotus.
CAPTION 108
Play to win. Don’t play to not lose. Where did that even come from?
I spent a lot of time in the past afraid to put it all on the line.
Sometimes it would be 70%. Others 95%. But I would always hold something back.
I would always keep something in reserve just in case it didn’t go “my way.”
I did this because there were a few times in my life where I did go all in and everything fell apart at the seams in apocalyptic fashion.
So that made me a bit shell-shocked.
It made me unwilling to step fully across the line.
I had these big dreams but held on dearly to past habits that would act as a “hand brake” on my potential and slow me down…just in case life had different plans for me.
But that’s no way to truly live.
Tentative.
Wary.
Unsure.
Untrue.
That’s no way to live at all.
When you’re in the place, you’re just trying to make sure nothing goes wrong.
That’s not strength that’s motivating you. It’s fear. Fear that you won’t be able to handle whatever comes along.
But here’s the truth.
With love and courage in your heart, you can handle anything that arrives at your doorstep.
Know that deeply.
You’ve got this.
Onward you go.
CAPTION 109
As much as you choose them, you deserve the same thing.
Any type of relationship is hard at times, but there are very clear indicators that someone else is not putting in the effort to respect what you are trying to build together.
Once your gut tells you things are off, you know something is wrong.
Not your crazy mind…but your inner wisdom.
For me, I give people the world and I don’t ask for much. The only thing I ask for is doing what you can to water what we are trying to create together.
If you stop doing that, I’m not going to beg for you to come back.
I will watch you drift away and maybe if it’s in the stars one day it will be again.
CAPTION 110
At the end of the day, you just have to go out there and do the damn thing.
You can’t spend your entire life wondering what it would be like if you went for it.
You can’t wait until the perfect moment to get going because it will never arrive.
You can’t wish that all of the things that happened in the past would just go away and you could do it all over again.
You can’t.
As tough as a pill that may be to swallow, it’s the truth.
Sometimes the truth feels like a slap in the face.
But here’s what you can do.
You can get started.
You can make some moves – they don’t have to be perfect – and start building momentum.
You can take everything you learned from the past and start taking responsibility for how the next pages are going to be written.
You can take back your life from fear, doubt, worry and blame.
The greatest risk of all is having stayed camped out in the harbor instead of actually setting sail upon the ocean of possibility.
No regrets.
No looking back to the past wishing you actually went for it.
Live for these moments in front of you.
It’s all you have.
CAPTION 111
The space between who you are and who you want to be is one of the most difficult transitions of all.
You’re asking yourself to become something greater, to break out of the shell you’re currently in and that will test you down to your core.
It’s no easy feat to elevate to the next level.
It can be…
Infuriating.
Challenging.
Maddening.
Yet no matter how many times you fail at reaching it, it continues to call you over and over again. It shines a light on your half-efforts and demands proper admission – your best.
Nothing short of that will do.
To be completely honest, I’ve given this a lot less than my best.
I allowed for excuses and procrastination to set in and time and time again come up short. When I look in the mirror, I know there’s no one to blame but myself.
Half-assed efforts lead to half-assed results.
Somewhere, there is a bone in my body that loves to learn but gets scared and gives 70-80% of what’s required to make my goals and dreams happen. It’s like I lock up and worry about what will happen if everything goes wrong.
It’s not like I don’t have prior experience in “everything going wrong” as there have been a few significant moments in my life where things tragically fell to pieces.
But the deeper wiser version of me knows better. It knows that I cannot allow for those old events to determine future outcomes.
In many ways, I have.
I’m not afraid to admit that. I know that the only way to work to that next level is to take ownership of what landed me here.
I have to give more than this. I’ve got to get back in flow.
I have to recommit to the things that I know are good for me.
I have to do what I’ve been shown and taught.
I can do this. I know I can. Like with all things in the past, it takes me many many tries to finally get right.
But isn’t that what this entire journey is about?
Becoming the best version of ourselves as time goes on? I’m still committed to that.
So I’m going to dig in – deeper than I have before.
Into my roots I go.
CAPTION 112
No matter what has happened in the past, you can create a different future. Each moment you have a choice of how you want to create the very world in front of you.
You can choose to live in fear or you can choose to live in love.
This is your decision to make and yours entirely.
No matter how much you try, you can’t control everything. There will be things that happen that are completely out of your hands.
I understand this deeply. But what you can do is choose how you want to move forward after that event has happened.
You can hold onto it and let the pain fester or you can move through it with light and let it dissolve around you.
It will take time. It’s not easy.
But the process frees you from the moments of the past that used to control you.
Be willing to let go of the things that you know in order to truly begin to “see.” The way you’ve been doing things, the things you think you know and the habits you have can all put you in a box.
Be flexible enough to let those morph into things that truly serve you. Don’t be afraid to start all over again.
30 days of being truly alive and living your truth can make you more alive than 5 years of just surviving.
Time is a funny thing like that.
Keeping that in mind, focus more on “being” than on “doing.”
CAPTION 113
If you want to move forward, you have to begin letting go of the past.
All of the blame, anger, resentment and energy that’s going to what’s already come and gone doesn’t serve you at all.
It only keeps you trapped. It only keeps you stuck inside a mental prison that you created for yourself.
You have to begin the process of healing those old wounds…because that’s the only way you set yourself free to move forward.
Every once in a while, I watch Kung Fu Panda and there’s this part where master Oogway says to the panda…
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present.” It always reminds me that while you can allow your mind to drift to the past and mull over everything that’s happened, that’s not where all the gifts are. They are here. This moment right now.
Letting go isn’t easy.
It’s an ongoing practice that you will have to take on for the rest of your life.
But, it does get easier and time goes on.
As you train yourself to “come back” to these moments over and over again, you’ll find yourself staying much more present and aware of what’s happening right now.
Like any muscle you build, it takes repetition and focus.
To take it to the next level, practice meditation.
You’ll set yourself on the right track.
CAPTION 114
“Let go. Let go. Let go.” The whisper that’s been trying to teach me throughout my entire life.
It’s always been that message. The same lesson, over and over again, in a thousand different ways.
I started writing back when I was 19 and it helped me process everything I was going through.
I started to let go and little by little things changed. But then, I ran to the future instead.
Maybe if I lived in the world of dreams and what could be I would be happier? Wrong again.
The voice cams back. I learned that you could suffer from living in the future just as much as living in the past.
It doesn’t matter if it’s painted with possibility, there’s still one issue.
All you can be is “here.”
Your mind can wandered to “there” as much as you let it.
But “there” doesn’t exist. You only have this moment…right here. So that led me to this…
No matter what is going on in your life, you have a choice to make. Meet it with light or darkness.
Love or fear.
The circumstances will change constantly. Things will go up and down and those situations you can’t control.
But you can control what you do with those situations. You can write the next pages of your story as you please.
So be here. Come back when you drift.
This moment is yours.
CAPTION 115
Today, I want to share a personal moment with you.
Back in 2011, I was bedridden for weeks because my heart had stopped functioning properly. The combination of the drugs they had me on, being stuck in a bad place mentally, and going through heartbreak was really pushing me beyond my limits of what I thought I could handle.
I’ll be dead honest with you – I didn’t think much of a future was going to be possible for me at all.
Then it must have been around 3 am during one of my insomnia-struck moments that I heard the following lines in a movie that lit a spark in me…
“But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that! I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.” (Rocky Balboa)
Something just clicked. I knew I had to take full responsibility for how the story of my life was going to be from those moments on.
What I learned in that moment is that you don’t have much control over what happens to you. However, what you do have complete control over is how you respond to it and how you handle yourself going forward.
When you can grasp that, you set yourself free from being a victim.
CAPTION 116
Your faith will guide you right back to where you need to be.
We get so lost from time to time. It’s hard not to in this world.
Things happen that we never could have predicted and we get hurt in ways that rock us to our foundations.
It’s hard not to look up to the sky and yell, “What the actual fu*k is going on?! Why me?!” Trust me, I feel like I’ve been there more times than I would like to admit.
But always come back. Come back to who you really are. Come back to your heart. Come back to this moment.
Never forget that you’ve been able to get through the worst of the worst every single time. I know that doesn’t feel like much when you are struggling right now, but it really does count for something.
Everything is changing. It’s always changing. When you’re really in the thick of it, remember…it’s on its way out.
When you are feeling wonderful and really in flow, remember that things are always subject to change. That’s how we grow. And as the old phrase goes…no mud, no lotus.
But here’s what I always go to no matter how things seem to get. “Love or fear? Will I move forward with love or choose fear?”
Think about what would happen if you stopped before every important choice and gave yourself a second to consider the two paths in front of you.
Think about the decisions in the past that could have used a moment of reflection before making the choices that you did. How much would life change?
I would say pretty significantly. Would this practice be easy? No. Would it be very, very, very worth it? Absolutely.
So step into this and ask yourself the most important question of all…”What will it be today?
Love? Or fear?”
CAPTION 117
Courage is not about being completely fearless. It’s about feeling fear and moving forward anyway.
You’re never going to feel 100% ready. That moment will never arrive.
You will never reach a place where you feel completely comfortable as the planets and stars align. Don’t even get me started on Mercury being in retrograde.
The perfect moment will never arrive. Never. So instead, begin.
Begin your journey wherever you are. This moment is as good as any.
The thing you don’t want to run into is spending an entire lifetime waiting for that perfect moment and to be stuck idling in place.
If you’ve found yourself delaying for days, years or decades, begin now. The important part is that you actually start. Then, you can learn from all that procrastination.
Every step you take is new. You’re different. Life is different. Everything around you has shifted and changed. No matter how “the same” things seem, they are completely and entirely different.
Everything, in every moment, is coming and going. Don’t allow your mind to trick you into thinking that you’re the exact same person as you used to be. Even if you’ve “stalled” you’ve still changed.
There will come a point in your life when you’re going to be able to look at the “negative” experience and gain a tremendous amount of wisdom, compassion and insight from them.
However, the only way you get to that point is by getting out of your own way, dropping all of the judgment, and moving forward with a perspective rooted in love.
When you can do that, everything will rapidly shift for you. Trust me.
CAPTION 118
Each of us are on a journey to discover who we truly are. There are a million distractions on that path.
Some will cast you off your course for a moment. Others will take a lifetime to come back from.
But if we all follow that deep whisper within our hearts telling us which way to go, we will find our way back home.
One of my favorite quotes from Roald Dahl goes, “I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good.”
You are here to discover who you truly are.
But first, you have to wash off all of the mud that has piled up throughout the years.
You have to learn to let go of all of the things that are no longer for you. You have to see your mistakes with compassion and not judgement and finally learn.
Then, you can head to where you are meant to be.
Don’t forget to enjoy the journey.
CAPTION 119
Do it for “you.” Do it because it’s going to make you proud. Do it because it resonates with your soul.
That’s when you’re going to find so much joy and happiness when you finally cross the finish line of whatever you’ve set out to do.
The problem is so many people attach their sense of self-worth to the opinions, approval, and judgments of those who are around them or who they don’t even know.
When you do that, you’re going to be in for a very rocky ride because everything in the outside world is constantly shifting and changing.
People can’t even decide what they want on a menu, let alone give you a deeply thoughtful, compassionate, and well-delivered take on what you are doing. Everyone changes their minds on a whim.
There’s an old quote that I love, and I’ll do my best to paraphrase it.
It goes, “if you build yourself upon the compliments of others you will most certainly fall upon the sword of their criticisms.” Isn’t that the truth of truths.
Remember that people’s judgments and criticisms are 100% free.
They are literally so cheap you can get them anywhere at any time.
I think if they cost a lot more than that – say $1,000 a piece – that people would be much more conscious of the criticisms they pass your way.
But as it stands now, they don’t cost anything, so don’t take it so hard when someone doesn’t like what you’re doing or what you’re about.
Their attention span is around 8 seconds anyway.
So knowing that, turn within.
Answer to yourself and to what you believe in. Always be willing to listen to those who are really trying to serve you, take criticism with a grain of salt, and check everything against your best of intentions.
If you whittle it all down to what resonates with your heart, you can hardly go wrong.
CAPTION 120
It’s in the risk. That’s where you grow. There’s no doubt that it feels fantastic when you finally achieve something. But that’s not where the souls gold is.
It’s in who you become during that process that matters more than anything.
Embrace that. Know it deeply.
If everything works out then great! If you try and fail, that’s ok too.
It’s part of the process. Keep going because you’re growing. Failure is just feedback. That’s all.
Don’t take it so hard it’s showing you that you need to go in a different direction. But the journey, that’s where the magic is.
Whenever I’m going through the thick of it and really losing my motivation to carry forward, I always think of Theodore Roosevelt’s famous speech The Man In The Arena.
He said,”It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
You have to get out on the field of life. You’re going to fail. That’s inevitable. Don’t be afraid of it. Welcome it.
Because at least you’re playing. At least you’re showing up willing to do what it takes to make your dreams, goals and ambitions come to light.
One day, you will win. If you keep changing your strategy and come back to the table again and again, you will find a way.
But, if you refuse to play the game at all, you will lose and lose big. The cost of not playing is living with a lifetime full of regret. And that, is far worse than failing.
So get out there and be willing to learn.
You will find your way.
CAPTION 212
No regrets. No reaching the end and wishing you had actually had the guts to go for it.
I don’t care if you’re scared out of your mind. Hell, I am all the time. Every damn day I have a “oh sh*t” moment.
But that’s the point. You have those moments and that’s when your courage shows up.
That being said, you have two options.
Option #1:
You stay where you are. Comfortable. Easy. Probably safe. Mildly content. Settling. You can get by here there’s no judgement at all. This is a place to live and I’m sure you can live a good life here.
But you won’t live out those dreams that keep showing up in your heart.
Or, you can decide to choose…
Option #2:
Uncomfortable. Tough. Full of growing pains and failure.
But here lives transformation, dreams, goals, ambition, giving yourself the chance to be deliriously happy and every single day striving to compete with your potential.
It’s your choice.
But you only have one life. So no matter how afraid you may be, I want you to stand up, look your fear dead in the eye and even if your feet tremble, walk straight into it.
You were born to be more than this.
Courage dear heart. Courage.