“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

That quote above, was the first quote I ever posted to my blog 5 years ago. It’s amazing how much has changed, and yet, it still holds completely true through all of this time.

A lot has been going on with me lately.

There have been fluttering moments of the past intertwining with my present, big ideas about the future and bringing them into creation, and a general sense of ease about everything that is happening at the moment.

I don’t find myself reaching for things anymore.

Maybe that’s just something about this time or maybe it is something that has fundamentally shifted in me?

I’m not completely sure. But what I can say is that something is definitely changing in my heart.

A couple of weeks ago, I was left changed by a closing chapter of my life and have never been the same since. I’ve always said…once you have an experience you can never go back from it. You will never be the same again and you can never go back to the person you were before all of it happened.

There’s nothing about what happened that weekend that I have rejected – it was one of the most incredible moments I have ever been in – but there’s still a sense of awe and learning about what truly went down that day.

Throughout the years, I have always understood something deep down in my bones.

The more vulnerable I was – sitting in truth – and the more I put my heart on the line the deeper my connection would grow with life. That has been true time and time again and even though you get burned cooking in the kitchen sometimes, you really do always come back to cook again and again.

You must reveal what’s inside.

It’s not that you can’t keep it locked up. Of course you can. But when you let it out, worlds change in front of you. More importantly, lives change because of spoken words. So when I sit here and write, I understand deeply that I have to be completely honest with myself and where I’m at.

And the dead honest truth…if I really looked into the mirror and dig into my intuition…is that I know I’m about to start this crazy journey and catch a wave that has been building for quite some time.

I couldn’t have said that lately, but something about these recent times make me truly believe that what I’ve felt coming for a long time is arriving. It’s here. A few final things left to go and I’m going to start catching some serious momentum.

Frankly, I’m a little bit scared about all of this.

I guess it’s more nervous, but the truth is I have absolutely no idea what is about to show up for me. I have a general impression of what some of the things I’m going to do may be…but that’s really about it.

As I look back at all of the things that have happened this year and the years since I’ve started this project, I can see dots connecting. I see the lessons that I have learned clear as day and realize that each time I have struggled through something it taught me a great lesson and character trait that I could move forward with.

In the times that I hide from life, I don’t learn. I only suffer.

So I let that go as well. There’s no hiding from this. As much as you think you can stall on making decisions or facing what you need to face…eventually you have to turn straight into your fear and just do what you know you have to do.

There are no guarantees on how things are going to turn out, but one guarantee you will have if you fail to face your fears is living a life full of regret, fear, and never reaching what you were capable of being.

So as much as all of this stuff scares me, I’m going to be doing what I need to do.

I will not, under any circumstance let fear own me. For a minute it might…but I have to carry on.

Little by little, I am going to continue chipping away at what I know I have been put here for. I will keep showing up with a wide open mind ready to learn. I will keep being taught the lessons I need to be taught without much questioning as to why the hell is this happening to me?!

I’m going to keep diving into that forest…and keep crossing the bridges when they show up.

Reveal it all.

Leave a trail behind you.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project