Within. Within. Within.

Diving deeper and deeper within. These silent moments. These quiet days. They have all offered me a gift that I hadn’t seen until now.

Insight.

Insight into an old path that lead me in a direction towards destruction. Insight into the truths that exist in this world without being misconstrued or deluded into something else. Insight into myself and despite having struggled to accept the truth over the past few months, I have arrived with willing hands.

Peace has arrived.

My body erupted in desire towards it’s old ways yet was quieted by my wiser self. I sat with the waves and quelled the storm. I chose differently. I decided upon a new way. A different way. As I sat in it all, I saw where I was headed. I saw the healing to come. I saw the peace to come. I saw the happiness bloom like a flowerbed of lotuses beneath me.

I touched this moment, not with inadequacy, but with love.

With that, everything transformed.

These struggles have led me here to help me understand not only myself but others. They have brought me a deep sense of understanding of what many others are going through. They have allowed me to touch my own pain and therefore touch the pain of others.

I can see now. 

I can see very clearly that all of this was not for nothing. I can see that those years and years of anguish and pain have come to a place of understanding and even at times laughter.

I can see that my work here is to write about these things in such a way that everyone can understand, feel, and experience. I also know that my journey is far from over.

There’s so much more peace to come.

I have a journey ahead of me that’s going to take a lot of my commitment and dedication. This one is about healing and rest. This one is about nourishing a body that has been hammered away at for years and has been at the receiving end of habits that have torn it down.

The calling was ill-received by me for some time. I didn’t want to take time off. I didn’t want to rest. I was constantly trying to get back to this place and reclaim this moment but my body was working against me. I now can see that there is another path that will lead me to a far greater place and that is the one I am going to travel.

I am ready for this.

I have been ready for this for quite some time.

I am ready to heal.

I am ready to take this to the next level.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project