As I continue to go through my life, I am starting to come to deeper and deeper realizations. The things I have come to know in the past are being re-explored…and I am finding much more depth in them by considering them in the first place…and then by asking tougher questions of how I even reached that point. But there is one concept that stands out amongst the rest, and that is vulnerability.


Fear is what stops us from starting. When we are too afraid to start, we paralyze ourself. Why? Failure. We are afraid of being labeled a failure, from being a failure…and everything else that is associated with this term. But the problem is…if we wait for luck to strike, that doesn’t teach us anything. Many get massively lucky and then when everyone is expecting them to repeat their success…they can’t. I would rather fail over and over again…to the point of breaking…and succeed… than get lucky. Never wish people luck. Wish them the ability to take one step past their fears.

A long time ago, a manager and a very good friend of mine sent me a video before I started a project with her about vulnerability. I’ll never forget that video and what it taught me…and through the past couple of days of reconsidering everything I have learned and with talking to those close to me…I have learned that in order to truly be loved, you have to put it all on the line for people. There are no secrets. Because the people who truly do love you will be there even after they hear every last drop of your story. They know the worst thing about you, and yet, appreciate how beautiful your story is. Mad…unconditional…love.

In the days before the new year, I want you to think about something. Instead of trying to solve everything at once, try to understand what your story means to you. What is your story? Your story is everything good and bad that has happened to you up until this day. The horrors and the victories. When you can get your story understood…by you…then you be completely free.

Clearings. If you have a complaint in life, or you need to talk something out…talk about it. Don’t let people be reckless with your heart…and for certain don’t be reckless with the hearts around you. Be vulnerable. Love people to death. This is a message that I hope to express throughout the rest of my life.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project