I have had an interesting dilemma which I was not really used to and couldn’t really get a grasp of until this weekend. I had an amazing perspective offered to me and it was so compelling that I have to write about it here. Over the past year or so, I have had a handful of people in my life only come to me when they are really hurting or in trouble. I call this “being in their darkest hour.” Then, when I offer sought after counsel…they disappear. I used to take this a bit harshly…thinking that I was not worth being present through the good times. This has happened on more occasions than I can remember. I really had no idea what to do with this situation until I was told…”Ok…Evan I mean it is perfectly acceptable for you to be a little bit annoyed…but think of it this way. When that person is in their darkest moments…and really need help…they think of you as that one person who can help them see the stars when it is so dark outside. So don’t take it in a poor way that they are coming to you. Of course you shouldn’t be taken advantage of…but keep an open mind about the whole thing.”

This knocked my socks off. And, like I said before, completely changed my perspective on the whole thing. You can be whoever you want…and if that means being the guide to the stars for those who can only see darkness, then I feel like that is quite an honor. It may not be that you will be part of the sunshine all the time, but to be that person who can offer a hand through the times of trouble is almost more important. Giving those the inspiration and courage to really take the steps that scare them. I thought about this all weekend…I was inspired.

So the next time someone comes to you that you haven’t heard from in a long time…just remember, they are there for a reason. They need you…because they thought of you when things got tough…and they know you are strong and can help…or even carry them when they are too afraid to make footprints of their own.

Keep your mind and heart open.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project