It isn’t about being better than everyone else, about competing with anyone else…about besting someone else’s best.

It is about finding your best each and every single day. About finding that extra gear you know is there…but sometimes incredibly hard to shift into. That is where your best is at…and I am completely convinced that if you are focusing on someone else, you are never going to get to where you need to get mentally to hit your best.

We are truly happy when what we think, what we say, and what we are doing are all in harmony. Then we are truly in action. Whenever we have breakdowns, it is because those three are not in sync…but the interesting thing is that once you work on getting those back in sync again…you are so much happier. I want to write a little bit about a topic that has been on my mind a little bit over the past few weeks, but I wasn’t exactly sure how to voice this.

For me as an individual, I have no problem giving people my best, putting forward a lot of effort to make something happen. Whether this is friendships, relationships, the works. However, a little bit of reciprocation goes a long way doesn’t it? And this is where I get caught up a lot. Do I keep trying? I think there is a little bit of me that tries for a little too long. That is probably just my ideals engrained into me…but there comes a point where you need to reallocate energy to something else. There this Lil Wayne line that goes “no sittin’ at the table if you ain’t bringin’ nothin’ to it.” I think this is just right. I mean, I love building relationships with people, love getting to hear people’s stories, but you can’t really spread yourself out too thin. Plus, where there isn’t any effort from the other person, that is just going to drain you even further. When I say effort, I’m not talking communication every day etc (I swear I am not being high maintenance here). I am talking once in a while some sort of conversation etc…just to know that you still care. Yah? This is not religion…I shouldn’t have to rely on blind faith that you are my friend.

So I had to throw that out there…and you know what one of the best testers of friendship is? Adversity. When adversity strikes in people’s lives, you truly know who your friends are etc. The ones that drop off the face of the planet, well, unfortunately you didn’t make the cut. That’s okay! You will be surprised how many paths recross again.

How was waking up at 5am for the past couple days? Yesterday, piece of pie. Today? Thank god music was blasting in the other room. But how was my intensity yesterday? I was dripping sweat. Which actually, I was approached yesterday and asked about working out alone etc and what were my reasons. I do get great workouts when I am at CrossFit and other group workouts etc, but there is something about pushing yourself. Not just once, but over and over again. About taking it to failure and having to sit on the floor after your done. I think having the ability to push yourself, especially through the pain is an incredible asset to have. So I practice every single day…twice a day. I can tell you right now, I am not looking forward to walking on the treadmill for an hour tonight because my legs are impossibly sore…but you can bet your money that I will show up.

So I continue into the abyss.

Last thought…be the type of person you want to meet.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project