One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to be completely happy.

Sound hard? Sometimes you have to pull down a wall before you can build it back up better. But don’t focus on trying to build the wall back all at once. Focus on laying each brick as perfectly as you can. When you get to the end you will have a strong magnificent wall. I know that in my life, self discovery will never go away. In fact, as the song says above, we know so little about life and what is going on. I chose this song because doesn’t it hit the whole point of life right on the nose? I was given this movie by one of my great friends and she convinced me I had to watch it. Plus, it really was a gift and I should have watched it earlier. The movie was called French Kiss. So I sat down after months and months of neglecting this…and finally watched it. I was pleasantly surprised by how great it was. Yeah…go ahead and laugh…but what type of man can’t watch a Romance movie? Booyah, check that one off the list. Anyways, the message is great. Love. That is all. Love.

I am reading this awesome book right now called The Mind Game. First of all, I highly recommend this book if you’re an athlete. It really dives into the mind of an athlete….which, I fancy myself as. Weightlifting to me isn’t a hobby, it’s a sport. I have some pretty hefty goals for this sport and eventually competing in an all natural competition. Overall though, this book really dives into explanations of how your mind works and how to stay on the field playing and winning at the game of life. There is this one chapter in the book that talks about the 4 D’s. The great this is this chapter comes right after talking about cheating and steroid use. The only thing you really need to achieve your goals are these 4 things.

The 4 D’s- The Mind Game

1. Desire: Ted Williams knew at a young age exactly what he wanted to be. When he was in grade school, a teacher asked what he wanted to be, and he said that he wanted to be a baseball player. Again when he was older he was asked the same question, and his classmates laughed at him. His answer was always the same…”I want people to say ‘There goes the best hitter that ever lived.” Ted Williams was the only baseball player to hit .400 in a season…arguably being one of the best hitters there ever was. See it. Be it.

2. Dedication: Turning desire into action. Create a plan…then work the plan. What is awesome about this is that it is so simple. Get a pad of paper…write down what you are going to do…then do it. Sometimes it’s so simple that we think we have to do something else. What I have been doing recently is writing these things down daily. Every single morning I write out the plan and then work the plan. It also has been a great help in remembering what I have to do and what is most important.

3. Determination: Self motivated. There is a great story about Jack Nicklaus hitting golf balls at the driving range. He practiced for hours and hours on end…and his new wife called out to him “Let’s go, Jack….I’m hungry.” With callused hands, Nicklaus hit another ball, and another, and another into the dark. He then looked at her and said, “So am I.” Get hungry. Whatever your goals are, go after them. You know what you need to do…just do it.

4. Discipline: No Excuses. Simple enough, there is no excuse. Refuse to make excuses for yourself. Take pictures of yourself every week. Make the measurements. Weigh yourself. Write it down. Tell people what you have been up to. NO EXCUSES. Whenever that mind of yours starts to tell you to break your promises or  your path towards your goals…just stop. I have a little mantra that I say to myself when I start hearing that negative voice. “Hustle, Patience, Big Dreams.” Things aren’t going to happen overnight, but they will never happen if you don’t give yourself the chance to succeed.

Today was just a happy day all around. I went home, visited my sister, plaited with the dog, and was just happy all day. The past few weeks have just been an absolute pleasure. I wouldn’t have changed anything. I want to speak to one more thing before I sign off for the night. When someone or something matters to you enough, put your heart out on the line for them. Of course your going to get hurt once in a while, maybe a lot, but the people who really love you back will cherish every single word. That is how you get amazing people in your life, back in your life, or create awesome friendships. Laying it out on the line and being 100% real. If you are hurting, tell them. If you miss them, tell them. If you love them, tell them. It is amazing how easy it is to tell when people really aren’t giving you the full story or holding something back. I have been this type of criminal before. But if I have learned anything, it’s that your heart and your mind are the two most powerful things you have in this world…use them.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project