In my last year,

I tried to hide, I cried, and told myself to stand aside,

I learned patience and understanding in a project of better-manning,

I prayed and I wrote, I swallowed my throat,

My voice became silent, my pen into retirement,

I gained and I lost,

I cried in exhaust,

I looked for inspiration, in a place of devastation,

I was rocked by something I thought was locked,

Nothing is ever locked, it is only cocked,

I found it in myself to get back my health,

I lifted, I ran, tripped, and started again,

I felt pain and heartbreak, looking at that lake,

It was certain for me, as I saw my hands shake,

Picked myself up and tried to breathe,

Looking for something deep inside of me,

That little spark that kept me alive,

Came knocking and finally arrived,

I chose to live, without the fear,

To be bold and stand, not looking reared,

To give up the stories, that I had created,

Because those stories had me fated,

I took off the shades that covered my eyes,

And saw the beauty in our lives,

I found love in a lion’s den,

It was fear that I grasped, and picked up the pen,

Started writing about my life, the goals and dreams,

Telling others they can achieve anything with a little steam,

I was now out of my way,

Brain cleared by thoughts and emotions,

We create our field of play,

Time to finally get in motion,

Opened my heart to possibility,

My brain now had the ability,

To take my dreams and create,

No matter how hard my old self tried to hate,

And now I sit here writing you today,

Heart full and ready to play,

There is no fear stopping this ride,

But only fear sitting right here beside,

I learn about myself every day,

Rarely look back, there is no past anyway,

The only day that matters is the one right now,

Living in the past or future makes you miss the wow,

You will lose in life but it’s always your choice,

To live in pain or to rejoice,

For the things you have and the people you love,

Who will never fail to hold you above,

So make the choice for the latter,

And begin to climb up the ladder,

Towards getting your life back,

And how…? Well, Double your faith and make a stack.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project