You can be strong, yes, but that doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. Your physical strength, while impressive, means so little…to this heart. I say time and time again that I’ve surrounded myself with strong people…and many have inquired what that actually means to me?

When I talk about strength, I focus on very different things than I used to. I don’t look for how much someone can force their opinion, how much they can accomplish, how big their vision is or the dreams they are following. I don’t look for how many friends they have, how much power they have acquired, what their following is like…I don’t look for any of that.

I look for how soft their heart is. I watch how they handle pain. I look for the person who suffers and yet continues to serve. I look for those who have a desire to give to the world, instead of continue to steal from it like the heavy handed people of the past. I look for gentle hearts, while being soft, have a flame to them…a desire to give. I look for people who are willing to work things out in a tough situation…who will stick around despite things getting hard…because I know deep down their loyalty and respect for me is true. They have a hunger to serve. They serve the world with their hearts.

So when I talk about surrounding myself with strong people, I am talking about these people.

It’s pretty easy to get mixed up in trying to acquire wealth, power, fame etc…but when you really spend some time with these ideas, you realize that they are just as fleeting as anything else. They can disappear overnight and you are left with nothing but more desire to grasp. It’s not going to lead you to happiness. It’s not going to lead you to fulfillment. What will lead you to that is constant growth and adding depth to your life through the development of mind, body, and spirit.

Uncovering more and more of your true self every single day is going to make the biggest difference.

But if you’re too scared to go there, you’re going to constantly come up against a barrier to feeling truly connected, amazing, and “strong.” That true strength I was talking about? It also comes from fearlessly being yourself in a world that constantly asks you to be on stage and present a specific image to everyone.

Give that up.

Honestly, ditch that idea.

Because when you ditch the idea of constantly trying to look good or desperately avoiding trying to look bad, you give yourself the chance to connect with yourself, your deepest desires, and who you know you are. We all have those moments where we feel deep vibrations from within asking us to please let whatever our true self is out. But fear…that menacing thing called fear – the fear of showing our true selves (flawed and all) stops us from doing that.

Battle through that desire to hold back. Once you start holding back…from the people you love, from the world, from yourself…you are lost.

And lost…is one of the worst places to be.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project