Often of times being a writer is one of the safest positions to be in. Before the writing community jumps on me about that statement, let me explain. I consider writing my sincerest form of self-expression, and throughout the years I have seen terrible writing turn into what I actually want to say. I can take something from deep down, drag it out of me, and finally put words to it. I don’t think that it is because my vocabulary has expanded or anything else really…but rather the effect of writing every day, of going to that place inside me each day and grasping my reality. I also think the things I have been doing over the past year or so have really made me in tune with my mind, soul, and body. Those connections are starting to really solidify to each.

But writing about action is easy. This is truly what I want to talk about. There are very few people who can actually check in on me and see whether or not I am truly in action. Of course I would be honest here if I wasn’t being truthful, but there is no outside accountability really. Thank god I try my best to keep myself accountable for my actions and decisions. It is easy to hide behind words, behind text messages, emails, Facebook…but those who put themselves out there with their voice are those who should truly be commended. While it makes me feel vulnerable as hell, I know that uncomfortable position of either sitting down with someone and really letting them  know everything makes me stronger. It’s those who go out into the world, declare what they are going to do, and then do it who are the true heroes. Especially my generation and the one following me, we all hide behind excuses of “bad service…or didn’t get your text…” I am sure you have heard them all. What makes it even worse for me is I know people who have their phone strapped to their hip with quick loading tech so they can get to it as fast as Clint Eastwood to his six shooters…and I still see the ease in which communication can be dodged. I have been guilty of it, and it has happened to me.

Communication. Is. Key.

I have talked about this many times since the start of this project, but being able to express yourself to another is not a sign of weakness, I believe it is a sign of strength. Men, I have to talk to you specifically on this one. Being able to tell people how you feel and what is going on for you doesn’t make you less of a man. If you are out to gain respect, that is one way you do it. Otherwise, you end up like Don Draper on Mad Men with his life in shambles, chain-smoking and drinking all day. Sorry, but that’s not on my game plan. Women, I have an equally interesting view on this. I feel like a lot of the time you hold back for whatever reason instead of just putting it all on the line. I have had this really crazy innate ability to feel people s emotions (empathy) and I can tell when things are off. You could be smiling at me, but I know. Funny thing is I had someone close to me live about 600 miles away and I could just tell something was off. Maybe this isn’t a male vs. female thing. I mean it definitely does manifest itself in a variety of different ways for each gender, but I think you understand what I am trying to say here. If we all get incredibly vulnerable, and yes some of us will get hurt, but in the end, the amount of honesty and trust we garner in each relationship will grow incredibly.

I started off this post talking about accountability of actions and really giving it all my best shot. I could stand in front of you right now and tell you that I am practicing what I preach. There have been a few instances over the past week where I have truly needed to dig down and represent the Love, Passion, Never Quit mantra. If you read yesterdays, Love was a big part of the day.

I don’t believe in closed doors, I just believe in closed windows. Why? There will be some times in your life when a window closes, but you still get to look and see what is going on through that window. We all have the ability to open that window again…trust me. Sometimes you just have to invent new possibilities and find out new ways to make something happen. Doesn’t really matter the details, if you want it you will make it happen. So don’t slam a door on someone or something, but just create another window in your house. People will look in and see what is going on with you, and if you decide to open the window and say hi, then be ready to let the fresh air in. People come and go, this is just a fact of life, but always give them the opportunity to look into your life. There really never is good timing for anything, however, your reactions to life’s constant game of testing you is what truly matters. The goodbyes are never goodbyes…they are just future hello’s waiting by the windowsill.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project