The Heartbreak and Beauty of Leaving It All Behind

How saying goodbye to what we’ve loved creates space for new beginnings and helps us step into who we truly are.

Nov 08, 2024

You get this strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place.

Deep inside, you know that everything is about to change and nothing will ever be the same. Whatever you see now—every face, every detail, every place you’ve known—will one day turn into a memory. And you feel, through and through, that everything leading up to this point has prepared you for this moment.

I am here…but I’m not really here any longer. I’m gone. Long gone. By early tomorrow morning, I will have untied the last of the ropes—only to return if the tides of what is due in my life bring me back—if they ever do.

Lately, I’ve found myself in a place of deeper reflection. “Reflective days” doesn’t quite capture it. This is something deeper, something that’s hard to explain. It’s as if I’m in a space where all the forces of my life are converging, pushing me toward changes that I sense but don’t yet fully understand.

I feel a gentle, insistent pull—a whisper at the edge of my soul—a quiet urging of the heart that we sometimes ignore. These whispers have been calling to me for a long time. I tried them on, tested them, and found that they were parts of me all along, waiting for me to slow down, to really listen. Now, it’s time to let them in, to let them nourish everything inside me.

When you’re leaving a place, there’s always that instinct to turn back and look at what you’re letting go of.

Maybe it’s recent memories, maybe it’s things from years back. But the urge is always there, to take one last look, to see what’s slipping into the past. In my heart, I know what I am leaving behind. I’ve spent years writing about it, exploring it, and finally, finding peace with it. But now…I’m not all too sure if I’ll look back again.

This isn’t an escape. No, it’s more like a calm, loving parting. A farewell to all the things that have shaped me. I’ve come to this place by diving deeply into myself, peeling away the layers, stripping back to the core of who I am. And now, fresh pages are waiting to be written. New moments are coming my way. Love, passion, experiences—they’ve been entering my life like moths drawn to a flame.

It’s time to take my oars out of the water. To float, to stop fighting the currents, and to trust that I am being led exactly where I need to go. It’s time to embrace this grand adventure of soul.

This journey is no longer about reaching a destination, about getting to some mythical place where everything “works out.” I’ve come to realize that there is no final destination—just endless layers unfolding, like rings of a tree expanding outward, each one bringing its own lessons, challenges, and joys. The beauty lies in the process, in surrendering to the flow rather than fighting against it.

Something else has emerged within me lately—a quiet, unshakable faith. I won’t delve into all the stories behind it (maybe in future posts), but I can tell you this: it feels like freedom. A release. A softening of the grip on life, a willingness to let go and allow life to carry me. I’m learning that trusting in something beyond myself is not weakness—it’s strength. It’s faith in its purest form.

Deep feels right now. Deep, deep feels.

In this moment, I’m not without sadness. That always comes with leaving a place you’ve grown to love. I know I’ve fallen in love with this place—the people, the friends, the moments of pure joy and even the ones of agony. Forever, I will smile upon these memories, knowing they’ve shaped me into the person I am today, the person who sits here now, pouring his heart out.

Without all of that, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be ready.

And yet, beneath the sadness, there’s a deep current, steady and unyielding, calling me forward. It’s time to leave it all behind, equipped with everything I’ve learned, and to cast off into the unknown. No oars, just the guidance of the winds, the whispers of the heart, and a faith that grows stronger with every step.

I’ve come to understand that sometimes, losing yourself is the only way to find who you truly are. You think you’re the surface of the lake, the image you project, the ideas you cling to. But the truth is, you’re the whole lake. Every layer, every depth, every hidden current.

We’re off now. Into the unknown.

And if we never come back…

Thank you for the adventure.

Now go out and have a new one.

Intention: To embrace the process of letting go as a way to create space for growth, new beginnings, and deeper self-discovery.

Reflection: What are you holding onto that might be preventing you from stepping into the next chapter of your life? Reflect on the lessons and growth these things have brought you, and imagine how releasing them could open you up to new possibilities.

Practice: Take a quiet moment today to write down one thing, person, or idea you’re ready to release. Acknowledge its impact on your journey so far and express gratitude for what it’s taught you. Then, as a symbolic act, choose a way to let it go—whether that’s writing it on a piece of paper and burning it, saying goodbye in your journal, or setting an intention to move forward without looking back. Reflect on how this act of release makes you feel and how it shifts your perspective.

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Thank you for being here,
—Evan