The way you speak about yourself, to yourself, matters. That voice can either be one that is full of toxicity or full of healing. It can make things better or it can make things far far worse. Let me help you hear what’s inside…

The voice of the inner critic is the one that’s constantly spewing fear, doubt, worry, hate and judgement. It is the shadow. It is the balancing mechanism for our inner wisdom. The opposite side of the coin. And, in many different ways, it says, “You’re not good enough.” It knows exactly what to say to get under your skin and cause you to fall subject to fears (false evidence appearing real) and continue down the path of letting this voice tear you down.

The voice of inner wisdom is the one that’s soft but powerful. Wise, loving, compassionate and “knowing.” I call it the 95 year old grandma/grandpa version of you. It sees the truth through all the lies that the critic spews and speaks to you in short but powerful messages. It’s the deepest wisest version of who you are. It’s the guide towards the light.

Remember, one is the opposite of the other. You can’t get rid of the inner critic just like you can’t get rid of inner wisdom. They both grow and develop with you as you continue to change and move forward. But you can learn to work with the inner critic – to not fall prey to its toxic judgements – and to respond to its attacks with wisdom.

Just as your mom or dad gave you “the look” when you were acting up, your inner wisdom can do the exact same thing to the critic. “Heyyyyyy…knock it off.” Respond with powerful wisdom and truth. With love. With compassion. With joy. Your inner wisdom will help you see all of the lessons in the events of the past without an ounce of tearing yourself down.

Oh and by the way, your inner critic is pretty dang good at what it does. You’re going to fall to it from time to time. But get back up. Get back to your wisdom. Making this shift from judgement to compassion is the biggest change you’ll ever make in your life.

I can promise you that.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project