What is the story you’re telling yourself about what’s happening?
Without a doubt, this is one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself.
Humans are “meaning” creating machines. We create stories about everything. You have a stories about people, locations, household cleaning products, colors…and you definitely have stories about yourself.
There’s this line in Peaky Blinders where Tommy responds to his maid in a bit of a drunk rage (which is pretty common for him) “I know what this is. It’s just myself, talking to myself, about myself.” And considering how things were going, you could tell exactly which voice inside was running that conversation.
We have the voice of the inner critic and the voice of inner wisdom. I’ve talked about these plenty in other posts and the massive difference between the once that is filled with toxicity, fear and judgement vs. compassion, understanding and wisdom. Whichever one you allow to take the front seat in your mind will determine a whole lot about what happens next for you.
It takes a great deal of practice to even become aware of these voices and distinguish between the two. However, it’s some of the most important work you will ever do. When you’re creating stories in life, if they are rooted with unwholesome seeds, that experience itself is going to have a lot of negative effects and ripple effects.
So the most powerful thing you can do is to hunt out any negative stories you have and to begin to expand your awareness around them in an effort to come to a view that is much healthier.
It’s not about faking it or bs’ing yourself. It’s about searching deep within to hear the voice of reason and wisdom and see something for what it truly is. When you do this, you free up so much space in your life that was overrun by negative stories and perspectives. You open back up to possibility instead of retreating in fear.
So start small. Look at some of the narratives you’ve created about things and see if they serve you. If they don’t, challenge those narratives. Then, watch your world begin to change.
This is what we call “doing the good work.”
Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project