Failing hurts.

Putting your heart into something and it not working out can be brutal. But like with all things, if you take time to really sit and learn from the experience, you’re going to grow.

Losing at something can become one of your greatest teachers if you let it. You can learn things about yourself and life that you just can’t learn from winning. Of course you’re not aiming to fail. But knowing that it’s going to happen (and that it happens to everyone) is a huge part of moving forward.

While the events that took place can be difficult to deal with on their own, the real focus has to be on your interpretation of those events. The stories you tell yourself about what happened can either make things infinitely better or worse.

You’re in charge of that. Make sure you’re looking at it in way that truly serves you.

Here’s a few lessons from failure:

1. you can’t avoid it. it’s part of the process. if you’re playing on the field of life, you’re going to lose from time to time. embrace it.

2. what you do with it matters. you have a choice – judgement or compassion. choose judgement and you’ll never learn. choose compassion and you will gain wisdom.

3. it’s a teacher. let what doesn’t work help you discover what will.

4. you’re amongst great company. anyone who’s ever done anything in this world has failed. welcome to the team.

5. it can unveil your greatest qualities. compassion. courage. fearlessness. wisdom. relentlessness. determination. the list goes on.

6. you don’t have to like it. it hurts when you put your heart into something and it doesn’t work out. it’s okay to not be okay. see it for what it is.

7. it’s not the end. failure is an integral part of learning and a stepping stone to becoming who you want to be.

Remember, you’re going to fail. It’s going to sting. But that’s nothing to be ashamed of nor does it mean that the journey is over.

It’s just the beginning.

And if you never give up, you’ll get to where you want to be. Just keep at it.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project