What do I need?

What does the deepest wisest version of myself say?

When you can answer that question (and the answers might change every day) you are at the essence of self-care.

There’s a very common story that flies around in peoples heads (for many different reasons) that self-care = selfish. But they couldn’t be farther apart.

Self-care is about nourishing the deepest elements of who you are to make sure you can show up to the best version of yourself. Selfishness at its core is about caring about yourself only.

One doesn’t equal the other. When you can let go of the story that taking care of you is such a bad thing, you open yourself up to the possibility of finally getting what you need.

For most people, it’s like finally getting a sip of water after walking through an endless desert.

Pretty damn refreshing.

And the big payoff is this – when you finally start taking care of yourself, you vastly improve your capacity to give to and take care of others.

You thought you had a big heart before?

Wait until you start giving yourself what you need. Your ability to bring forward compassion, empathy, hold space and every other wonderful element of what makes you, YOU…will come to the forefront.

Give it a try. Answer those questions above. What does the deepest wisest version of myself say that I really need here?

Patiently wait and listen for an answer.

Then, and most importantly, go do it.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project