Every once in a while there comes a rare moment that shifts the course of your life permanently.

Let me tell you about one of mine…

One day my coach who I had been working with for a while couldn’t make her session with her own mentor.

Out of the blue she called me up and asked me if I would like to take her spot.

I immediately said yes. I knew I couldn’t miss that chance. So I wiped my calendar clean for the day and a few hours later drove to the depths of San Jose.

While being very excited, I had no idea what to expect.

However, as soon as I walked into her home office and saw her for the first time, I knew I was going to be okay because she reminded me of The Oracle from The Matrix.

I sat down and within minutes just started speaking from my heart. I told her everything that was going on. I shared my fears, doubts and worries.

I spilled out all of the secrets I had never told anyone.

The mask came off and I just sat there vulnerable, exposed…and yet felt safer than I had ever been.

It became very apparent to me in speaking with her how much fear gripped my life. Then, she did something I would never forget.

She looked me in the eyes and said…

“The things we run from end up owning us.”

I think there are a few moments in life when you hear something that couldn’t have come at a better time. This was definitely one of those for me.

Her words shook me.





She helped me realize that everything I was avoiding was running my life. It was tearing me apart. Everything that I swept under the rug hoping that it would just disappear was still there waiting to be dealt with.

It was never going to go away if I didn’t deal with it.

We are destined to continue repeating the mistakes of the past if we don’t spend time truly understanding how we came to be who we are.

But it all has to be done with a gentle heart.

You don’t have to spend your life looking into the past.

But for those things that need healing, go with love.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project