When I was little, my parents dragged me kicking, crying and screaming to baseball tryouts.
I was so afraid of going to do something new that I threw a legendary fit. They used to tell me that when I would get incredibly mad, you could see my beet red head through my platinum blonde hair.
And when I finally got there, I fell in love immediately.
Isn’t that something…that the very thing I resisted the most ended up being one of the great passions of my life.
Every ounce of my heart ended up going into what was once my greatest fear.
This year has been many things for me. But more than anything, I have realized I’m having another “being dragged to tryouts” moment, but instead of it being my parents, it’s my intuition dragging me.
I spent most of my life seeking answers to problems that no one seemed to have solutions for. The lack of answers at moments made me feel hopeless and broken inside. And that’s just the truth. For those who have had something taken away from them, something rooted deeply within their soul, they know a type of pain that others might not.
It’s easy for darkness, fear, hopelessness and despondence to take root within you and begin to overrun your joy.
And yet, while I might be incredibly stubborn, I have also been gifted with relentless amounts of grit. Sometimes, they battle against each other…but the search for answers continued no matter how many “No’s” I received.
It’s almost as I didn’t quite believe I had come across a “Yes” when it finally came from the most unexpected of places. I wasn’t ready for it. I discovered I wasn’t quite ready to let go of who I was in the sea of “no” because that’s what most of my life was defined by.
I was given what I needed. The answer laid on the table in front of me for well over a year. I tried to pick it up but I kept putting it back down. I was scared. The kid all over again being driven to tryouts. Refusing to surrender.
And here I am again. But different now. I know I have to surrender through and through. To let go…the message that’s echoed within my soul for eons. And I will.
Surrender. Let go. Batter up.
Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project