Avoid Life’s Pretty Wallpaper
Posted on December 15, 2022
Without a little bit of madness, your life is going to lack depth.
Without depth, it’s going to be hard to really grow.
And hell, if you don’t feel like you’re growing…things can get really messy.
But we are incredibly scared of this “madness.” You know, the chaos that comes with life. I’ve talked about it in previous lessons, but to reiterate, these are those dark times that really challenge you down to your core.
But your best stuff can come out of this place if you let it. That’s the tough part. That’s my job today – to help you shift your mind about these trying times.
When you get knocked on your ass, guess what you discover?
Your foundation…and what it’s made out of.
And truthfully, you only really know what you are made out of when the rug gets ripped out from underneath you, your heart gets broken, or something in your life falls apart.
But the problem is, especially in our society today, there’s an inclination to teach everyone to become romanced with the quick and easy fix or to simply “rise above” our pain. Things have to be “fixed” right now…but we are robbing ourselves of something incredibly valuable…
I mean really feeling it.
Because when you allow yourself to really feel something, good or bad, it opens up the doors for you to understand just how much something means to you. That’s where the magic is.
However, the more and more you try to rise above a situation or your pain…the more and more you disconnect from your emotions.
When you build walls to avoid specific feelings you have also deadened your ability to really feel the positive emotions on the other side of those negative ones.
There’s also a great danger in trying to “rise above” something when you haven’t done the work to really heal. When you engage in this you create this false ladder…and when life kicks your butt you go back to step down a rung and guess what?
There’s no rung…
You didn’t do the work to create that foundational piece.
So what happens…
Ahh! All the way down.
And for those who have fallen off of a ladder, you know how bad this can be.
The world we live in is full of chaos.
It’s a absolute mess at times and it’s a miracle that we can even keep ourselves together for most of it. It feels like we are all on the verge of complete breakdown day after day because of the complexity of what we are constantly dealing with.
However, when we slow down a bit to appreciate what is going on with our lives and sit in this moment, we deeply connect to what’s actually going on.
When we can connect with the present moment we can dive into ourselves much more easily.
Surface level foundations never work – try building a home with wallpaper.
When it all boils down to it, keeping your life on the surface level is not going to cut it when you want to do some serious development.
If you really want to make some big changes, you have to get down into the dirt and pick the weeds out yourself.
Life isn’t always pretty.
In fact, life can be incredibly dirty and murky a lot of the time. But if you don’t do the work that’s necessary to heal it will always be that way for you.
But in real things (thoughts, feelings, experiences) that have some depth to them, they are not wallpaper in any way. They have some madness to them. This is to be expected.
They are not predictable, certain and they are almost always completely surprising. They will sometimes rip the rug out from under you and at other times help you pop right back up when you are down.
It’s a bit chaotic, but that is the point.
The chaos is the art.
When you start to live in that place, your whole life becomes part of that painting.
Then, when you begin to accept that you have a role to play in this world, you can begin to develop the faith driven hand of the painter.
But you have to build your foundations first.
So it’s time to go to work. It’s time to focus more on building the strong foundation and support structure of your life instead of focusing on the outer layers.
Sure it’s easier to focus on those outer layers because they are cheaper (almost literally). But if you really want to make some changes…
You have to start at your core.
Action Steps For Today
Intention: Who Am I?
Practice: Self Reflection Exercise
This may require some thinking. In fact, it will require some thinking.
Tonight, I want you to write down a few of the more challenging experiences you’ve ever had in your life and underneath each experience, write out the answer to this question, “What did I learn about myself in going through this?” Sure, you may have learned some negative traits that came out, but I also want you to find the positives. What was evoked in you during this challenging time?
PS. If you’re feeling a bit “stuck” in life right now and looking for some help in navigating through your challenges, here at the 7 ways I can help you as a life coach www.1on1withevan.com