Not everything that comes back around is meant to stay in your life. We attract all sorts of different things. Not all of them have your best interests in mind. So it becomes incredibly important to learn how to say “no.”
Strong. Healthy. Boundaries.
We aren’t looking to build walls. Walls, while they do keep things out quite well, also tend to trap things in. When you try to block out fear, doubt, worry, anxiety etc. you only suppress your compassion, joy, courage and other wonderful qualities as well.
Instead, think of healthy boundaries like a big golden protective net.
The net’s holes are big enough to let things in that are meant to be there and yet they are small enough to catch what’s meant to be put at a distance. As you walk throughout life you learn more and more what’s meant for you and what’s not.
But that’s not the end of this.
Life has a funny way of testing the boundaries you created. It’s almost as if it says, “Oh yeah? You’re feeling quite confident that this person isn’t meant for you or that you won’t do that anymore? Well…let’s just drop that right thereeeee and see what happens.”
And then all the speculation goes right out the window and you actually have an opportunity to step up to the plate and back up what you said.
Or, not.
Which is a lesson as well.
You’re not going to be perfect with this. No one walks into this world knowing how to set healthy boundaries. They are either going to come on too strong or not exist at all.
But find the balance.
Find where your “no” comes across as wise, compassionate and strong.
Boundaries aren’t set out of fear. Those only end up limiting and hurting you. Boundaries are there out of love.
They are created with the best intentions in mind. It’s about honoring your experience and what your wisdom tells you. It’s about making distinctions between compassion and tolerance.
So, be mindful of the things that come your way and how they fit into your life.
Evan Sanders