A handful of years into my new journey, despite some early success, I was getting my butt kicked.
I hit some pretty bad rough patches and got stuck in this place that I couldn’t get out of. I felt trapped.
There was an endless cycle of setting big goals, followed by short bursts of perfectionism which were then ultimately sabotaged by paralyzing fear.
Then, I would start the process all over again hoping for a different result. I’m not exaggerating when I say that this loop went on thousands of different times.
I knew I was in a trap but I didn’t know how to get out of it.
I was following all the advice I was being given. Go to seminars, listen to speeches, read the self-help books, but there was always that impenetrable wall I couldn’t get past.
I don’t know what it was, but something inside me came up with the idea to burn the ships and go to school to become a professional life coach.
Since I couldn’t help myself, maybe I could learn directly from those who helped others? Maybe that would help me get out of the pit?
My first day of class, I will never forget this, I was matched up with this amazing coach and I just dumped my heart out to him in front of everyone.
I told him everything. I told him how lost I felt, how I didn’t think I could get through this, how bad I was feeling and that I didn’t know which way was up. I put it all on the table.
What happened next would completely change my life.
He told me this exact story.
He said, “Imagine you bought a Ferrari but you never drove it and just parked it outside. After a few days you would walk out and go, “Ah my Ferrari.” After a few weeks, maybe it’s pretty dirty, but still a Ferrari. After a few months and then a few years there would be weeds, bees, squirrels, mud and dirt all over it and you might recognize it. But maybe after 10 to 20 years, you could walk outside and not even recognize that under that pile of dirt is a Ferrari. You might even think it’s a Fiat.
He went on to say, “You see, all of the pain and suffering you’ve gone through, all of these stories other people have told you about who you are, the things that have happened and the formulas you’ve tried to follow, have led you to believe that you own a Fiat. But you’ve always owned a Ferrari, and to find that again, you first have to remember that you never lost it. Then, you have to give it a good wash.”
In that moment I felt this click. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head. I realized that the equation we are given is broken.
I had been taught my entire life to look outside of myself for answers as if I was deficient or had to prove my worth. I was taught I had to “do, do, do” and achieve things to be satisfied with who I was and that would make me happy or successful.
But what I was never told was that the spark and happiness I was looking for, was here. Because I was never taught that, I headed down every wrong path imaginable chasing shadows and hollow achievements. That’s why I was failing. I had lost my connection to what was within.
This rocked my world.
I knew what he was saying was true and that I just needed it to work one time and I would be encouraged that there was a different path for me.
I went to work on uncovering that “Ferrari,” cleaning it off and removing everything from my life that didn’t serve me. I sifted through old stories, memories, bad habits and the things that held me back.
Eventually, I got down to the very core of who I really was. I found that confidence. I unearthed that sense of belief I had lost since I was very little. I could see that iconic red paint again.
Soon after I reconnected with that childlike fearlessness I had disconnected from all those years ago, I finally achieved a decade old dream I had failed at thousands of times before and I knew it was because of this nugget of wisdom I had been given.
Even though achieving that dream was the most incredible moment of my life, it was finding that spark again that changed me forever.
I finally had access to the best version of myself and I could take that with me anywhere. I finally found my Ferrari.
But this isn’t just my experience.
I coached a wonderful woman recently through the same “loop” and here’s what happened when she finally connected with her true self (her Ferrari) after having spent a lifetime trying to prove her worth to others through achievements, awards and everything else we are told that will make us happy.
“My life has completely changed. I can’t believe how my mindset has completely shifted after a relatively short time. I’ve done so many things in the past, but it was this gentle push in the right direction that helped me finally get it all in place.”
How cool is that?!
But you might be thinking, “Well, Evan that sounds like a lot of work though?” But the truth is that these shifts don’t need a massive amount of work to happen. Even the simplest of stories can have a huge impact on your life and change the way you see the world.
Or maybe you’re like, “Well I lost my way a long time ago, what if it can’t get it back?” Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve disconnected with your confidence because it’s always there waiting for you. It’s ready for you to tap into it. All you have to do is connect.
That’s the power of this secret. When you come back here and connect with the gifts you already have, your confidence unlocks and everything starts to move in the right direction.
Evan Sanders
If you’re looking for some help/support with life right now are are interested in learning more about how my 1 on 1 private coaching sessions work, please go to www.1on1withevan.com