It took me a long to to get to the place where I could do this.

It took me thousands of failures, a rollercoaster of up and down moments, many false starts and an equal amount of recommitments.

But I’m finally doing it. I’m finally locked in.

I don’t know if this is the way it is for everybody, but I find the first week of starting a new journey particularly difficult. It’s like the mind has so much momentum of living in the past ways of being that when you try to start heading in a different direction, there’s this undertow that tries to rip you back.

But once you get through that phase, and for me it’s usually about one week, it almost feels like it’s the easiest thing of all. I guess that’s what momentum does for you – it realigns you on the path you have chosen and gives you some staying power.

Fear is one powerful thing. I think back to all the times that I have tried and failed and realize that much of those missteps were rooted in fear.

I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to let go of what I was doing – even if it was temporarily – because I liked the safety of what I knew.

And yet, there was this other side of me that was almost begging me to let go and to finally set myself on a course that would heal me on the deepest of levels.

I know that this is part of growth and part of the process. Once you work through one thing there’s always another to move through. That’s just the way it is.

I’ve come a very long way since the beginning of this all. I’ve taken it upon myself to face my deepest fears and no matter how uncomfortable I got or how many times I failed, I continued to come back over and over again until I broke through.

Fundamentally, all that I am right now is built upon the back of failure and will.

Success was only an outcome of all of those times I fell and got back up.

I can see the value in that. I understand that this has given me a perspective that allows me to relate to almost everyone. I also see that having this resilience – and having broken through many of my own boundaries – gives me the ability to help other people navigate through theirs.

For the first time in a very long time, I can’t see what comes after this. I think that’s a gift. I also think that’s a sign that I’m doing exactly the thing I was lead to do.

I’m on the right path. My conscience is clear. My intentions are pure.

This way, I know I can make it right.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project