Now, I Understand
Posted on December 12, 2019
The other night I sat down on the couch to watch a movie and came across The Matrix (a movie I’ve seen probably 10 times) and know like the back of my hand.
Or so I thought…
I’ll spare you all the plot details, but something strange happened while I was watching. I heard something that I’ve never heard before.
Morpheus looks at Neo and says, “There’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.”
I sat there…stunned…like a sack of bricks had hit me.
I had heard what I needed to hear at the perfect time.
The Universe was speaking to me.
There’s something about hearing the truth – the pure truth – and how it resonates deeply within your heart and soul. For some time now, I’ve been walking on a new path that I know is the right way to go, but there’s been some hesitation.
There’s been a lot of fear that has come up surrounding all of this and to be honest, I haven’t always been able to work my way through it successfully. I’ve succumbed plenty of times to its grips and it has stopped me dead in my tracks. It doesn’t feel good but that’s the just the truth.
Through all of this though, I’ve learned so much. I’ve learned where my weak spots were, the mind games that cause me to sabotage my progress and been given further clarification each and every time of what I truly need to do.
I know the path. I just have to walk it…and walk it with full commitment.
Joseph Campbell, one of my favorite authors and mythologists once said, “Follow your bliss. If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.”
In my heart I know I am meant to make a big impact on the world and help people become who they are truly meant to be. I know that’s why I’m here.
But I also know that in order for me to do that, I have to work through my own fears that have held me back for a very very long time. I’ve been driving with the parking break on and it’s been wearing me out.
My greatest victory over this past year was deeply knowing what I was supposed to do and not discarding the message. While my execution of that truth was flawed and quite human, I am still proud of the fact that I dug deeper and deeper until I found something I’ve been searching for all my life.
I mean that when I say it. I’ve been looking for a very long time.
What stands in front of me is an opportunity to get it right. I know that in order to break through my fears I have to commit myself on an extraordinary level for a period of time to give myself the amount of momentum needed to take me all the way home.
It’s a funny feeling knowing that the task in front of you will change your life forever. I know I will never be the same again. Maybe that’s where some of the fear is coming from. While there have been many points in my 30 year life that I’ve felt were path-altering, I know that they don’t even hold a candle to this.
I get to change course in a way that brings me back to the path I’ve been always meant to travel.
Everything that I’ve been through, no matter what it was, has taught me how to be a better human being in so many different ways. If it wasn’t for writing – a place where I could seek wisdom and understanding – my life would look very different.
I know I’m not who I am meant to be yet. But I am getting so much closer.
I know that I am full of light and that already shows. While I am flawed, I do my best to put hope back into people’s hearts.
And when everything that has held me back falls to the side…
We will see just how light things can be.
The Better Man Project