Posted on September 3, 2019
I’ve come too far to quit.
I’ve come all this way and now have a chance to gain something that I may have never had.
This one scene of my life continues to play over and over again in my head…
“You mean to tell me there’s miracles?”
Of course there are.
It has been one very interesting road to get here. Thousands upon thousands of hours of learning and digging into areas of life that I never could have predicted.
The answers were a bit strange.
Not strange in the sense that they were bizarre and hard to understand. More strange in the way that they are so unbelievably potent but virtually unknown.
I didn’t get here alone. Far from it. I got here with a handful of mentors who, once again, I could have never predicted finding. My lone wolf story was blown right out of the water and now I’m learning how to be a good student again.
Which brings me to this…
The other day when I was thinking about my struggles with consistency, I came to a particularly interesting insight. It suddenly dawned on me that my difficulty stemmed not from discipline (I’ve got that when I’m locked in) but rather from trust.
After so many countless examples of having my trust broken, it’s incredibly hard to hear guidance, walk completely and utterly off the beaten path and trust that it’s all going to work out.
Time and time again I felt like my heart had been ripped out…and I don’t know if you can resonate with this feeling, but when you physically feel your chest – like it’s being pulled away from you – because you’re in so much pain, you really don’t want to feel that again.
I’ve felt that feeling so many times…and because of experiencing that, I’m trying to give myself some grace in my inherent aversion to heading into the waters of the unknown.
That doesn’t stop the calling to trust.
It’s still there, ringing away.
All I know is that it takes time to build back trust. Step by step. Brick by brick. It’s not all gained back overnight. You’re still going to have to work through all of your old baggage – a lot of which is there for good reason – and have the courage to navigate what has been avoided for so long.
But on the other side of all of this is a new way of life.
You’re really going to have to work with it.
Miracles do happen.
It just takes trust.
The Better Man Project