I need you to give me everything you’ve got.
I need you to find that extra gear within yourself, to dig a little bit farther into your faith and to trust that this is the right path to travel.
I need your undivided attention.
Trust. Trust. Trust.
Faith. Faith. Faith.
This moment reminds me of three quotes that have always helped me move through times like this.
“To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour.” – Winston Churchill
“You must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul. What I say is true – anyone can cook…but only the fearless can be great.” – Chef Gusteau, Ratatouille
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
There is this resiliency in me that refuses to die. No matter what I go through and how many times I fail, there’s that drive to get back in the ring over and over again.
Truth is, I’ve gone through a thousand failures lately.
It’s not that they aren’t teaching me anything. They are. But deep down within, when I’m all alone and only have myself to answer to, I know that I can do so much better.
I know that I have to do better.
Way back when I started writing, the drive to become more came from a place of insecurity more than anything else. I was comparing myself to other people and the poisonous roots of “deficiency” planted themselves deep within my mind.
But as time has gone on and I’ve cut away all the distractions, there’s just me and my spirit left. It’s been that image of who I could be that’s been driving me ever since.
I have to be honest with you – it’s been a challenge to step up and go to bat.
There have been many times throughout this journey that I’ve been told to take a step back and come down a level.
Even though I hear this advice, and in many ways I know it’s coming from a good place, it’s hard to describe what you “see” to another person. They are only looking at you from an outside perspective. They can only see through their filter. They won’t be able to see those dreams and feel those deep pulls from within the soul to move in a specific direction.
For the longest time I ignored my intuition because I just wanted to be accepted. Then, I learned that no matter how much you change yourself to be liked by other people, they still won’t like you for some reason. I also discovered that the people who are truly meant to be in your life will love you for just being who you really are – so why not just be that?
But that relationship with the voice inside still had some work to do.
It could be echoing throughout my soul for years and I still wouldn’t listen. Sometimes you just want it to shut up. But at the end of the day, you know it’s the right thing to do. You know it’s only speaking the truth.
I haven’t given it everything I’ve got.
I’ve been scared to.
The tradeoff for that is living a life just underneath of what I’m capable of. The “tired” part of me sabotages and quits. The “awoken” side of me pushes me right back onto the field.
And then there’s that voice again…
Faith. Faith. Faith.
Trust. Trust. Trust.
Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project