What Exists Just Beyond That Door
Posted on July 18, 2019
It’s been a long time since I’ve been here.
Nearly half a year.
But in that time, so much has happened. I’ve changed in so many ways. But most importantly…
I finally broke through. I finally saw what was around the bend.
Let me take you back a bit.
When I first heard that call to head to the mountains and spend time alone, I wasn’t sure what I was going to find. It turned out that the entire experience served as a mirror to who I really was.
No illusions…just a perfect mirror image serving up an unflinchingly realistic view.
I saw who I had been, who I was and glimpses of who I could really be.
And then, the cycle started.
See the hard part about seeing your potential is that you can never unsee it. It’s there constantly right in front of you and it serves as an unforgettable and often maddening reminder of what’s ahead.
So when I saw those things, I scratched and clawed my way forward to try to become them. I was challenged at every turn, thrown back into the pit every single time I fell out of alignment with my integrity and then rose up to learn and practice more and more.
I committed. Failed. Recommitted again.
Hundreds of times.
Over and over again.
And every single time I tried and failed, eventually I got back up and tried my best to answer the challenges that were ahead.
But none of this was easy and it took me countless amount of tries to finally get it right once. Right after that, I learned my next lesson.
Persistence gets you there. Consistency keeps you there.
I have admittedly not been the most consistent person when applying new knowledge and practices in my life. There’s often this gap period where who I was gets in the way of who I wish to become.
In many ways, I believe that’s the process of development and change. There’s always going to be a gap between where you are and where you want to be.
But where I can really grow is in the process of traversing the river itself.
During this time up in the mountains, I discovered that I had this story that played itself over and over in my mind that went something like this…
“Tomorrow is Day 1. Better engage in (insert habit here) one more time.”
Then, “tomorrow” would come and the following story would arrive…
“Well, maybe tomorrow instead. Not today. Today, one last time.”
This happened more times than I could remember.
When I look back on this, I see exactly what was in my way.
My relationship with sacrifice and discomfort.
What I was asking myself was not by any stretch of the imagination easy to do. This wasn’t like I was trying to do a simple task. I was asking myself to compete directly with my potential and to go through hell and high water.
What made it even more challenging is that I experienced glimpses of living up at “that level” for a while and because of where I was in my own personal development and a lack of proper information, the experience was far harder than it should have been.
Another learning point.
It’s not just enough to want to set sail towards your goal. You have to have a good ship, the proper information, equipment and people surrounding you who know what the hell they are doing.
When you have those things, you can really make some pretty incredible things happen.
No matter how hard it was, I stuck with it. I kept going. I stayed true to the cause and I did eventually break through. It wasn’t pretty, but I did. For that, I’m incredibly proud.
But sitting here now looking back on it all, I can see where my blindspots were and how I can grow moving forward.
Trusting in the process and perfecting your craft is often born through failure after failure. Getting it right the first time doesn’t teach you anything. But here’s what really teaches you something…
Staying with it no matter what.
Pounding on the doors of your dreams time and time again despite being rejected entry (even by your own doing).
In many ways, my life has changed dramatically over the past two years. But right now, sitting here writing again, I see something completely different for what’s just around the bend in the future.
I see something I’ve been wishing for my entire life.
I see that it’s real. I’ve claimed it for myself. I’ve spoken it into existence. I know exactly what I have to do to make it happen. I have the guides and the tools with me. Now I just have to put the final piece into play.
I’m willing, ready and able to pay the price.
Because I see what exists just beyond that door.
I can almost feel it.
Here we go.
The Better Man Project