There’s this fine balance…

No matter what, things are going to change and you have to learn to go with them.


You also have to learn how to fight for what you know is right.

This can be a bit tricky. How do you distinguish between the moments where you go with the flow and the ones where you start moving against the current.

For the longest time (and I’m still working on this) I couldn’t find that balance. I didn’t know how to let go and to move with it. Instead, I fought like all hell against just about everything.

I could accept change. I wanted things to go the way I thought they should. Because of that attitude, I was actually limiting myself like crazy to what was truly possible for me. Even though I thought I was a big picture type of guy, I wasn’t even getting close to seeing the whole thing.

But that still leaves the question…

How do you know when to move with things or fight through them?

Your gut.

Not your head.

Your gut.

You have to go to the place where your inner wisdom lives. You have to get out of your head (not leaving it behind completely though) and start to tap into the deepest wisest version of who you are.

And how do you get there?

Well, the best answer I have for you is to get very quiet.

Go into solitude. Go into the mountains and the forest. Quiet your mind down and seek the answers there.

If you ask the questions, the answers will come in time.

You might have to wash away many old bad habits and ways of thinking, but if you’re patient, what you need to discover will arrive. That’s exactly what happened to me in one of the strangest ways of all.

One day I was just hiking, about 9 months into this journey and I just suddenly felt like I woke up from a dream. It was like I was pulled out of this groggy state and started to see everything much more clearly.

After this moment, I then had to work through all of the guilt and judgement that I was getting attacked with internally (thanks inner critic), but from that process and finally seeing what I needed to see…the picture became a whole lot bigger and clearer.

Now I was seeing the big picture.

Don’t fear change.

It’s just how it’s supposed to be.

Learn to work with it. Learn to move through it and let it take you where you need to be.

You will learn all that you need to.

Trust that.

It’s worth it.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project