Footsteps.

Footsteps into a new place. A place I’ve never been before. These are the desert sands. These are the shifting dunes that speak to my soul.

Unknowns.

Whispers.

Solitude.

Silence.

I hear them welcoming me to something I’ve been called to do for such a long time. Quiet down. Seek and discover. Knock and open. Ask and receive.

These past few days have been littered with realizations about my life that have only come at the hands of making big changes. The clarity that has arrived has connected dots that only just short time ago seemed scattered and lost.

I still have questions.

I have questions of which path to take as they come closer and closer to me as I walk through this next 40 days. But I’m going to leave those questions off to the side while I step into this fast. I’m going to allow the answers to arrive when they need to. No pushing. No pulling.

I know, when the time is right, they come to the surface as a bubble climbs its way upward from the depths of the ocean.

You can’t rush that.

You can only let it be.

I don’t feel alone anymore. I feel more connected. I feel this deep underlying sense of love that has always been there and will always be there. I plugged myself into something deeper that I suspiciously avoided for so long.

I think that’s the way it has always been meant to happen. The denial of the call and then finally answering the phone that just keeps ringing and ringing no matter what you do. You can try to avoid what you know deep down inside but the truth always stands. It always shines as a beacon of light despite your best attempts to dwell in the dark.

It’s easier to just step in.

Sure, you may not know where you are for a time. That feeling of being lost might arrive at moments. But that’s the point. You’re beyond where you once were. You’re past what you’ve experienced before. You’re growing, and with that, comes all of the greatness involved with adventures.

I’ve never done this before.

I’ve never gone on a long fast.

I’ve never had the discipline to spend such a long time allowing my body to heal and to regenerate. Until now.

I have no idea what to expect.

I have no idea what’s going to happen with my body, my emotions, my thoughts, my spirituality. I’m running on faith and with guidance from a very spiritual healer I am in contact with.

For me, that’s enough – the faith more than anything.

For me, I know that answering those deeper callings always leads to something great. I trust that. I know that I can do this. I also know, that in some way shape or form, this will drastically change the course of my life.

Here’s to finding out what that is.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project