What if you could turn darkness into light?
An alchemy of the soul.
What if you could take the worst that ever happened to you, the darkest of moments where you always believed that no such light, joy, love or anything else was present and bring out something good in them?
Wouldn’t that be some of the greatest magic you’ve ever come across?
In ways, I think that would be more valuable than turning basic metals into gold. It would be, a different type of value…not monetary or materialistic…but a birthing of happiness.
I think over thousands of posts and captions on different social outlets that’s really what I’m trying to do with my story. I’m turning the hardest of moments into lessons. In one of the books I’m reading, they call this “Turning Difficulties Into The Path.”
This is my journey. This is my path. And, I think over a long period of time, I’ve come to accept that everything that has happened, good and bad, are all part of me. They are to be embraced, accepted and understood instead of pushed away, rejected and buried into the depths.
As I’ve come into contact with these stories, they have changed.
There’s something about bringing them to the front of your mind that makes them shift in a way. But even more, there’s something about bringing them into the light that exposes them in such a manner that they truly begin to disintegrate and you see them for what they are. Lessons. Areas in which you can learn.
But if you keep them locked up, they fester and cause havoc in so many different areas. They show up in relationships, your health, and your mind begins to crawl with weeds of the past that slowly take over.
The process of getting rid of those weeds takes a long time.
If you don’t get rid of them they will just stay there forever.
That first initial dive into the weeds can feel like it’s going to be the most overwhelming thing ever. There’s a lot of pain there. There’s a ton of old stories that you may feel are far too much to tackle. But the truth is, once you get going on unboxing one thing after the next, it all becomes a lot more manageable than you thought it was going to be.
But you have to breathe.
You have to breathe through every single moment because if you don’t and you tighten up it’s so easy to let everything consume you.
When I was surfing in Portugal, I remember going out on a particularly big day (14-17ft) and my 16 year old Portuguese guide was really pushing me to challenge myself. Just being out in waves that big was an experience. Unfortunately, everyone in the lineup got absolutely ruined by a sweeper set and took wave after wave right on the head.
This was my first time having this experience and all I can tell you is that I was a big panicked.
When a big wave is about to crash down on you, you have to dive as far down as you can to get under it and through it. You naturally get tossed around. You have to keep calm because you’re holding your breath under water and looking for which way is up.
I took 7 waves over and over and over again and by the time it was done I was about cooked.
I could hardly breathe.
I was absolutely gassed from paddling and taking a beating.
But I got through it. I learned a very important lesson that day.
You can’t panic.
You have to maintain your breath and stay calm.
If you don’t, you could drown. Simple as that.
Life works very similarly. When chaos arrives, you have to actually calm yourself down more than anything. You’re going to take a few on the head. That’s expected and that’s okay. But it’s your breath and your willingness to settle yourself down that’s going to help you get through it.
You’ve made it through every single bad day you have ever had.
I want you to think about that.
You have.
No matter how bad it got. No matter how bad the experience was. You made it. You survived. Pull strength from that. Pull wisdom and courage from that.
Every single difficulty has been a lesson for you to learn from.
Use it.
Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project