For A Thousand Years

My heart has been here a thousand years, it just took me 27 to finally catch up.

I’ve been wandering through the streets at night never feeling more at home. There’s a feeling here, like arms wrapped around you in the perfect moment. It’s a feeling I’m sure will come with many other places, but there’s just something about these streets. Even walking them late at night you’ve never felt more at home.

I can’t sleep.

Part of that is me trying to get used to new sleep patterns – literally the exact opposite of being at home. But the other part of it is that everything is changing in my life and it’s beyond exciting. I am wide awake in many different ways and can’t possibly shut my eyes for more than a couple of hours without being egged on to go outside and explore.

My first weekend here, I lived.

Lived in ways that I had written all over bucket lists in my mind. I did things that I’ve always wanted to do and spent time with people who spoke to me in so many different ways. I connected, deep into the ground, making this place just as much of my home as anywhere else I have ever been.

You would think that it would be hard to adjust to a new place, but like I said before, I feel like my heart has already been here for a thousand years.

It was just waiting for me to show up. It was waiting for me to get here and finally plug in.

There is something very very powerful about this time right now.

It’s not that the seeds of change have been planted – those were planted a long time ago when I decided to head in this direction. It’s that every single day I am watering those seeds and immediately seeing something come out of the ground. When everything is new to you, and you have the ability to relax into all of that without letting anxiety run everything, adventure becomes one of the most addicting things in the world.

There’s the challenge though right? Being in something without letting anxiety run you…

I have no special trick for this except for staying passionately curious about everything. When you maintain your curiosity, you’re far less nervous about things not turning out or coming in for the kill. You’re just excited. Excited about whatever may come your way. Sure that may be a disaster, but better to be on the field of life playing the game than being someone who is just sitting in the stands watching life go by.

I won’t have it for myself.

Florence has done exactly what I knew it would to me – re-energized by blood.

Something has come alive in me. Awakened. A fire burning within.

It’s time to burn the whole damn thing down. It’s time to do it all with love.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project