take a risk

My life has been a series of stories.

As you could imagine, as the one who is living in the story itself, things get pretty interesting at times. But they haven’t just been a collection of any type of stories. They have been page after page of some of the most meaningful, challenging, raw and truthful moments of my life.

They are stories that make me know I am alive…alive in a way I never could have dreamed of all those years ago when I felt cold and dead inside.

Stories that no matter their delivery, end up allowing my heart to bloom and continue to burn with a fearless love that ignites others as well.

Some enter into my life and see the story I am in now.

A few have been there since the story began.

The story wasn’t always bright and happy. In fact, for a great deal of the time it was very dark.

I learned things in that place.

I learned the value of things through their absence.

I learned how to love by being unloved.

I learned the importance of having passion when I was completely lost.

I learned my value…when I felt like I had none and that I wasn’t worth it.

But I think as time goes on, as I sit in these moments more often, I realize that I have understood one thing that never really seems to disappoint.

Let go of knowing.

 

Let go of knowing what’s going to happen. Let go of being attached to assumptions and expectations. Let go of thinking you know how something is going to turn out. Because the truth is, most of the time it goes in a completely different direction than you ever thought it would.

Time after time those moments have come and one throughout my life where I have only been in the moment as it arrived and had absolutely no idea where it came from.

But this goes far beyond just staying open to moments happening. It goes far beyond the idea that if you stay open to anything happening…anything could happen.

It’s about speaking your heart in those moments.

Let me tell you another story.

Once upon a time I was so locked up I couldn’t tell anyone anything that was going on with me nor did I want to. I was shut out by everyone and therefore I did the only thing I thought that could protect me – I built walls a mile high and pushed away anyone that got to close. I hurt people that way. I hurt myself that way.

Then, as time went on, all my walls started to fall down and I was left completely exposed. No one saw me for who I truly was but myself. But that was enough to know that I was lying to myself and trying to be someone I wasn’t. I knew that in time I was going to have to actually look myself in the mirror and create who I had see. No one was going to do it for me. I knew at the time I was completely full of it wearing a mask in all of its beautiful colors.

And as the years have gone on, and the facades have fallen away, I’ve come to understand that there’s nothin more important than leading with your heart.

There are thousands of reasons why something won’t work. You don’t need to spend a great deal of time searching for those to find them.

But there’s something special about the one, or few, reasons why it will work.

There’s something about having faith in the fact that no matter how complicated or tough a situation might be at that time, that the one reason you found will be enough and worth it to try. And even more, when that reason resonates with your heart, you have something you can put your love and trust behind.

Not many people trust their heart.

They believe that their heart was the thing that got them hurt badly.

But the truth is, it was the nasty tricks your mind played on you to convince you not to listen to your heart that got you hurt. The heart always knows what’s best. Time to leave. Time go stay. Time to dive in. Time to take a risk. It understands things that your mind could never even comprehend. It’s something to be trusted. It’s something to be adored.

For a long time, I felt like something was missing.

Maybe it was circumstance that created this, but ever so recently that feeling changed. I felt like I came home. I feel warm inside. And the truth is, I have no idea what’s going to happen. In my heart of hearts I know what I want. But I never know how it’s going to go. I can only keep looking up to the sky asking to be taken care of.

That’s faith that I never had before.

These stories of my life are perfect to me. Some are covered in tears. Some are flooded with laughs. But they have all landed me in a place where I can speak my heart no matter what the situation is and live with a love and passion that lights me up inside.

I didn’t know what to do with myself for a long time. I had tried just about everything, but as I have come to find out time after time, this heart of mine wants what it wants. There’s no telling it otherwise.

Not many people take risks with their heart. They don’t want to get hurt again. But the best thing about taking a risk with your heart is this…

It could be the greatest adventure of your life.

And to me, that’s worth it.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project