Posted on April 19, 2016
A single moment.
A choice. A decision. And in that decision, everything shifts.
The truth is, for the longest time I felt stuck, stagnant, trapped in something I couldn’t quite understand. But the other day it struck me – I had been putting off my masterpiece for quite some time.
Now you may ask, “What is this masterpiece you speak of?”
My masterpiece…be it far from perfect, is living the type of life that I absolutely love living. The expression. The art. The writing. The risk.
But after I had been beaten down by life, I had lost a bit of that fire. That “want” to put everything out there and to just go for it. My edge was dulled. And because of that, I held back more and more and procrastinated on what I knew was the absolute right thing for me to be doing.
I think we’ve all been there…
Putting off our deepest sense of fulfillment.
But for what? What is even a decent justification for allow ourselves to hollow our souls out through inaction?
Nothing worth anything really.
But struggle I did.
However, there was a strong settling of the ashes that had been shot up into the sky from earlier times. I remembered who I was. I reconnected with what was most important to me and I healed pieces that hurt dearly.
Pieces that till this day I will probably never understand how they got that way…but that’s okay. I don’t need to know. Because I already know.
Once in every great while, there are huge events in your life that somehow change you down to your foundation. You may know what they are in the moment or you may understand months to years later.
I have come to understand this past time as something I needed to really allow myself to take the next step into the fear and continue moving forward no matter what.
I have been afraid.
I’ve been very very afraid.
That fear has paralyzed me time and again from moving into what I know I have been put on this planet to do. And yet, as any athlete knows…it’s not how you start the game, but it’s about how you finish.
My procrastination has ended. I’ve found what I really want to do for this next piece, a realization that had the magnitude of starting this entire project in the first place, and feel completely comfortable heading into the unknown with it.
I have absolutely no idea what is coming for me, but I do know who I am deep down to my core. I know what I am meant to be doing.
I’m doing that once again.
The writing is pouring out.
The work feels like play again.
The fog…while scary at times…is encouraging me more than frightening me.
It’s a new day. It’s a new time.
The Better Man Project