Putting yourself in other peoples hands is not a sign of weakness. This is coming from a guy who had the world of a time learning this lesson. But what I’ve found time and time again after I’ve put myself into the hands of those who care about me is that they love helping me. They love offering up their advice after I’ve spilled my guts about everything that is showing up for me. They love helping me shift my perspective. Greater than all of that tough, the just love being there and being supportive when I need a pick-me-up.

These moments do arrive at my doorstep once in a while and I know when I need to ask for some support. I know when to reach out when I’m confused and need a sounding board. I know when it’s time to let someone offer me a new perspective on a blindspot that I’m dealing with. I know I have a blindspot and today up in the city I was helped with that. Better yet, helped with that blindspot by someone who knows me incredibly well. And where we arrived together was pretty interesting.

It’s about how you see it.

This shouldn’t be much of a surprise, but it’s a lesson I needed to be reminded of.

Wayne Dyner once said something to the effect of – if we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. My perspective on many things is changing right now. My relationships with many things are changing as well. Yes there have been great struggles in the past and I’m sure that they will continue to surface over time, but the truth of the matter is that I’m continuing to grow and change no matter what has come my way. There have been times where I didn’t think I was going to make it out and sure enough I battled through it and came out a better person for it.

The things that have really changed for me are not so much circumstance but rather how I see and approach situations and events. I don’t even know where to begin in mentioning how different it is from all those years ago, but I can tell you the effect is has had. While I do get stressed out, I don’t react as much. I act. I act with intention. I’m aware.

I used to go blindly through life without looking at the current circumstances or possible future challenges that may occur if I took a specific path. I just floated through like a stress reaction to everything and pretty much “winged” life. Always on the go. Always just shifting from one place to another. But when I slowed down, stopped juggling everything and actually started to ask myself what was really important for me…I learned a whole lot about connecting. The more I slowed down the more I connected and the more mindful I became.

What tends to surprise people about all of this project – the social media, the writing, the videos etc…is that it is only a fraction of what is going on in my life. Sure I can come to the table and write something about what’s happening for me, but even the writing doesn’t really touch what’s really going on inside. I don’t know if any words could really describe all of what’s going on in my life. There are constant thoughts, ideas and emotions that run through me and 99% of those never end up said or end up on paper.

The mystery of my life is unknown even to me…how in the world do you think you could possibly have me figured out?

Shift the way you see things. Shift the way you look at them and everything will change. Shift how you view the world and your world will change.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project