Closing In On Dreams
Posted on October 1, 2015
I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for these moments that are arriving. I feel like I’m about to launch.
It was the 11 year old version of me that came up with the first significant vision I ever had (besides baseball) where I saw something for myself and decided that I was going to go get it. What I didn’t know back then is that I would have to become someone completely different than who I was to accomplish it. These past 15 years of having this vision in my mind and going after it in one way or another has been one of the most challenging, frustrating, and gratifying things I’ve ever done. What absolutely blows my mind is that I am officially 24 days away from making that vision come true, a moment of such magnitude for me I have no idea how it’s really going to effect me.
I have a gut instinct that it’s going to rock me down to my core and I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.
This has been, outside of that single vision, a very challenging life. There have been many many incredible things that I’ve had in my life and many things that I have now, but it has been hard. I’ve been tested, knocked down, tripped up, stepped on, walked over, and everything else in the books. I’ve felt stresses you couldn’t imagine and pressures that felt like they were going to break me.
And yet despite all of this those dreams seemed to live on. They continued to whisper to me, no matter what I was going through or how far away I was from accomplishing them, that it was possible. That I was possible. That the life I was dreaming of was possible.
There have been a handful of decisions that I’ve made in my life that didn’t make much sense back then logically, but I ran with my gut and they make total sense now.
I can see that trusting in myself and those intuitive feelings inside always landed me right were I needed to be. That intuition came up against my mind so many times and yet whenever I really needed some help in figuring out which way to go, I trusted myself. That lesson has been invaluable lately. Recently, I’ve had to dive farther and farther into those gut feelings to really understand which way I should go and what I should do with myself. Those instincts haven’t always been easy to trust…but in the end they never let me down.
They are telling me many things right now. In fact, they are telling me more and more to “see what is here” instead of looking for what is missing. When I think about that, I realize that nothing is missing at all and I’m in such an incredible place. When I’m living in the world of gratitude my world itself changes. I have a lot of things to be grateful for and appreciative of and I’m reminding myself more and more that this is the case.
I’m closing in on a few dreams all at once.
This has been overwhelming at times and incredibly exciting at others. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the prospect of what could happen in the future, but I keep coming back to what’s going on right now and bringing myself into this moment.
Doing that keeps my feet on the floor. Doing that keeps me here. And that’s where I belong – in the trenches fighting the good fight.
The moments are coming.
I’ll be waiting, ready, able….willing to strike.
The Better Man Project
Sometimes I think trusting one’s gut or internal guide is a smaller scale version of trusting in life, in the idea that life is supporting us. That is hard when bad things happen, but as you allude to, there are greater forces at play that may be beyond our understanding or perception. The part you mentioned about appreciating what is here rather than focusing on lack, reminded me of this Lao Tzu quote (I’m on a big Tao kick lately, ha ha): “Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” I guess that means the world within and beyond. Thanks, Evan, and keep going.
I ignored my instincts for so long and I am beginning to see how powerful they are. Good for you! Keeping honing those intuitive skills. They are our best guides!
you are getting closer every minute. Love seeing this happen for you.