3 AM Musings
Posted on September 28, 2015
Very rarely do I get woken up with the strong desire to write. It has probably been a year plus since this is happened but I always pay attention to these moments when they happen. Every single time I am woken up around 3-4 am dead awake something comes of it and it’s usually pretty significant.
Yesterday, without my knowing it, was the 1 year anniversary of when I finished my 100 day eating clean challenge – something that catapulted me into the rest of what this year has brought. When I look back on this year, starting that challenge and actually following through with it completely was one of the most significant moments of my life. It wasn’t about the working out, the lifting, the food challenges etc. – it was about setting my mind to something and getting through it “no matter what.”
I did get through it and it significantly altered my course.
I came out of that going, “What else could I do? What’s possible for me?”
I found a trainer, succeeded in another 12 weeks of grueling training which landed in a photoshoot, looked at other aspects of my life and started to build those as well, surrounded myself with incredible people, started a business, started building a dream on the side that is inches away from being finished and found my world opening up more and more as time went on.
When I think back to this year, it is truly the most meaningful year I’ve really ever had. So much has happened I couldn’t put it all down here even if I tried. The interesting thing is, I can see where the path split and the decision that made it all possible. I didn’t know all of this was going to happen when I made that decision, but I am sure as hell glad that I did.
Forever, this quote above by T.S. Eliot has been one of my favorites. It has been something that kept my mind wondering for years what was really possible for me and what I could possibly accomplish if I wasn’t so afraid.
When I look back on 5 years of writing, I see that when I started this whole thing, the proportion of the steps I was making back then are just as big as they are now. The things I was writing about, the things I was discovering, and the challenges I was undertaking were just as monumental to me then as they were now. I struggled back then significantly to begin – to get the clay moving – and I remember that feeling of gaining momentum. It has been the actions of that man 5 years ago that has given me the momentum to do what I am doing today.
I can’t thank him enough.
Because when I walk into the gym today, there’s a deep focus that never used to be there. When I coach my clients, there’s an understanding and loving connection between us that never used to be there except between me and my closest friends. When I go out into nature, I’ve taken care of my body to the point where I can tackle obstacles, climb mountains, explore….but most importantly, I can connect with what’s around me because I’m not so winded. When I eat my food, I respect what I’m putting into my body instead of filling it with junk. When I dream, I can see what I’m capable of and know what it takes to see it through.
All of these actions that I’ve taken over the past 5 have helped me get to where I’m at right now, with some serious momentum, on the bring of doing something that could drastically change a lot of things.
There used to be some frustration with feeling “stuck” in the past, but the more and more I look back the more I realize that stuck isn’t even close to what is going on right now. Sure I might want to move on with a few things, but what’s happening right now is I’m being primed to rocket farther than I could have imagined. I’m being prepared for “it all to pop” or to “burn the forest down” (metaphorically of course) with everything that is going on now.
Hard to tell you how I know this…but I just know.
So where am I at now besides hitting 4am right on the nose. I am at a place of much more understanding and clarity of why I’ve been brought to this moment just as I am. It has been one hell of a ride so far, but I have a feeling that these next 5 years are going to be something much more incredible. It will have been 5 years this February 9th starting The Better Man Project, something that even I knew all those years ago was going to change my life after the first 30 days of writing.
I’m in a good place. I’m being taken care of. Now it’s just time for me to continue taking care of business.
The Better Man Project