Right now, there are powerful, almost unspeakable, rhythms at play. There are significant changes in the macro forces that run my life as well as the up-close-and-personal details, the fine strokes of what makes me…me…changing as well. These changes were preceded by a significant amount of chaos. But in the end, isn’t that true for all transformation – really? Things continue to unsettle before they can once settle again. At least, this has been true for my life time and time again.

And yet despite all of these outside forces at play, there’s also my internal pressure that is creating  tectonic shifts as well. I have connected to something which is helping shift things into position but at the same time there is this newfound wisdom or energy within that has allowed me to get out of the way of myself and begin shaping what is in my hands. For the longest time I felt like I was spinning my wheels because I was chasing after things that were not in my focus. This unfocused “focus” drove my off the tracks of the direction I was supposed to head in – the direction I’m heading in now – and in a stroke of artistic disaster derailed me in my life.

That derailment ended up being a life saver despite the fact that the train cars piled up on one after another.

Sure, there was significant damage and pain because of that…but the reality is this – if that train hadn’t derailed and piled up on itself, it was heading headstrong into a chemical factory or some other type of explosive warehouse and the damage would have been catastrophic.

Sometimes, the “worst” things that happen to us – those life events – are saving us from something much worse. I’m not saying that this is the case all of the time (let’s be fair here) but I am saying that there are a significant amount of things that happen to us that derail us from paths we aren’t supposed to necessarily be on. Whatever that reason may be, we have a new opportunity to either get back on the path that truly resonates with us or find that path in the first place.

The worst news can be the good news.

For this to be the case however, you have to be willing to accept your condition. What does that mean? You have to be way things are. It’s really hard to do the next step – accepting that life doesn’t have to be this way if you can’t truly come to terms with the fact that you have this issue, this problem, this way of being. Change doesn’t come from a place of deep denial. Change comes from a place of acceptance…acceptance that this is the way it currently is and that there could be a different way. It took me many many many years to get to a place where I had to come to terms with the fact that I had demons inside of me that I needed to work with. I continued to chase this place where I thought everything would be okay and that all of my problems would disappear…wrong.

In fact, moving didn’t do the job. Moving just carried all of those issues with me. The only thing moving did was change the geography of where I was, and in turn, where my issues were.

I don’t believe that there need to be Herculean efforts made to change your life.

I do, however, believe that it’s a good thing to have a guide or a coach to help you see what you cannot see. But Herculean efforts? No…leave those to the 92% of New Years Resolutioners who fail every single year. Instead, identify where you are at (essentially audit your life) and then identify where you would like things to be (goal set). Then, create daily actions that will help you bridge that gap. Will you not know what to do along the way? Of course. But will you have access and resources to all of the things that you may need. Yes. You can learn just about anything these days. It’s all there for you if you are willing to put in the work every single day.

That seems to be the greatest challenge of all.

We have a lot of people who are obsessed and excited about something, but not many who are willing to be a part of the daily grind that is necessary to achieve those big dreams.

No matter what, be willing to come to the table and bring the best you have that day. It may be 60%…bring 100% of that 60%. You might not be feeling great – do what you can do. Some days are not going to be as good as others – fine. But if you beat yourself up about not being perfect every single day, and you quit, you went from being on a journey to failing simply because there were unnecessary and overwhelming inner-critic forces at play.

Run little rabbit run.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project