Whenever we a traversing new territory, there come times when you begin to understand that the small pits of those paths are always going to show up. Over the past few weeks, I’ve come across one of those pits…maybe we can even call it a lull or even doldrums if you will…and have been feeling the moment coming along where I know that I need to step it up. But I will let you in on one truth about this project that has been there since the beginning – it can be exhausting at times – and I’m going to tell you why.

I am constantly being tested.

Whether that is by my own design or by something else’s…the fact is the tests keep coming. They are endless. I am growing…but a good chunk of that time I am in the mode of growing pains vs. anything else. While I do lift and try to push my body as much as I can, my soul goes through aching pains at times. The more and more I tune in with myself, the less and less I am able to push this away and pretend like it’s not there. That’s a gift, and yet, it uncovers some pain…some situations that are in limbo…and a whole lot of acceptance and letting go of what is or what once was.

It can be a struggle and if I was to be 100% honest with you, it can put me into personal bottlenecks in terms of my output of what I really wish to place out into the world. It can make me choke down on the effort of building dreams and while I still do take baby steps every single day (a victory in of itself and another blog altogether) I know that I could be making different strides.

This has been a reality for quite some time. A reality that I have to work with constantly and allow to exist while there is flaming passions in the back of my mind for things that I really want to do.

So I struggle through this sometimes. I have a very motivated mind that says, “Lets go!” and sometimes a burnt out body that goes…nuh uh not right now. I guess where I am growing is starting to understand the wisdom in my body being able to really tell me when it’s time to rest and when it’s time to go out there and make things happen. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been that tuned in before in terms of body wisdom but this is just something for me to continue discovering over time.

I wanted to put this out there tonight because I want you to know, if you didn’t know already, I struggle as well. I really struggle at times. You can even take it as far as to say that I suffer deeply. But that suffering is something that connects me to everyone. It helps me understand what other people are going through even if I don’t really know their entire story. I feel for others who are going through hard times and really need support. I’ve been able to feel those feelings for a long long time. The reality is I have been in this place so many times that I know with a little bit of a plan and a dedicated decision to start moving forward, I will be fine. But I think it’s important to acknowledge the fact of where you are right now…especially with having an audience who may be looking for some guidance through a rough time of their own.

So let me say this…

Be gentle with yourself.

It’s really easy to bring yourself even further down when you are going through things. Honestly, that is your inner critic running wild and tearing you apart. Instead of beating yourself up that you aren’t doing what you need to be doing…accept it…then make a decision to move forward. Even if there are small steps being taken, still move forward. It’s okay that you aren’t taking massive leaps – even those can be unsustainable.

Dream big. Really go for it. Even if you are all over the place for a time, just stay consistent and it will eventually happen.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project