There is nothing more beautiful, amazing, and inspiring than being around women who have something awaken within them – a journey, a calling, an adventure. I’ve been pretty lucky to spend a lot of time with strong women – even raised by two who I would do anything for – women who have their own dreams and despite all of the things they are fed mentally by our society, strive anyways. They are unique themselves in a world that is training them to be like everyone else. How incredible is that? Above all, these women act as moment by moment integrity checkers for men, oracles even, and if you can surround yourself with a group of strong women, you will grow beyond belief, have your head lovingly cut off when you aren’t being the best man you could be, and you will experience life itself and its vast array of experiences. Like the ocean they change and shift by the second, emotions and thoughts swarm…let that help you find your solidity. They will test you with their darkest moods and feelings – only to have them feel that you are immovable, the mountain, always going to be there no matter what and firm in your purpose. These are gifts, not hinderances. These relationships create you, but if you deflate – they will destroy you. Seek them out – don’t be intimidated, women can move mountains. They are to be cherished.

The dynamics of my life in moving with feminine energy has changed almost 180 degrees for many reasons. But oh how I have shifted inside. Throughout the course of my life, I highly identified with feminine energy because I had two very strong and powerful women in my life – my sister and my mother – who are deeply driven and talented in what they do. I even had a female dog who was my best friend when I was little and tended to get along with women better than I did with men in school. I took the best from my father as well, equally as driven, thoughtful, artistic and motivated and became a product of my environment and nurturing.

As I went through the turmoil of my younger years, I was “all that changes and shifts.” My moods, my attitudes, my emotions, and thoughts…I have described it many times…were like a tornado inside of me that refused to quit. Even when it did stop momentarily, back up it would fire again. Combine that with lacking deep purpose after my baseball career ended and a big mess was made. So I crashed like the ocean for a while…and eventually found my way to writing.

But recently this dynamic shifted religiously as the bubbling up of my purpose came to me and I began to read, understand, and practice what strong masculine energy actually was. This has not only opened up my world, but has opened up the worlds of the men who live around me. There’s a concept that has entered into my mind that has stuck with me for months now, and it’s the concept of the mountain. That solidity – the type that I wrote about a few posts back when I had the density of the entire world inside my solar plexus – and identifying with what doesn’t change in this world. The undoubtable stability of being completely grounded in your position, a mirror to life itself, empty and ready to express his deepest passions and purpose – which is the expression of love itself.

When a man finally begins to understand this concept, I can tell you…mountains don’t move in front of him…he becomes the mountain. Whatever happens around him swirls and yet he is completely calm, comfortable, and continues to be rooted in his deepest desire. That is what has happened with my life. That is something that I will be teaching to my male clients come June. To be able to find your purpose is far more than something that you are going to do for work – it’s going to be a direct leader in your life and will influence your relationships, your friendships, your family dynamics, and how you show up in the world. It did for me. As soon as this hit – bloom – unfold – open – closing the chasm – joy – honesty – integrity – perseverance through anything.

And here’s really where I get to the part about women, the relationships that exist with masculine energy, and my understandings as they are now. By the way, just to get this completely on the table, BOY HAVE I MADE MISTAKES IN THE PAST. Good, now that we are clear on that, let’s move forward swimmingly.

Women are like the ocean. They shift, change, and adjust by the second. In a moment, a peaceful ocean can turn into a series of rogue waves. As a man, you are there in your tiny ass boat wondering how the hell you’re going to climb up that wave before it crests. These emotions can be deep, they can be dark at times, they can be wonderful and everything else in between. Women are life itself. They offer, literally, what it means to be alive. Why do you think they call it mother nature? Everything that shifts around you is moving energy, a type of energy that is uniquely feminine and can be accessed – I’ll get to that in a minute. But those waves for men who do not understand what it really means to be the captain of their ship can rock them straight out of their boat – I can’t tell you how many times i have deflated and been tossed out of my boat or even bailed before the wave hit. But give a man a purpose, and that wave begins to look like fun. Moreover – and this is the access part – that wave can inspire your deepest purpose.

This is the part that has changed my life completely.

Every single day I sit down and write, as you may have noticed, and i am completely driven by a type of energy that is very very different from anything else that I have experienced before. I sit here in my little chair outside on my porch…close my eyes, and breathe as deep down into my stomach as I can. I find that density – that solidity – emptiness. There’s this type of energy that if you focus on it deep enough, it’s almost a low frequency lull…that is incredibly deep and powerful. A wavelength that has existed far before all of us and one that will be here forever after. I can feel it circulate through me sometimes when I am on the mat. Then, I open and observe the things that are going on around me or begin to run through the days events – tapping into all of the things that changed – and get inspired by all of that energy. That energy runs straight through my writing – and yet, all at the same time, I am here, completely grounded in my place – living as if I was already dead.

Fear, in my heart, leaves.

There I am, grounded, in my deepest purpose, completely and utterly inspired by the women around me and that feminine energy…creating, loving deeply, and open to all of this uncertainty. It’s this dynamic, the one between the masculine and the feminine – and my tapping into both – that has taught me more in the past couple of months than anything else. This has opened me up, changed my relationships, and helped me continue to discover parts of myself that I never knew existed. Floods of people have showed up in my life and I can see all of it morphing, only to know that it will all change and pass…and that’s perfectly okay.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project