There are these little remnants, flickers of memories and moments of something beyond happiness, that float through my mind like flashes in the sky during a thunderstorm. I love these moments. These moments, despite anything else that may arise throughout my days, keep me focused on a reality that is far beyond any doubt, sadness, or pain. That reality is this – love deeply.

Endings always make you think of beginnings – how things began, where they climaxed and the start of the denouement. I know I myself in the past used to get wrapped up in the endings, but that’s changed for me as I have written page after page throughout the years. I’ve come across something that has soothed everything inside of me no matter the circumstance…

How incredibly lucky I am to have had something which makes saying goodbye so hard.

A long time ago, I wrote something about the attractiveness of beautiful white pages ready to be filled with new adventures and stories. It really is true, we have that opportunity every single day. But in order to write on fresh pages, we must end our old story. As hard as this can be it’s the only way you can start fresh and sit down to passionately write tales of dragons and adventures, heroic deeds and tragic downfalls, and capturing the hearts of those around you. These stories for me have been hard to write, but I am feeling up for the task lately.

Resolve to begin before you are ready. Am I ready at this moment to pack everything and go? Really, the answer maybe just as hidden to me as it is to you. Maybe that’s an answer in of itself. But is the thirst for a new adventure there – yes. That itself tells me it’s time to go. If we always look back at the home we have now, we never really are able to see the land in front of us – the mountains, the valleys and rivers that track the upcoming landscape. Looking back, while bringing forward great times of old, only ends up holding us back from what we can do now. Let those moments arise when they do – forget the bad times and give praise to the good. At least, for me, this is what helps me run through my days.

At times I feel like I am being directly challenged in the toughest of ways. I take a minute to look up into the sky and with a little bit of a laugh and a splash of seriousness I ask “really?!” This seems to be a weekly occurrence where I have conversations with the heavens wondering what the hell they are up to. But there’s a lot of faith there as well. I don’t try to change what is happening, instead, I just let it happen.

There’s an interesting balancing act between being open to the possibilities of life and trying to manufacture what your future is going to look like. Recently, I have learned quite profoundly that the danger of goals and ambitions is living forward too much. You end up not appreciating where you are at this moment because you always want to be a week ahead of a month ahead of where you are. Love where you are at now. Love who you are right now. Honestly, that’s the only way true everlasting development and deepening begins to occur. The now must be appreciated in great detail before the future.

You can get yourself stuck in the past. Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve lived there many times through many years. Thankfully I was able to yank myself out of that. But I can honestly still see it in peoples eyes. I can see the pain welling despite any smile or indication of a different life. You can’t call these things out really – you just have to learn how to be there for people and they will come to you when they wish.

I’ve recognized that a lot of people come to me when they are at their worst and need support. A while ago I didn’t understand this, and in fact I was quite confused by it because when they became happy again they would leave. it took me a while to finally realize that I was doing exactly what I needed to be doing – to help people see the stars when they were at their darkest. That is something I am willing to take on, even if it means people exiting my life on their own journeys when they are ready.

Hold the people you love with open palms…in time, if it’s right, they will come back to you.

That sentence above, is something I actually understand about how life works. It’s happened to me time and time again, and the cyclical nature of everything has continued to prove it to be true. All you can be, when it comes down to it, is as open, truthful, and loving as you can possibly be. People will exit. Sometimes they will exit despite everything you ever wish for. But they always, in one way or another, come back if you lovingly let go. It’s the hardest and most dense lesson I have ever learned in my entire life. Sometimes it feels like something is ripping straight out of your heart – like velcro detaching itself. It stings, it hurts, you suffer…but if you can love people through all of that – well, you are bound to not only do amazing things…but to love yourself just as deeply.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project