How To Build Confidence
Posted on April 16, 2015
What is confidence?
It’s the ability to have rip-roaring faith through anything.
But how do we develop that confidence? Even more, how do we start to ask ourselves what our definition of confidence is? Lastly, how do we get to a place where we don’t even have to ask, “What is confidence?” because were are functioning from a place of knowing and being instead of always searching and grasping for answers?
Webster will tell you, when you ask it to define confidence, that confidence is
: a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something
: a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something
: the feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true
I love all of those definitions, but what really strikes me and what I really want to talk about today is the last definition – that feeling of being certain that something will happen. That’s a pretty amazing feeling when you get it. I especially want to talk about being certain in times of great uncertainty – aka when it all hits the fan and you are wondering what the hell just happened? Yeah, those times. The challenging times. The times when you feel down and out. How can we bring self confidence into the equation and get back up, continuing on the road to big time “umph” without letting that life thing tear us apart?
If you are thinking on the subject of how to gain self confidence, you first have to let go of the limiting belief that life is happening to you…instead of it just occurring. You have a part to play in this world and I can promise you that not everything is out to get you. Things just happen!
Believe it or not, it’s true. You will be going throughout your day and for no reason at all you will be blindsided by something, and that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. To expect a world with so many moving parts not to break down once in a while is absolutely absurd. Entropy is a really true force…along with chaos. Things will naturally fall apart because they are supposed to. Religious teaching after teaching teaches us that we have to separate ourselves from our attachments, because all things come and go.
Give yourself the ability to start seeing that life works in many mysterious ways, always changing, always morphing, and you will be on the road towards answering the question of how to become confident.
But it honestly goes farther than understanding that everything is moving and shifting. Deep down, you have to identify with an energy that is running through you – an energy that doesn’t exist in your mind and in your emotions – that what you feel is right…I mean really far deep down inside, is what is your guiding force in life. This place takes some time to get in tune with, but when you do your actions are reasons for doing things become a whole lot more pure.
For me, this is a place that I have been tapping into lately, and it’s changing my life each and every day. I am recovering from life events faster, my weaknesses are strengthening because of this energy, and I am able to keep my head up despite similar circumstances happening that would have crushed me years ago. There’s a deep routed confidence that everything is going to turn out alright and there’s no reason to stress.
And there really isn’t. Just as much as things change (maybe to your liking or not) they will change in another direction. You can guarantee that. So if something has “traditionally” screwed up your “plan” good…because you needed that shake up. When lifes you, which it seems to do all the time, understand that your reactions to things and the way you look at things after that painful feeling is simply a representation of your deep insecurities inside. So next time you are down, watch yourself very closely to see and feel what is going on inside. Those feelings, those thoughts, those emotions, expose your greatest weaknesses. Like I said, good. Good…good…good. You are growing.
Through that growth, you will be able to breathe new light, love, and…the point of this whole article…confidence and umph into your life.
Get out there. Get bruised up and covered in dust. Hold your head up high, smile, and speak from the heart. If you can do that, you can be certain through uncertainty.
The Better Man Project