At times it feels like life is standing still.


I’m not saying this as a negative thing, but rather as a new thing that I have never truly understood or allowed myself to deeply experience. The emptiness of thoughts. The emptiness of emotions. Just, here. And for whatever here may be, it’s one hell of an amazing energy to experience. I’ve been talking a lot about meditation lately because of the amount of experiences I am having doing it, but there is something very very different about the type of energy you experience when you are empty and deeply connected. It roots deeper into you than anything else. You may be feeling all of the anxiety in the world, you may be on top of the world today, but when you sit, and you sit still and just be with everything in your life, you can start to feel a special type of flow.

I’ve spent almost 1,000 posts writing away about what is going on in my life and the thoughts, feelings, events, and emotions that come along with it. Those posts have been packed with all sorts of realizations as I have accessed the depths of myself. Last week, my purpose made itself aware to me as I opened my eyes for the first time and took a peak behind the curtains. What I found was that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing, and that most of the things that I had planned in the future were simply extensions of my “giving of love.”

And that’s what I am up to in this world – giving love and light.

For me, being in the place I am right now, I understand that I have a tremendous responsibility to not only go through with what I know is deeply rooted in me, but to those who believe in me as well. There are hundreds of thousands of people who know what The Better Man Project is and have followed me because of my mission. Spreading light and love.

There is going to be a significant amount of development with The Better Man Project over this next few months and the following half of a year +. I am opening up to clients for professional life coaching, I am finishing my certification for ACSM fitness training, and beginning to put out my ideas and advice on things instead of just writing purely about life’s situations. I guess I am going to teach a little bit more about what helps me get results in my life.

I am not perfect. Oh no I am far from perfect. But for me, I know that I have something much more valuable. I am willing to error correct constantly. I think that is essentially the name of the game in this thing called life. Do something wrong – correct. Do something write…trust me something wrong will come along…correct it again. Correcting your wrongs is a great thing! Don’t be afraid to make mistakes because then you will never learn. I know that personally for a long long time I was afraid to make mistakes and look bad in front of people. Well, that type of living was demolished a long time ago. Now, I make mistakes more than every – because I am constantly trying new things.

Don’t quit when things get hard. Right outside of your comfort zone is where you are going to grow the most. When you feel like you are being stretched and can’t take it anymore, just slow things down a bit. Try to relax and pull everything back just for a short amount of time. Speeding up does not help you a bit. When you speed up, and we used to talk about this in baseball a lot, you tend to lose your center and your body feels detached from you. But when you take a moment to slow down and breathe, you can really get that connection back even though things may be going haywire around  you. I think this is incredibly important when working and spending time with people as well. Often of times we get caught up in our own lives and all of the things that we have to do…that we forget to appreciate and show the people right in front of us…right this second…love and compassion. Love deeply in every moment – as deep as you can. If you are in pain, try loving yourself and as many things as you can. You heal so much faster by giving and sharing your love versus shutting things down.

Take this from an expert in this field. I spent more time shutting down and closing myself off because I thought I would be safe in my cocoon than letting people in when I was struggling and allowing them to take care of me. Sometimes, and I knew this deep down, I just wished someone would bring out their helping hands and handle me with the utmost care and just help me breathe. I wanted to feel their love and that would settle many things that were going on. But if you decide to shut everything down or start deleting people from your life, well, you in fact are going to be far worse than you were before. It’s better to struggle with someone that loves you than to run from someone whose willing to fight for and with you.

Life is a team sport. Sure players get traded and injured…but you are on the field with your team. You can be the best pitcher in the world, but you are still one of 9. So bring some teammates into your life and start appreciating the positions they play. Some of those relationships are going to be absolutely critical. Loving relationships. Family relationships. Friendships. But you need all of them. You need those support mechanisms in your life because without them, you start to feel a deep and empty feeling inside.

So nurture yourself – of course – but don’t forget that the greatest gift another person can give you is allowing them to nurture you and bring you up. Coming from personal experience, I know how much this fills my heart.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project