Ahh one of the greatest lessons I have ever learned. I love looking back on this one because theres about 5,000 different stories I could tell right now. Here we go.

I think the mark of a mind that understands its soul is it’s ability to adapt, adjust, change, and morph with a situation that is going south…all directing it towards a positive outcome in the end. Things can get out of control really fast. If there’s anything that reminds me of this the most, it’s probably some of the misunderstandings and arguments I have had with girlfriends in the past. Sometimes you leave those arguments going “How in the world did that all just happen?” Feelings get thrown into the melting pot and you have a fiery tornado mixing with an atomic bomb all at once – feelings and even relationships are bound to get destroyed.

But how do we get there?

Things tend to  tumble out of control when we are not in control of ourselves.

That line is so relevant to me I might just have to write it again. Things tend to tumble out of control when we are not…in control…of ourselves. Life and relationships are essentially actions and reactions to things all creating an output. Like I said, things get very complicated when agendas, even good ones, and feelings don’t match up or build off of one another. One person wants one thing out of something…the other wants something completely different. Or even…you both want the same thing, yet their is a communication breakdown and you never realize it until it’s to late.

Things started to turn around for me when I began to understand what I was about inside.

Might sound a bit silly, but it’s true. Maybe it was all the times that I succumbed to losing myself in situations that I really understood how amazing it feels to have control even though you may be hurting inside. I guess my mind frame changed from trying to win an argument to trying to get a positive result. Through it all, I learned that when you truly believe in the foundational characteristics that create yourself, you can bank on those when the sh*t hits the fan.

I learned this while working in customer service for a couple years.

The best way to predict what is going to happen in your life is to create the best possible present version of yourself that hopefully matches up with that potential person you dream of. What I mean by this is, you have to be that person right now…the individual who competes with their potential, if you want to have any chance of realizing that dream.

You can be anyone you want to.

A lot of kids these days are looking to people that I truly believe they shouldn’t be looking to. Where are the legitimate role models in the spotlight these days? All of mine disintegrated with the baseball steroids scandal…even some of the athletes I revered outside of baseball fell to it. Who did that leave me to look up to? I had to find new people who had some salt behind them. The point is, the characteristics that will get you far in life are not always the sexiest ones to the spotlight. Having integrity isn’t going to get 10,000 instragram likes, but it will allow you to sleep at night. Being on time won’t make you trend on Twitter, but you might just land that dream job because you were punctual.

We are looking at the wrong things as motivation.

Look inside and be your own hero for a change. Learn to save yourself and understand that virtue and wisdom are two of the only things that really matter in this world. If you focus on the dancing shadows of materialism, you will certainly succumb to the miserable lives that many live. Even though you may be shrouded in the finest silks and jewels, you body and soul will be empty thirsting for something it cannot achieve.

Love deeply and passionately, and when it hits the fan, create the outcome and don’t fall subject to the negative.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project