It’s a strange feeling. This feeling that I have inside of me. It’s this feeling that something bigger than my body needs to be unleashed. Maybe it’s my soul. Maybe it’s something even greater than that. But there’s this feeling. This feeling that I have to continue to make sacrifices…not add things into my life. It’s the feeling of a beast within. Not something that’s negative, but somethings that’s very very positive. A beast of light if you will. 

Last week I talked about how quiet and lonely things were getting. But then I was reminded of this poem. Please read it. It will change the way you look at a lot of things. 


By Angela Morgan

When Nature wants to drill a man, 
And thrill a man,
And skill a man.
When Nature wants to mould a man 
To play the noblest part;
When she yearns with all her heart 
To create so great and bold a man 
That all the world shall praise –
Watch her method, watch her ways! 
How she ruthlessly perfects 
Whom she royally elects;
How she hammers him and hurts him, 
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay which only Nature understands
While his tortured heart is crying and he lifts beseeching hands!
How she bends, but never breaks, 
When his good she undertakes. . . . 
How she uses whom she chooses 
And with every purpose fuses him, 
By every art induces him
To try his splendour out –
Nature knows what she’s about. 

When Nature wants to take a man, 
And shake a man,
And wake a man;
When Nature wants to make a man 
To do the Future’s will;
When she tries with all her skill 
And she yearns with all her soul 
To create him large and whole . . . 
With what cunning she prepares him!
How she goads and never spares him, 
How she whets him, and she frets him, 
And in poverty begets him . . .
How she often disappoints 
Whom she sacredly anoints, 
With what wisdom she will hide him, 
Never minding what betide him 
Though his genius sob with slighting and his pride may not forget!
Bids him struggle harder yet. 
Makes him lonely
So that only 
God’s high messages shall reach him, 
So that she may surely teach him 
What the Hierarchy planned. 
Though he may not understand, 
Gives him passions to command. 
How remorselessly she spurs him 
With terrific ardour stirs him
When she poignantly prefers him 

When Nature wants to name a man 
And fame a man
And tame a man;
When Nature wants to shame a man 
To do his heavenly best . . .
When she tries the highest test 
That she reckoning may bring
When she wants a god or king! 
How she reins him and restrains him 
So his body scarce contains him 
While she fires him
And inspires him!

Keeps him yearning, ever burning for a tantalizing goal –
Lures and lacerates his soul. 
Sets a challenge for his spirit, 
Draws it higher when he’s near it
Makes a jungle, that he clear it; 
Makes a desert that he fear it
And subdue it if he can – 
So doth Nature make a man. 
Then, to test his spirit’s wrath 
Hurls a mountain in his path
Puts a bitter choice before him

And relentlessly stands o’er him.
“Climb, or perish I” so she says. . . . 
Watch her purpose, watch her ways!

Nature’s plan is wondrous kind 
Could we understand her mind . . . 
Fools are they who call her blind. 
When his feet are torn and bleeding 
Yet his spirit mounts unheeding, 
All his higher powers speeding, 
Blazing newer paths and fine; 
When the force that is Divine
Leaps to challenge every failure and his ardour still is sweet
And love and hope are burning in the presence of defeat . . .

Lo, the crisis! Lo, the shout 
That must call the leader out. 
When the people need salvation 
Doth he come to lead the nation. . . . 
Then doth Nature show her plan 
When the world has found – a MAN!

The nights are quiet. The days are quiet too. I find it at first uncomfortable, but I have grown to love the silence. In the silence I hear the voice – the one directing my path. I hear the ideas and the chattering telling me to more forward in such a way. It is uncomfortable for a while, but then, when all the dust settles, I find my nerve again. 

The moral of the story tonight is that you have to trust in the process. Only a few are daring enough to head into the abyss and try to create what is theirs. It comes with rough waters – waters that will test you beyond your wildest dreams. 

For me, I am the captain of a ship that has sailed a few times, but has never gone on the grandest of adventures – the one that I know I need to take. There’s no preparing for what is ahead except knowing that you have the strength in your back to take on what confronts you. 

Tomorrow, we cast off. 

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project