There’s this idea that I have heard many times that always makes me think. It’s the concept of going with the flow of things and just seeing what happens.

I’m telling you, it gets to me every time. I have honestly thought about this over and over again in regards to my life and what I am up to…and I always come back with different answers on what type of concept I should try and adopt to see what happens.

I have met very carefree people who go with the flow.

I have met very determined people who recede from life to accomplish a goal as the ocean would ebb.

And I have met a few…very special people, who crash like a massive wave and seize opportunity when it arrives. 

Up until recently, up until about 5 minutes ago actually, I tried adopting these ideas singularly and was left with some pretty interesting results.

When I just go with the flow, life ends up taking me places…and a great deal of the time they are places that are great, but at the same time, they are not in direct accordance with my vision and my dreams. 

When I recede from life, I am miserable without communicating with a lot of the people I have around me, the 10 who serve as my right and left hands, the supporting cast, and then the people on the outskirts. When I disappear, I feel like a piece of me is lost. 

When I crash, when I seize, I am happy. Incredibly happy. I start to feel something clicking when this happens and I honestly would separate this quality from the other two because I feel like the moments in this life that truly are meant to be seized come irregularly and they are very special. These moments were meant for you to either take them or watch them pass. 

It’s amazing to me, how the concept of a trifecta comes back into my life over and over again. Mind, body, soul. Love, Passion, Never Quit. And now, Ebb, Flow, Crash. 

The latter idea has truly sparked some deep thought in my today…and this is where I get to the point of this entire blog. 

You don’t have to be one. 

In fact, you shouldn’t adopt one singularly…that demotes you to a less dynamic life. 2/3 less in fact. 

You have to adopt all three. You have to know when to go with the flow, when to exit on a journey, and to seize an opportunity when the moment is there. If you just do one, the other two parts, two amazing parts of life are going to be left unexperienced by you. 

If you just go with the flow, you may very well fail to put in the effort it takes to actually achieve your dreams. You may not be as disciplined as you need to be. You may lose that person in front of you. And the worst part of all, you may never know it’s actually happening because life’s current is actually taking you that way. 

Going with the flow is a great thing…don’t get me wrong. But I think there are times for it. 

If you believe the world is made up of energy and moving parts, then you might also grasp the idea that there are currents running through us and the universe right now. These currents can be felt all around the world. They can’t be seen, but they can be felt. Take all of the human rights abuses, wars, and disasters going on in our world right now. A young man in California can feel the energy that is putting off from halfway around the world. 

These currents are profound, and I believe that if you live your life just going with it…then you may be swept by these currents. Some are more profound than others. Some may have nothing to do with events going on in the world, but maybe a current produced by a friend or someone you are dating. 

I am a believer in the fact that the energy we produce and put out there in the world is a current that can be felt like many people. This, is always why I put out positive material every day for people to read. I believe that it has a ripple effect, and I am always finding some way to connect with more people and make an impact. I didn’t used to believe this. Now, after a few select events, I do…very much so.

If you disappear from the world and let your relationships falter…you lose a piece of yourself. Having great people around you is one of the joys of life. I never really understood what great relationships could be like with friends and loved ones until I reached the middle of my twenties. Now, I thoroughly enjoy people’s company, and seek it out quite often. Before, I was like a hermit. Afraid and self-conscious.

I believe that when you combine all three off these traits, Ebb, Flow, Crash…you become a unique individual. You must know when to grip the helm and take control of your life and move your ship in a new direction…a direction that for the time being may be against the current. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe that is you doing something that has never been done before? Breaking new ground and charting new waters is always a good thing. 

The trifecta.

Understand that balance is not a 50 50 thing. Balance is often a combination of 33 1/3 or even more broken down points. There are many different places on the sliding scale for different approaches. Bring them all together. 

Be relaxed enough to let your journey be dictated by the heavens.

Be focused enough to put in the work and demand the best from yourself. 

Be aware enough to crash and seize the opportunity when it arrives. 

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project