Last Night In A Dream I Died
Posted on June 9, 2014
Paraphrased from the Beats commercial
Today is another important day in our lives.
Live like it’s the last day of your life
You’re a crazy man chasing happiness
Live for your family and friends
Today be happy
But there’s one more thing…
It’s important that you don’t hold back.
This quote has been recently written on my large blackboard and I have read it every single morning out loud. But I don’t want to talk about this quote, I want to talk about this dream.
Last night, I saw myself die an old happy man. My wife’s hand was there holding mine and I somehow knew that there were thousands of people outside the hospital. That room was bright, it was peaceful…everything was whiter than white. As I held her hand, and I could feel my own breath slowing, I whispered something into her ear. “We really did it didn’t we.” I looked down at my bare feet as if to make sure I had no rubber left on my shoes, and then whispered once again, “All engines burnt out. It’s been a wonderful life.”
Then it was all gone. Perfectly gone.
I woke up from this dream around midnight and knew exactly how I needed to live. I needed to not hold anything back and to roar ahead to the end. We are all given a death sentence in this life. Some of us are here for longer than others. But there is something about seeing your own that makes you look at yourself now and really see things precisely for what they are. What I saw, presumably many many many decades down the line, was a man who went out happy because he stayed in the game his entire life. He never stopped producing. He never stopped doing. He never stopped creating. That man was surrounded in light because he created his dreams.
I am in the process of birthing those dreams.
For the past almost two weeks I have been giving my complete and undivided attention to my health goal. Needless to say, it has been one hell of an experience and I have been wildly successful in doing it. As proud as I am of the first baby steps, there is still a long way to go. In fact, to be precise, there’s 89 days left. But these first 11 days have been flawless. They are a foundation in which I have built upon actually making the sacrifices for what I want.
Every person who has ever achieved anything will tell you that…that you have to make the sacrifices to get what you want.
You have to give things up. You have to believe in a grand vision and know that not only you will be a better person when you walk out of it, but the world will also benefit from your sacrifices. In order to become the person you want, to be the person you want to be, to improve upon yourself and to take things to the next level, you have to be excited about growing pains.
It may not seem like much to the outsider, but to me, over the past 11 days, I am most proud of that one day I walked out of the gym exhausted, pouring sweat, knees and shins hurting, and talked myself into taking a 2 mile run. Every step was agony. 3/4 the way through I wanted to stop. Just to walk the rest of the way because I was in pain. My muscles were already aching from the start from a brutal leg workout and I was at the point of not being able to take anymore in my head. But I kept going. I said to myself repeatedly
It’s not over until I win.
And it isn’t. This whole thing isn’t going to be close to over until I stand at the end in victory. No matter how hard it gets. No matter what the setback may be. I will control whatever I can control and this is not over until I win.
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes, courage is dropping the weight, realizing that you had a crappy set, and even if its not on your game plan picking it back up and giving it your best effort. Why is that courage? Because you had the ability to look yourself in the mirror and admit that you didn’t give it your all. Your ego doesn’t even come close to manipulating the situation and you give it another go. To me, small acts of courage throughout the day are what builds champions. Eventually, those small acts just become part of your routine. I am sure that there are some things I do throughout the day that people must think are ridiculous, but they are a part of me. They are a part of the formula I have tried and failed at over and over again…but have somehow through failure found things that work.
There’s an old saying…”Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Fail your way to success.”
I will end with this today, and I hope you wish this for yourself as well. I don’t want this to be easy. I want this to be the hardest damn thing I’ve ever done. I want to earn every last inch of this with sweat, blood, and tears. At the end, I will have conquered all my fear and set fire to all my doubts. I will stand a changed man not because of luck, but forged from iron and the product of pure will.
Live today, like you are a crazy man chasing happiness.
– Evan Sanders