There’s something to be said for the man who comes into the game, one hand tied behind his back, and is still dangerous. He’s still fighting for his life. The type of man who hasn’t really had anything guaranteed to him and has had to scratch and claw to get everything he wants.

He’s the type of man who has been let down time and time again. Who has dreamed, attempted, tried and failed over and over again. But the dreams live on in living color.

Crying is pretty familiar. Self sabotage a close cousin. Pain is a brother and doubt is a sister.

But faith is the father.

And that’s why I continue on. That’s what really makes everything continue to pull itself together and tick. These lessons, in the way they are being taught, are happening for a reason. I fully believe in that. Without the journey the lesson just becomes…well…shallow. The study of philosophy was built around the importance of developing the step by step thoughts in order to get to the final conclusion. I think there are a lot of similarities in that type of process as I reexamine many different things in my life and all sorts of new ideas and thoughts come up day after day.

There have been strange things happening to me over the past month. Well, maybe they aren’t “strange” but it certainly is peculiar on how fast these traits have been developing and how I have been able to take a step back from things and really see situations for what they are. That…has been a gift I have never had. I’ve always been neck deep in things without the ability to see it all from the outside.

I remember describing a time of my life as in the “eye of the storm.” I much more prefer an aerial view of things now. It gives you the opportunity to decide a better future for yourself.

I came to the realization the other day that the profound message I was given years ago was actually incomplete. Tracy said that “we have to hold the people we love with an open palm so that they are free to fly away from us, and if it is right, they will come back to us.” This is one of the most meaningful lessons I have ever been taught.

But it’s still missing a thought. And maybe I haven’t added it perfectly to the quote yet. But here it is.

We are blessed with two hands. And yes, with one we must hold the people we love with an open palm. This palm serves as a perch for people to come in and out of our lives at will. But we only need to have one open palm. The other hand is reserved for those who are closest to us. Those people in our lives who love, respect, and protects us. The ones who stand by their word and day in and day out give you their best as well. Create with the other hand. Give as much as you can. Build relationships that last.

Some will fly to the perch…and then take off. But always be focusing on what you are building with the other. Keep that other hand open just in case people want to come back.

In time, many will.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project