Focus on the door that’s shut, or look for those that have opened.

Opportunities present themselves in the face of adversity all the time. In fact, when we fall, it’s much easier to see what we are really made of than when we are flying in blue skies. Life often works like a series of “the next 200ft.” Things can be so foggy at times that you never really know what you are dealing with ahead of what you can see. That’s where faith comes in. Faith is the courage to keep going when you honestly and absolutely have no idea what really is going to happen to you after you complete the 200ft in front of you. Going headstrong into that takes some guts.

I encourage you to endure. To keep chipping away. Did you know that a lot of the railroad through Sierras…you know those tunnels that the trains go through…were hand pickaxed? Are you kidding me? You couldn’t have paid me enough money to work through the winter, with a pickax, trying to chip through cold granite. Many thought it was impossible. However, the men with the vision continued and it changed the landscape of the United States.

Things could be a lot harder I promise you. I always try to keep that in mind when I am feeling like I am suffering. I look at what I do have and acknowledge it. That gives me a good dose of appreciation. There are many many people in this world who have far less than you do. Suffer for a little while…but then make the choice to do something else with your time.

Maybe, on that last note, I should say this. There are three different types of people in your life. Confidants, Constituents and Comrades. The Confidants believe in you down to your core. They will be there for you no matter what. They will cry when you cry. They will celebrate when you are filled with joy. They will get in your face when you aren’t being who you are and guide you when you need light. They are to be cherished and held onto no matter what.

Constituents are the people who believe in what you believe. They will stay with you because you believe in the same thing they do. But once they find something that furthers their agenda, they will leave you. If you tell them your dreams, they will go out and try to accomplish them by themselves. The constituents support you though…and that’s why they are there. But always remember, these people will leave.

Comrades are those who believe in what you are against. They will go to battle with you and support you through war because they believe in your cause. But once the war is over they will move on.

Do not fear though – the Constituents and the Comrades are there for a reason. They support you through your times of need and serve as scaffolding for your life. Once the scaffolding is removed, you are left with the building.

Do not be afraid when people leave. That used to be my biggest fear. But now, I understand when they suddenly go that life was calling them somewhere else and our time was over because I have grown enough. At least, that’s how I look at it. Positive or negative…the choice is yours.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project