One of the first questions you might ask is, “Where the hell have you been?” I have been perfectly lost. I have been soaking in every single experience I can down in Los Angeles, putting myself in the way of opportunity, and seeing the beauty in moments I would ignore before.
Like I said, perfectly lost.
I come to the table tonight a different type of man and I fully intend to tell you the reasons why and how this all happened.
In order to change the world, we must first change ourselves. In order to show the world love, we must first love ourselves and those who are around us. As Lao Tzu said above, we must awake all of ourselves in order to fully transform into a servant that can bring gifts to the world. This transformation is the glue to the super. It rarely happens though because the journey is so incredibly difficult. Going back to the drawing table every single day is exhausting, sometimes personally humiliating, humbling, taxing…the list goes on. But like in anything, there is a positive balance to the equation. The thing is, many only see the negative that exists and forget to look for all of the great things that come out of self transformation. Love. Passion. An unyielding soul.
It’s resistance that strengthens us. And in the spirit of that idea, I want to share something I wrote to my sister this morning in relation to her struggles with the demanding nature of medical school.
“You are a very very strong woman. And you are answering the call every single day. Keep throwing on your armor and remember that you are creating all of this not for yourself, but for whatever is above watching over and checking out what you do with the tools and the skills you have been given. You are going to help so many people by what you are going to do…and before you know it you will be there.
Like a blacksmith’s arm, it is resistance that creates strength and hardness in the muscle. By slamming a hammer up against iron it becomes built. Forged in strength. Your doing the exact same thing. Talent took you very far, now it’s time to become skilled by beating on your craft each and every day. You got this.”
Our dreams can be forged by the constant recognition of the fact that they are precisely what we want out of life. That’s the first step. The second step is hammering away each and every day and bringing yourself to the finish line. Along the way, and I am a huge believer in the concept of Karma, you have to treat people with kindness, compassion, and love. Without these characteristics relationships suffer in the face of accomplishing something great. I have been there before, and as I have grown, I have come to realize that I would rather not accomplish something or even go on the journey if I am going to be hurting others as I go.
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” I couldn’t agree more. But I think true legends and heroes are those who believe in the beauty of their dreams, support the dreams of others, and spread light as they move towards their goals. Those are our heroes. Not the people in all the lights necessarily, but those behind the scenes doing what they know best for themselves and humanity each and every day. We should celebrate the common man, the one who no one knows but warms the hearts of the people he touches.
As I step forward back into writing here, I come with a fresh mind and new ideas on what truly matters in life. We can often get caught up in things that don’t matter. What I truly am impressed by when I spend time with people is those who can talk about their heart, their dreams, their experiences and tell stories that come from deep inside their soul. That touches me more than anything else. Because to me, that is actually spending time with someone. When you open your arms and at the same time let it all out. What scares you…what you fear…what you love.
Those are real conversations. That is as real as it gets. Those are moments you never forget and friendships, made of the strongest steel are created and stand the test of time.
Live life.
Laugh.
Love.
Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project
Thank you
I do not know how do you find time to always continue posting in your blog! I hope this is infectious! Maybe I can post as tenth as you do!
The genuineness of your revelatory message is apparent. Thank you for sharing.
This is such an uplifting post and all too true. You remind me to look for beauty in my day and not sweat the small stuff. It is wonderful to see you reach such a grand revelation in your life journey and I am sure it will serve you well. Perfect love and perfect trust.
Much food for thought here this early Sunday morning. You are absolutely right about living life to the fullest.
I really feel what you’re saying. Being open with others, overcoming challenges and believing in yourself is part of the journey of life. Along with having a solid dream that you believe is your purpose.True meaningful conversations about things that matter are rare but so valuable too…
Great post!
I, sadly, must admit to having fallen behind on this blog so I’m a bit out of touch. I find it interesting, that it should coincide that the last couple of weeks have proven to be tough, with making work-related mistakes, etc., and some other frustrations with my own goals and starting to fill with self-doubt. I find that reading your blog was always a help to me, in keeping positive about what it is I hope to do and to get accomplished. My reading this is well timed because I needed a jolt of positivity. I tend to be highly self-critical and while there can be some good from that, too much is never good. So thank you for helping me to return some balance. I love what you have to say in this post. Eleanor Roosevelt is one of my favorites so I loved that you used one of her quotes. Her birthday was just Oct. 11 just fyi. I totally agree that our pursuit of happiness shouldn’t impede on others; that part of our happiness actually stems from helping others as we go along our way. I also couldn’t agree more with being fully forthcoming with someone in conversation; truly revealing a piece of someone’s heart to another – it’s true bonding. It sort of makes me think of a moment in a movie called “Must Love Dogs” with Diane Lane and John Cusack, both are divorcees in the movie. He’s this deep, philosophical person and at one point he talks about skipping the small talk and just taking the moment to be genuinely honest with each other about their stories and what you said relates. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and thoughts. It really does help. 🙂
It’s all so, however, you’ll never please everybody, and that way somebody always gets hurt whether you intended that or not. The truth is that people value very distinctive things and sometimes straight the opposite stuff of what you do. By doing something good for one person you might be causing troubles in another person’s life. There are no absolutely positive actions with a positive outcome for absolutely all people, just think about all big movements and what opposition they met. There would not be any problems if we all were open-minded and honest and wishing the best our neighbours. The question is: why does not the world change when so many people are trying to do their best, and yes, they start with themselves, they develop the best and most important features, personal strength, willpower, help others, etc.? There’s too much greed, too much selfishness, too much lie, too much of simple dumbness. Why do you think so many people waste time watching reality shows? Do they want to become better people by doing so? Do they find any sense in killing their only lifetime in a completely idiotic way? While you personally are a great person who is trying hard to implement ideals and great principles in the routine life, maybe 1 out of each 1000 is realistically getting what you mean by explaining your challenges, goals and dreams.
I like your persistence a lot, good luck!
Thank you Evan, you have expressed this beautifully, especially how you feel about spending time with people who share their heart, dreams and experiences. I cherish those friendships. I have also found how important it is to first look at and change yourself if you want the world around you to change. It just doesn’t happen otherwise at least not the way you need it to change.
Truth…indeed……