One of the first questions you might ask is, “Where the hell have you been?” I have been perfectly lost. I have been soaking in every single experience I can down in Los Angeles, putting myself in the way of opportunity, and seeing the beauty in moments I would ignore before.

Like I said, perfectly lost.

I come to the table tonight a different type of man and I fully intend to tell you the reasons why and how this all happened.

In order to change the world, we must first change ourselves. In order to show the world love, we must first love ourselves and those who are around us. As Lao Tzu said above, we must awake all of ourselves in order to fully transform into a servant that can bring gifts to the world. This transformation is the glue to the super. It rarely happens though because the journey is so incredibly difficult. Going back to the drawing table every single day is exhausting, sometimes personally humiliating, humbling, taxing…the list goes on. But like in anything, there is a positive balance to the equation. The thing is, many only see the negative that exists and forget to look for all of the great things that come out of self transformation. Love. Passion. An unyielding soul.

It’s resistance that strengthens us. And in the spirit of that idea, I want to share something I wrote to my sister this morning in relation to her struggles with the demanding nature of medical school.

“You are a very very strong woman. And you are answering the call every single day. Keep throwing on your armor and remember that you are creating all of this not for yourself, but for whatever is above watching over and checking out what you do with the tools and the skills you have been given. You are going to help so many people by what you are going to do…and before you know it you will be there.

Like a blacksmith’s arm, it is resistance that creates strength and hardness in the muscle. By slamming a hammer up against iron it becomes built. Forged in strength. Your doing the exact same thing. Talent took you very far, now it’s time to become skilled by beating on your craft each and every day. You got this.”

Our dreams can be forged by the constant recognition of the fact that they are precisely what we want out of life. That’s the first step. The second step is hammering away each and every day and bringing yourself to the finish line. Along the way, and I am a huge believer in the concept of Karma, you have to treat people with kindness, compassion, and love. Without these characteristics relationships suffer in the face of accomplishing something great. I have been there before, and as I have grown, I have come to realize that I would rather not accomplish something or even go on the journey if I am going to be hurting others  as I go.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” I couldn’t agree more. But I think true legends and heroes are those who believe in the beauty of their dreams, support the dreams of others, and spread light as they move towards their goals. Those are our heroes. Not the people in all the lights necessarily, but those behind the scenes doing what they know best for themselves and humanity each and every day. We should celebrate the common man, the one who no one knows but warms the hearts of the people he touches.

As I step forward back into writing here, I come with a fresh mind and new ideas on what truly matters in life. We can often get caught up in things that don’t matter. What I truly am impressed by when I spend time with people is those who can talk about their heart, their dreams, their experiences and tell stories that come from deep inside their soul. That touches me more than anything else. Because to me, that is actually spending time with someone. When you open your arms and at the same time let it all out. What scares you…what you fear…what you love.

Those are real conversations. That is as real as it gets. Those are moments you never forget and friendships, made of the strongest steel are created and stand the test of time.

Live life.



Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project